A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
lmao
•¤**¤••¤**¤••¤
(`•.•´¨)*A gIrL iS MuCh MoRe
(`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨)*ThAn ShE SeEmS
(`•.¸.•´)*NoT A ToY By AnY MeAnS
(¨`•.•´¨)*UnDeRNeAtH tHe MaKe-Up N' hAiR
(`•.¸(¨`•.•´¨)*ThErE iS a SiGn SaYiN'
(`•.¸.•´)*'HaNdle WiTh CaRe
•¤**¤••¤**¤••¤
*:.)•°¹¤¯¶xº~¤~ºx¶
(.:*( ••°It ToOk Me By°•• )*:.)
)*:.) •CoMPlEtE SuPrIsE• (.:*(
(.:*( •×WhEn My HeaRtו )*:.)
)*:.)•ºGoT LoSt In hisº• (.:*(
(.:*(ºº•°••°•EyEz•°
)*:.) HeS NoT aLl I WaS (.:*(
(.:*( ••LoOkIn' FoR•• )*:.)
)*:.)BuT HeS AlL i WaNt (.:*(
(.:*(°AnD So MuCh MoRe°)*:.)
)*:.)•°¹¤¯¶xº~¤~º¢X
stoners live and stoners die,
but in the end we all get high,
si if at first you dont sucseed,
fuck the word and smoke some weed
i havent put much stuff i found in lately..hehe
*touch me, tease me, kiss me, please me*
...A promise is a promise...
..at least thats what they say..
...Well welcome to reality...
..there broken everyday..
[(*`·.·́*)]Be Sure Its True When YOU
[`·.*.·́]Say I Love YOU[(*`·.·́*)]
Millons Of Hearts [`·.*.·́ ]
Have Been [(*`·.·́*)]Broken
Just Because[·.*.·́] These Words
Were Spoken.
♥ There's no one in the world
I'd rather spend time with than you,
no one whose smile
touches my heart like yours,
no one who can make me feel good
just by being with me.
There's no one in the world
I could ever love as much
as I love you.♥
"You And Me"
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right
Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all of the people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
good song
I know it seems like we're never coming back
i know it feels like we're never coming back
you tried your best and you knew it wouldn't last
these were the words that she placed on her casket
[Saying goodbye this time, the same old story
Seeing you cry it makes me feel like saying sorry]
i just wanted you to know
i think about you every night
when i fall asleep
you are in my dreams
and just like in a movie
the one you want to see
with a happy ending
[And all I had was the memory of what was
so lets pretend it never mattered to us
I hope this message finds you well
I never thought I'd live to tell
what's a dream and what is real, the way I really feel]
And I can't make it on my own.
Because my heart is in Ohio.
So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
So I can fall asleep tonight, or die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.
[I never said
This would be easy
I let her go when she said she was leaving
So whisper softly
And don't forget
To tell me how you feel in 5 words or less]
Close the door, lock it tight
They don't know your safe tonight
Turn on a song that means the most
Believe im there and hold me close
[You are such a light sleeper
Count to ten and you're already up
We fall, we're in deeper
The nights gone as we open up our eyes]
Oh, well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of words:
"What a beautiful wedding!", "What a beautiful wedding!" says a bridesmaid to a waiter.
"And yes, but what a shame, what a shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
Hey
I'm your life
I'm the one who takes you there
I'm your life
I'm the one who cares
they
they betray
I'm your only true friend now
they
they'll betray
I'm forever there
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
sad but true
I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
you know it's sad but true
you
you're my mask
you're my cover, my shelter
you
you're my mask
you're the one who's blamed
do
do my work
do my dirty work, scapegoat
do
do my deeds
for you're the one who's shamed
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
sad but true
I'm your dream, mind astray
I'm your eyes while you're away
I'm your pain while you repay
you know it's sad but true
hate
I'm your hate
I'm your hate when you want love
pay
pay the price
pay, for nothing's fair
hey
I'm your life
I'm the one who took you here
hey
I'm your life
and I no longer care
I'm your dream, make you real
I'm your eyes when you must steal
I'm your pain when you can't feel
sad but true
I'm your truth, telling lies
I'm your reasoned alibis
I'm inside open your eyes
I'm you
sad but true
*a girls first time*
(Assume you are a girl if you are a boy)
It's your first time. As you lie back your
muscles tighten. You put him
off for a while searching for an excuse, but he
;refuses to be swayed as he
approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you
shake your head bravely.
He has had more experience, but it's the first
time his finger has found
the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver;
your body tenses; but
he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks
deeply within your eyes
and tells you to trust him - he's done this many
times before. His cool
smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him
;more room for an easy
entrance.You begin to plead and beg him to hurry,
but he slowly takes his
time, wanting to cause you as little pain as
possible. As he presses
;closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give
way; pain surges throughout
your body and you feel the slight trickle of
blood as he continues. He
looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too
painful.Your eyes are
filled with tears but you shake your head and nod
for him to go on. He
begins going in and out with skill but you are
now too numb to feel him
within you. After a few moments, you feel
something bursting within you and
he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to
have it over. He looks
at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with
chuckle; that you have been
his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience.
You smile and thank your
dentist. After all,it was your first time to have
a tooth pulled.
Naughty, Naughty!
omg!! thats completally ....wrong!! lol
[Walking in my nighty; rubbing my eyes
My fathers sitting on the sofa with his friend
He pats the seat in the middle; i sit
Shivering so cold; a quilt he lends
"Jessy you love me dont you" a smile; his
Their breathe spirts weep
"Daddy you know i do; what is it?"
He smiles at his friend; his hand creeps
His friend takes my hand; looks me in the eyes
Daddys creeping up my nightie; cold hands
I try to pull his hand away; grip is strong!
They look at one another; nod; something planned
I feel my palms sweat; Daddys under my knickers
"Daddy im going to bed! Night" Pulling again
But there grip is to strong for weak me
I look at both; and ask, who are these men?
His fingers going up me; pulling away
His friend leans forward; a kiss? Why?
His toungue moving mine; my eyes squint
Lean back and away; "Why are you doing this?"
No answer, i feel the pain inside me; him
Chucks the quilt on the floor; me to
I try and scamper away, but im not fast
"O Daddy please, i love you"
His friend; pulling at my nightie
And my Dad pulling my pants down
His friend pinning my hands to the floor
As my Dad lies himself on the ground
I squirm; as Daddy friend pulls me up
And places me ontop of Daddy; thrusts within
I cry; i bite; i scratch; i slap; i fail
"O Daddy please you win you win!"
I can feel my skin rip; my virginity breaking free
I can feel the blood seep down my leg
"Daddy your hurting me please"
I plead to him and his friend; not even a beg
Daddys laughing; why does he laugh?
His friend shoves himself in my mouth and moans
Tieing my hands togather; moving in and out
"Ride me Jessy" He laughs and groans
They smile at one another; laugh to
They roll me over and spread me wide wel
My daddy sits on my face; himself in again
While his friend talks and pushes himself inside
I can hardly breathe; i gag for air
I cough and splutter; cry and weep
I beg and plead; but its no use
Theyve already made me hurt and bleed
I stare into his eyes; that look upon me
This is not my Dad; where is he?
If he was still here; would he care
Would he actually even; see?
Finally they get of and lie me on the sofa
My cheeks blouchy from tears and pain
They play with them selfs; all over me
Rub it in; making me feel the shame
"Why Daddy? Please tell me why?"
Dad looks at his friend; and waves him away
"Jessy i love you" he smiles and kisses my cheek
"Is that all you have in your heart to say?"
He puts my nightie on me
I walks me to my bedroom door
Ever since that night; His friend
And himself every Friday come back for more
"Night sweet Girl; You are my life"
Closing the door, tears still down my face
Still the smell of him and his friend
Fade into me like disgrace
I watch the Moon go down; the sun come up
"Jessy its school" Knocking at my door
I cant help but cry; weep in pain
Because im so scared he wanted more
But one night daddy took it too far
Daddy and his friend came back for one last shot
They were worried they would get caught
So he and his friend took me to a cemetary lot
I was blindfolded and my hands were tied back
"Daddy please!! Not tonight!"
Daddy and his friend both had their last fun
After that i tried to put up a fight
I begged daddy "Please no more!"
All he could say "Shut up you stupid whore!"
Daddy unblindfolded me at last
He said I love you so much
He went back into the car and pulled out a bat
"Daddy I swear I wont say a thing!!!!"
I was dead
After only one swing.....]
[*RAPE IS WRONG*]
*ive been looking 4 this 4 a while..guess wat? i found it!*
[Be more concerned about your character than your reputation,
because your character is who you are,
and your reputation is what others think of you.]
.............\
.............(0 o)
....,---ooO(_)-------,
.......|` Where the ``|
.......| fuck is my ````|
.......|damn pizza rolls|
.......'------
...........|__
............|| ||
...........ooO Ooo
lmao
Your shady hat $30
your ecko jeans $65
your g-unit shirt $43
sweatshirt 75$
your rocawear socks 21$
your nexi $100
your bling bling $250
your gucci du-rag $25
Realizing that you're white..
Priceless
lmao
--------------
~Stubborn and hard-hearted.
~Strong-willed and highly motivated.
~Sharp Thoughts.
~Easily angered.
~Attracts others and loves attention.
~Deep Feelings.
~Beautiful physically and mentally.
~Firm Standpoint.
~Needs no Motivation.
~Shy towards opposite sex.
~Easily consoled.
~Systematic (left Brain).
~Loves to dream.
~Strong clairvoyance.
~Understanding
~Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
~Good imagination.
~Good physical.
~Weak Breathing.
~Loves literature and the arts.
~Loves traveling.
~Dislike being at home.
~Restless.
~Not having many children.
~Hardworking.
~High spirited..
~If you repost this in the next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.
[1. Write the name of a person of the opposite sex on a piece of paper.
2. Which color is your favorite out of red, black, blue, green and yellow?
3. Your first initial
4. Your month of birth
5. Which color do you like most? Black or white?
6. Name of a person of the same gender as you.
7. Do you like California or Florida more?
8. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?
9. Write down a realistic wish.
ARE YOU DONE? IF SO, SCROLL DOWN..
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THE ANSWERS
1. You are completely in love with this person
2. If you choose: RED - You are alert and your life is full of love. BLACK - You are conservative and aggressive GREEN - Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back BLUE - You are spontaneous and love kisses and affection from the one you love YELLOW - You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down
3. If your initial is: A-K - You have a lot of love and friendship in your life L-R - You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is soon to blossom S-Z - You like to help others and your future love life looks very good
4. If you were born in: JAN.-MAR. - The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected APR.-JUNE - You will have a strong love relationship that will not last long but with memories that will last forever JULY-SEPT. - You will have a great year and experience a major life changing experience for the good OCT.-DEC. - Your love life will not be too great, but eventually, you will find your soul mate
5. If you chose: BLACK - Your life will take on a different direction, it will seem hard for you at the time but it will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change. WHITE - You will have a friend who completely confides in you and would do anything for you, but you may not realize it.
6. This person is your best friend.
7. If you chose: CALIFORNIA - You like adventure FLORIDA - You are laid back
8. If you chose: LAKE - You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved. OCEAN - You are spontaneous and like to please people.
9. This wish will only come true if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN on your house within the next hour and it will come true before your next birthday!!!!!!!]
ROSES ARE DEAD
VIOLETS ARE TOO
YOU THOUGHT YOU HURT ME AND MADE ME CRY
BUT I WAS IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER GUY
YOU SIT AROUND AND TALK YOUR SHIT
SO FUCK YOU AND YOUR LIL ASS DICK
YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME BUT IT WASNT TRUE
WELL GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKER I PLAYED YOU TOO
hmm...
December 23rd~ January 1st = Red
January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange
January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow
January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink
February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue
February 9th ~ February 18th = Green
February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown
March 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua
March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime
March 21st = Black
March 22nd ~March 31st = Purple
April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy
April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver
April 21st ~ April 30th = White
May 1st ~ May 14th = Blue
May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold
May 25th ~ June 3rd= Cream
June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey
June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon
June 24th = Grey
June 25th ~ July 4th = Red
July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange
July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow
July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink
August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue
August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green
August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown
September 3rd ~ September 12th = Aqua
September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime
September 23rd = Olive
September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple
October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy
October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver
October 24th ~ November 11th = White
November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold
November 22nd ~ December 1st = Cream
December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey
December 12th ~ December 21st = Maroon
December 22nd = Teal
*RED* Cute and lovable type, You are picky but always in love...and liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at times. Capable with people nice, soft, and that can love you for the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to and can make you feel comfortable. >
*CREAM* Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very out going. You choose love carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the right one, you don't let go for a long time.
*TEAL* You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead and it is easy for you to make new friends.You are very competitive and love to be first.
*GREY* You are attractive and active. You never hide your feelings and express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You can brighten up peoples day. You know what to say at the right time and you have good sense of humor.
*GREEN* You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are single, waiting for the right person.
*GOLD* You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for a long time.
*PINK* You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a fairytale.
*YELLOW* You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people and have a strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming of romantic relationship.
*MAROON* You are intelligent and know what's right. You like to make things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble for not thinking about other people's feelings. But you're patient when it comes to love. Once you get a hold of the right person, it's hard for you to find a better love.
*ORANGE* You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to treat people. You always have goals to reach and you really work hard to get there, you are competitive. Your friends are really important to you and you appreciate what you have, you sometimes over react that's because you are sensitive.
*PURPLE* You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and forget things easily. You go for a person that's trustworthy.
*LIME* You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing, but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and like you.
*SILVER* You are imaginative and fun, you love trying new things. You like to challenge yourself and you learn things easily, you're easy to talk to and you give good advice. When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone, but once you find the right friend, you trust them forever.
*BLACK* You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and different.
*OLIVE* You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are kind and cheerful, people that are easy to talk but don't envy other people easily.
*BROWN* You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.
*BLUE* You may have low self-esteem, and can be very picky. You are artistic and like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving with your mind, not your heart.
*NAVY* You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry at someone, its hard for you to forgive them.
*WHITE* You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes weird, but everyone loves that in you.
*AQUA* Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely, and like traveling. You are truthful, but listen and believe other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and you get lost in love easily, Sometimes get hurt by love.
20 ways to keep yourself sane:
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses
on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone
has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
8. Don't use any punctuation marks
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
11. Specify that your drive-through! order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard Devon.
17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!", "I won!"
"3rd time this week!!!!!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Put this in all of your profiles
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
1. Somebody is very proud of you.
2. Somebody is thinking of you.
3. Somebody is caring about you.
4. Somebody misses you.
5. Somebody wants to talk to you.
6. Somebody wants to be with you.
7. Somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
8. Somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
9. Somebody wants to hold your hand.
10. Somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
11. Somebody wants you to be happy.
12. Somebody is celebrating your successes.
13. Somebody wants to give you a gift.
14. Somebody thinks that you are a gift.
15. Somebody hopes you're not too cold, or too hot
16. Somebody wants to hug you.
17. Somebody loves you.
18. Somebody admires your strength.
19. Somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
20. Somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.
21. Somebody wants to go out with you and have a lot of fun.
22. Somebody thinks the world of you.
23. Somebody wants to protect you.
24. Somebody would do anything for you.
25. Somebody wants to be forgiven by you.
26. Somebody is grateful for your forgiveness.
27. Somebody wants to laugh with you.
28. Somebody remembers you and wishes that you were there.
29. Somebody is praising God for you.
30. Somebody needs to know that your love for them is unconditional.
31. Somebody values your advice.
32. Somebody wants to tell you how much they care.
33. Somebody wants to share their dreams with you.
34. Somebody wants to hold you in their arms.
35. Somebody wants you to hold them in your arms.
36. Somebody treasures your spirit.
37. Somebody wishes they could stop time because of you.
38. Somebody praises God for your friendship and love.
39. Somebody can't wait to see you.
40. Somebody loves you for who you are.
41. Somebody loves the way you make them feel.
42. Somebody wants to be with you (forever and ever).
43. Somebody wants you to know they are there for you (always).
44. Somebody is glad that you're their friend.
45. Somebody wants to be your friend.
46. Somebody stayed up all night thinking about you.
47. Somebody is alive because of you.
48. Somebody is wishing that you noticed them.
49. Somebody wants to get to know you better.
50. Somebody wants to be near you.
51. Somebody misses your advice and guidance.
52. Somebody has faith in you.
53. Somebody trusts you...A lot.
54. Somebody needs your support.
55. Somebody needs you to have faith in them.
56. Somebody needs you to let them be your friend.
57.Somebody hears a song that reminds them of you.
58.Somebody will cry when they read this.
Just SOme Sex Facts:
+MEN+
1) 94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men use extra large condoms.
2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth).
3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even though Pediatrics say it is not necessary.
4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's)
5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size.
6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion."
7) Only 16% of men shave their privates.
+Some stuff on the ladies+
1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do).
2) 43% of women use the term "natural" to describe themselves, 24% say they have "average" looks,
8% prefer the term "feminine",
7% say they are "good looking",
and 7% say they are "cute",
and finally only 2% of women say they are "sexy".
2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra.
3) 50% of women have had breast implants.
4) 85% of women dont like performing oral sex
5) 90% of women shave their privates.
+Both+
1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women.
2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before they have graduated.
3) 27% loose their virginity senior prom night.
4) Only 3% wait until marriage.
5) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way.
----
+5 Reasons Why Sex is Good:
1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation.
2) You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick.
3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than women who dont have sex.
4) Makes you look better - [ problem is, ugly people don`t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in you which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique.
5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are.
Did You Know?
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1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running 75 miles!!!!
2) having sex increases the amount cortisol and adrenaline in your brain inturn making you smarter. so getting fucked on test day is actually a good thing!!
Statements about sex:
1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests find that when women make love they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.
2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis,ski
3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.
4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!
5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.
6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones.The
7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.
8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.
9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.
10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.
So now you know...if they ever ask you which sport is healthiest, you know which one and why!!;)
SEX IS LIKE MATH:
add a bed
subtract the clothes
divide the legs
and pray to God u don't multiply
SEX IS:
like Nokia; connecting ppl
like Nike; just do it
like Pepsi; ask 4 more
like Coca cola; enjoy
like pringles once you pop you cant stop
oo..new glasses there purple! <3!