i feel like a giving up....
nothing is making since...
waking up at night and thinking that there is some1 standing over u
or having flashes of ur first ied letting loose...
i still remember the time that i did off a guy...felt a rush but then it jsut haunts me in the end....really bad...but i need the fear...at least i still can tell that im some kinda human....wow.....im really losingit.......i gess i jsut feel like a cheat and gone...hmmm.......i do wish i was back in iraq to where i would still have fun with what i do best....i think im too scared of what i could be when im back in the civilian world....

its hard too see the person that u want to b with when ur half a world away......i do miss her......plz i hope she does relize that i want to be with her......but its jsut hard to keep it....i hope she can at least trust me even when i get to iraq......