I PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!

OMG HOW WEIRD DOES THIS IBANEZ RG2228 8STRING LOOK!!

HELL YEAH!!! I MET SLIPKNOT AT MY LOCAL ROCK NIGHT!!! IT WAS SWEET!!!

A state trooper pulls over a car for speeding and the female driver says "I guess you want to sell me some tickets to the Trooper's Ball?" The trooper responded, "Troopers don't have balls, ma'am." After he realized what he said, he simply walked back to his car and drove away.

took from [SUCh A b3AUtifUl diSASt3R]

i'm worth £850

Hair color:
[] Natural Blonde £45
[] Highlighted Blonde £40
[] Brunette £45
[x] Dark (brown, black) £50
[] Redhead £30
[] Brown £40
[] Other £15

Total So Far: £50

Eye Color:
[x] Blue £25
[x] Green £15
[] Brown £20
[] Gray £15
[] Hazel £30
[ ] Other £10

Total So Far: £90

Height:
[] Under 5' £20
[] 5'1" - 6' £30
[x] Over 6' £35

Total So Far: £125

Age:
[ ] 13 and under £10
[x] 14-17 £20
[ ] 18-20 £20
[ ] 20-30 £25
[ ] 30-40 £15
[ ] Over 40 £10

Total So Far: £145

Education:
[ ] Elementary School £15
[ ] Middle School (yr 6-8) £25
[ ] minor niner (gr.9) £25
[ ] Quit high school £0
[ ] Still in high school £10
[ ] GED £10
[ ] High School Grad £50
[x] In College £75
[ ] 2 year degree £85
[ ] 4 year degree £100
[ ] Higher degree £125

Total So Far: £215

Birth Order:
[] Only child £15
[] First born £40
[] Last born £20
[] Middle child £30
[x]Other £20

Total So Far: £235

Smoke Cigarettes?
[ ] Yes £1
[x] No £50
[ ] Quit £5

Total So Far: £285

Drink?
[] Never £40
[] Sometimes £30
[] 1-3 a year £20
[] 1-5 drinks per month £15
[] 6-10 drinks per month £15
[] 11+ drinks per month £5
[] Quit £25

Total So Far: £290

Vision?
[x] No correction £30
[ ] Glasses £10
[ ] Contacts £15
[ ] Surgical correction £20

Total So Far: £320

Car Color: (Cars in my family)
[] Gold £50
[] Red £30
[x] Blue £45
[] Green £25
[] Silver £45
[] White £15
[] Black £40
[] Other £20
[] No Car £0

Total So Far: £365
Shoe Size:

[] below 13 £15
[] 13/1 £20
[] 2/3/4 £5
[] 5/6 £15
[x] 7/8 £30
[] 9+ £40

Total So Far: £395

Current Undies:
[] Bikini £15
[] Thong £15
[] Brief £5
[x] Boxers £20
[] Girl boxers £30
[] Boy Cut £35
[] Man Thong £50
[] none of your business £1

Total So Far: £415

Room Color:
[] White £0
[] Cream £3
[] Black £5
[] Purple £10
[] Red £15
[] Blue £50
[] Orange £10
[] Pink £10
[] Yellow £15
[] Green £25
[] Brown £75
[x] Other £10

Total So Far: £425

multiply it by 2 = £850

Repost this as:. i'm worth £???

I HAVE (X)=yes (_)=no
(X) I HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(X) I HAVE SMOKED POT
(X) I HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
(X) I HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I HAVE CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(_) I HAVE BEEN TO JAPAN
(_) I HAVE RODE IN A TAXI
(_) I HAVE HAD ANAL SEX
(X) I HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I HAVE HAD SEX
(_) I HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(X) I HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I HAVE SHOPLIFTED
(_) I HAVE BEEN FIRED
(X) I HAVE BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(_) I HAVE HAD A THREESOME
(X) I HAVE BEEN SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(_) I HAVE BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(_) I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING (not too sure almost though)
(_) I HAVE PISSED ON MYSELF
(_) I HAVE HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I HAVE BEEN ARRESTED
(_) I HAVE MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I HAVE STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(_) I HAVE WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I HAVE LIED TO A FRIEND
(_) I HAVE HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) I HAVE SKIPPED SCHOOL
(_) I HAVE SLEPT WITH A CO-WORKER
(_) I HAVE BEEN SKYDIVING
(_) I HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(X) I HAVE PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
(_) I HAVE WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I HAVE WALKED IN ON MY PARENTS HAVING SEX
(_) I HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
(_) I HAVE EGGED A HONDA ELEMENT (dont have them in england)
(X) I HAVE LIED JUST TO COVER MY OWN ASS
(X) I HAVE CUT SOMEONE AND MADE THEM BLEED
(_) I HAVE RAN FROM THE COPS
(_) I HAVE STOLE A CAR FOR THE FUN OF IT
(X) I HAVE WALKED INTO AN OPEN DOOR
(_) I HAVE DANCED AROUND MY HOUSE IN MY UNDERWEAR
(X) I HAVE BEEN ON A DATE
(X) I HAVE NEVER CRASHED A FOUR WHEELER
(X) I HAVE DRINKEN LIQUOR ALOT (does 5 days drinking count?)
(X) i HAVE NEVER SWORN IN CHURCH
(_) I NEVER HAD A LONG LASTING RELATION SHIP

[what mu mother taught me]

Mothers............Things we owe to our mothers

1.*_ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE_*. "If you're
going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2.*_ My mother taught me RELIGION_*. "You better pray that will come
out of the carpet."

3.*_ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL_*. "If you don't straighten
up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4.*_ My mother taught me LOGIC_*. " Because I said so, that's why."

5.*_ My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*. "If you fall out of that swing
and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6.*_ My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*. "Make sure you wear clean
underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7.*_ My mother taught me IRONY_*. "Keep crying, and I'll give you
something to cry about."

8.*_ My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*. "Shut your
mouth and eat your supper."

9.*_ My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM_*. "Will you look at that
dirt on the back of your neck!"

10.*_ My mother taught me about STAMINA_*. "You'll sit there until all
that spinach is gone."

11.*_ My mother taught me about WEATHER_*. "This room of yours looks as
if a tornado went through it."

12.*_ My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*. "If I told you once, I've
told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13.*_ My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*. "I brought you into
this world, and I can take you out."

14.*_ My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*. "Stop acting
like your father!"

15.*_ My mother taught me about ENVY_*. "There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like
you do."

16. *_My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*. "Just wait until we get
home"

17. *_My mother taught me about RECEIVING_* "You are going to get it
when you get home!"

18.*_ My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*. "If you don't stop
crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19.*_ My mother taught me ESP_*. "Put your sweater on; don't you think
I know when you are cold?"

20.*_ My mother taught me HUMOR_*. "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."

21.*_ My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT_*. "If you don't eat
your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.*_ My mother taught me GENETICS_*. "You're just like your father."

23. *_My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*. "Shut that door behind you.
Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24.*_ My mother taught me WISDOM_*. "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

25. And my favorite: -*_ My mother taught me about JUSTICE_*. "One day
you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

i tattooed a fifty pound note to my cock

now i can play with my money, fondle my money, watch my money grown.....and now when the wife wants to go out and blow £50 she can stay in and do it instead

i licked and old lady cos im a hobbit

First the month you were born:
January - I kicked
February - I peed on
March - I licked
April - I smooched
May - I played with
June - I painted
July - I jumped on
August -I Iaughed at
Septemeber - I sexed up
October - I hugged
November - I smoked
December - I dropped

Next the day :
1- huge jackman
2- a rabid monkey
3- J
4- a mirror
5- the churchill dog
6- Mr Blobby
7- chocolate lard
8- swivel chair
9- a drag queen
10- Johnny Depp
11- a sheep
12- a mobile phone
13- a mongoose
14- an old lady
15- a transvestite
16- your mum
17- a kangeroo
18- shaun the sheep
19- a spliff
20- Bill Gates
21- a cow
22- a brick
23- a fishcake
24- Antony Hopkins
25- Wallis
26- Dorothy
27- chips
28- spiderman
29- a flower
30-gromit
31- Micheal Jackson

Lastly your colour underpants (main colour)
Pink - because im pregnant
YEllow- because the voices in my head told me to
Red- because the sex was crap
Blue- because im a hobbit
Black - because the rabis drove me to it
White- because I drank too much
Grey - because I couldnt get enough
Orange - because it makes the sun shine outta my ass!
Purple- because the stranger man next door made me
Green- because im worth it too!
Other - because I can get any

if i had the choice between tossing a salad and the electric chair i would be like....."so where do you plug it in?"

girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night

and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a

big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that

after dinner, she would like to go out and make love

for the first time.

* * * * * * * * *

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex

before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get

some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and

the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and

sex.

* * * * * * * * *

At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many

condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family

pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he

thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

* * * * * * * * *

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents

house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm

so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

* * * * * * * * *

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table

where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly

offers to say grace and bows his head.

* * * * * * * * *

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,

with his head down.

* * * * * * * * *

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

* * * * * * * * *

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the

girlfriend leans over and whispers to the

boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

* * * * * * * *

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your

father was a pharmacist."

woooooooohoooooooooo i had a fun day today.....i finally met one of my friends off here [Old Gregg =)] she is cool...and fun...... would love to meet up with her again

i finally opened up to my ex......i couldnt wait till sunday and we would only have a few mins to talk to i told her on msn

this is the convy

TIGER = ME
STEPH :p = HER

TIGER: since we started talking again properly......i have been constantly thinking about you....your never off my mind..... i even dream about you....i really like you.....we have similar sort of interests although i dont know them all....you make me happy everytime i see you...when you said yes to me asking you out i was even happyer...i could hardly sleep...

TIGER: i find your kisses to be amazing and your hugs just as amazing.....i really had loads of fun on saturday even though it was a short time we got to spend together....i even liked that we were planing ahead on when we could meet and stuff...it made me happy and smile thinking it might last

steph  :p: okay, i dnt mean 2 hurt u bt i dnt feel the same, id prefere it if we were jst mates, im sorry and im really sorry if i hurt u!

ok......dont need people helping anymore......already worked it out....and im meeting her on sunday

i have a question for anyone who reads this

i am constantly thinking about my ex and how much i want her back...on thursday i will be sitting next to her for an hour on the way to college....should i tell her how i feel about her now with a text message or should i wait till thursday and tell her face to face.....or not tell her at all?

now im retarded......black is east........white is up


(im not retarded)

i must have really liked her...cos im constantly thinking about her and dreaming about her, dreaming of her for about 4 days and thinking of her for about 2 weeks.....no matter what i do she is always on my mind....i really want her back.....she made me like super happy and i finally found a girl who lived close and leaves me......i really want her back more than ever :'(

learn chinese in 5 minutes

u MUST read them out loud)

1. thats not right- sum ting wong
2. are you harbouring a fugitive?- hu yu hai ding
3. stupid man- dum fuk
4. i bumped into a coffee table- ai bang mai fa kin ni
5. i think you need a face lift- chin tu fat
6. i thort you were on a diet- wai yu mun ching
7. your body ordour is offensive- yu stin ki pu
8. great- fa kin su pah
9. dildo- fun toi
10. give me the money- pei nau
11. where is the restroom?- ai pe nau
12. stop teasing me- tat nut fun
13. annoying kid- hit tat boi
14. my friend is a homo- he gai
15. your price is too high- ai no bai dam ting
16. having an early orgasm- kum tu suun
17. saying the same thing- ri pi ting
18. are you horney- yu har dik
19. i get drunk so easy- on li tu
20. lets get outta here- fa kin run
21. look at that ferrari- big boi toi
22. i'm just so horny- ma dik big
23. microsoft sucks- fa kin kom pu da
24. isnt it cold to pee outdoors- wai ju dung so tai nee
25. need the loo- nee tu pu
26. see me ASAP- kum hia nao
27. small horse- tai ne po ni
28. did you go to the beach- wai yu so tan
29. it's very dark in here- wai so dim
30. you are not very bright- yu so dum
31. you're just so stupid- fak yu
32. i am not guilty- wai hang mi

ok...so you want to know what's really wrong with me

well i have: -

a mother who is getting over breast cancer and always shouting at me
a father who has depression
friends who shout at me for no reason
friends who are leaving me for no reason
friends who go on random rants that start in the middle and so i dont have a clue what the fuck is going on
i had a gf who i really cared for who lives about 2miles away leave me for the reasons of it wernt working out...and i like someone else (apparently when she said yes...she realised she liked someone else...yet still met up with me the day later then dumped me a day later)
i am having too many problems with my computer...it's pissing me off too much
i have constant aches and pains in my knee's hip and lower back which i cant be assed with
i can hardly sit still (reasons unknown)

so before going on random rants and shouting at me for shit reasons think of what's happening to me at the momment as if i need anymore problems....i know some might seem minor...but still there annoying

maryann was absent for 5days because she had a fever, soar throat, headache, and upset stomach, her sister was also sick, fever, and soar throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over, i wasnt the best either, sore throat and fever, there must be something going around, her father even got hot last night

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/240975/f1_engine_song/