Quote:Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error.

I've realized that alot latetly and looking back on my past expiriences and mistakes that i have made i have to say i am that idiot the only difference is that now im tryin to become a better person than what i am now even though old habits die hard it doesnt hurt to try right?... and its funny how you try to change but theres always one mistake that keeps holding you back and doesnt let you move on just when your about to correct it or its about to be corrected you fall to its temtation and you go back to commiting the same error and you become a idiot all over again or maybe you still were all along i dont know but i love it!

Quote: It`s amazing, really, just how much pain the human heart can take.

And its very true during this last couple a weeks that been going by I realize how much pain us human beings cause each other with one look a guesture or a word especially to those you love...yesterday i got in an argument with my parents and words were exchange that some of them might be regreted today as well as the last couple of days when even more words were said that were very hurtful and its amazing how much pain they cause no it may not be physically but mentally and emotionally they can be they can also be dangoures only yesterday had i really thought how bad i wanted to end my life how good it would feel to just sleep and never wake up again to worries of school, friends, parents, or someone you secretly care about...I was soo out of my mind that i reach for somethin out of the darkness in my room and took somethin that felt sharp and through my tears and pains I didnt know what i was doin taken over anger and sadness i i tried cutting my arm no i didnt do it on my wrist cuz all i wanted to feel was pain greater than the one i was feelin at the momment because i really thought it would work as i once heard one pain lessens another" as it went in cutting into my skin Its like i came back just then like wtf?? is wrong with me thats for fuckin cowards jeeze i still got a life ahead of me i still want to get wasted and have sex lol jk(partially) so i threw wat a had away and just laid back in my head feeling the pain feeling the blood flow for a bit and it did felt good a bit i have to admit but just then i hear all this voices just comin into my head sayin "kill yourself " over and over and thats were i couldnt take it i was havin a internal fight with myself and tears flowed from my eyes as i lay there helpless holding my head between my hands tryin to not think of that then i just reach again for an object to cut myself again but i get a bottle of pills sleepin pills and i take two and just lay back again tryin to shut everythin out of my mind and start thinking the happies momment in my life and as my mind wonders off and i strats gettin drowsy i go back to my winter freshman yr down by the statue were this guy is holdin me and i felt so safe and secure and...and ...happy.