He comith to me in a dream and whispers in my ear, its almost time. Why must god ignore thy will? He must know that this demon has come forth in ones dream. As I listened to the whispers of the dark, I made sure to close my eyes shut so I wouldnt be able to face this dreadful site. But as he invited me to his home, I felt as if I was being welcomed on all aspects. He whispers lightly " don't be afraid my child, Du' chus de torine Az'eul hut. I ask him what did the last words mean and he orders me to open my eyes. I slowly open them and look straight in his eyes and I drop my jaw in terror. All I could see were glowing red eyes with green as pupils. Once I looked at him,it were as if my eyes could not look away. I ask him once again what Du' chus de torine Az'eul hut means, and he looks and laughs. Then suddenly, he grabs my face and yells " Your soul belongs to Azazel. You are no longer a child of Jezuit!" Then he jumps into my body and I feel agonizing pain. And then I woke up. What should I think of this?

why the fuck do i always fall in love with people who hurt me? What did I ever do wrong? I was the biggest bitch towards the one person who actually loved me. Im such a fucking dumbass. God hates me but Ive forgotten how to give a shit what god thinks

Ive forgotten to remember all the lies
all the pain youve inflicted upon me,
the pills of happiness that shadowed the pain
till it built up to the point where death was leaking from my veins
you expected me to push you forward as you began to retreit
and lift you up after every defeat
Ive become your slave
im held captive by your demonic soul
youve trapped me in a corner and watched me disenegrate as I fall lower and lower to the ground,
Im chained by the ankles,
scratching at the walls
screaming, kicking but no one can hear me
my heart is hollow,
youve sucked every drop of love out of it and bathed in it
are you happy?
that I'll never be free
Im begging for someone to save me
from being enslaved for all eternity

I feel like shit. Everything that I thought mattered meant nothing. Maybe I should move on and find happiness somewhere else. It seems like the best thing to do as of now. Maybe I should forget everything youve said that I thought you meant and act like there was never a " me and you". Or maybe I should pull the trigger, I think youd feel the pain from being gone, but maybe im mistaken. Maybe you wouldnt give a damn whether I was here or not. Should I put an end to this misery? Or maybe not. Even though you've hurt me, Im still here and believe it or not, I will allways be waiting for you to be somewhat "mine".