"hard work pays off in the future...laziness pays off now"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"some say the glass is half empty...others say its half full..but i keep wondering...who the fuck is drinking my beer?"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"confucious say...Better to be pi$$ed off than pi$$ed on"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Man who keep feet firmly on the ground have trouble putting on pants"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Man who pee on electric fence receive shocking news"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Man who sleep in bed of nails is holy"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Man who drop watch in toilet have $hitty time"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Help!!! I've fallen and can't.....hey nice carpet!"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Don't buy drugs,become a pop star an they give you them for free"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"A gentleman is one who never swears at his wife while others are present"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious."
- Alan Minter, Boxer
"evil will always win beacuse good is dumb"
-Dark Helmet, Spaceballs
"A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on."
- Fred Allen - Comedian
"A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done."
- Fred Allen
"What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?"
- Woody Allen
"I'm not afraid of dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens."
- Woody Allen
"It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
- Woody Allen
"The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence but you still have to mow it."
- Anonymous
"Despite the high cost of living it remains a popular item."
- Anonymous
"Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering."
- Anonymous
"Marriage is an institution, but who wants to live in an institution?"
- Anonymous
"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done."
- Anonymous
"Whenever you eliminate the inedible, whatever remains, however unpalatable, must be food."
- Anonymous
"Schizophrenia beats being alone."
- Anonymous
"If I Promise to miss you ... Will you go away?"
- Anonymous
"The Jews and Arabs should sit down and settle their differences like good Christians."
- Warren Austin - US Politician and diplomat
"Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say what we really need is a car that can be shot when it breaks down."
- Russell Baker
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C.
"I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including:
* Both of your socks should always be the same color
* Or they should at least both be fairly dark
- Dave Barry
"Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings"
-Annonomys FreakingHillariousQuotes2
Stumble!