"When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the world together."
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."
-George W. Bush
"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back."
-Al Bundy
"My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher."
-Socrates
"Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning."
- Aristotle Onassis
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"Never drive through a small Southern town at 100mph with the local sheriff's drunken 16-year-old daughter on your lap"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
"A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed"
-[InLoveDontBothe r]
Stumble!