I love my girlfriend There are other girls and and guys that show interest in me.my girlfriend is the first one that I acually have feelings for.Sense my first girl friend after 2 half years.I did not even love The person I was married to.

"Love is but a candle on a stormy night where the moon shines full in
bliss...flickering for a time the flame burn's brightly swaying on the
flowing currents as though a spirit through the darkness...after the
storm the candle fail's and the following night...where the shadow's
play under the absent light of the new moon...the candle stand's devoid
of flame yet the damage is already done and never again can the candle
be whole but rather continue to burn and burn, time and time again till
naught is left...so is it in life and so shall it be in death...a never
ending cycle that torment's one's soul..."

"The only Sin is belief in Sin"
~Reverand Corbin Israfael
Church of the Crimson Moon
LHP Forums

What am I suppose to do.I am sexually fustrated
Last time me and my girlfriend had sex sh freaked on me and told me to get off of her for she thought i was trying to rape her.
I have not touched her sexually sense then.
I donot want to cheat on her ,HaAAA

I want to go home. Ive dead before and am not scared of death.The unknown is what intrigues me.What I do not know I want to understand or at least comprehend.What I call home is the void being the non physical.I am tired of liveing.Suicide is out of the question because it will break the terms of why i am here.

I want to go home. Ive dead before and am not scared of death.The unknown is what intrigues me.What I do not know I want to understand or at least comprehend.What I call home is the void being the non physical.I am tired of liveing.Suicide is out of the question because it will break the terms of why i am here.

I do not feel like I am in love any more,I miss her.What the fuck is wrong with me.I love but cant show it.after my feelings get to deep i close down .Am i starting to wonder.

Our Father Who Art in Hell, Infernal Be thy name.
Thy kingdom come thy will be done on Earth as it is in Hell.
Give us this day our daily due and lead us into temptation.
For thine is the glory, the power, the kingdom,
Forever and ever,
Hail Satan!!!

Just a couple hours ago some bitch was trying to kick my ass because of the way I dress and what I am .The tall fat fuck said:what you do is wrong jesus is your savior find jesus(.I am open about being a satanist only to the ones that are close to me also on this site)Then she started yelling praise jesus at me and I told her nerver praise satan..then her mom pulled here fat ass in the car. ignorent fucks

I found out i have bad kidneys.Kidney cystick disease,An iherited disease of the kidneys.I see pics of the thay look bad.After thay go I am not going to go thru dialecis(cant spell) after my kidneys give out.This kind of sucks because now I cant have a daughter.with out passing on this early death warnt and destened to die before old age.I wanted to be with my girlfriend but ?.I can just live and dio what i am doing now.

5 weeks ago.My friend was jumped and beaten .Thay told him because he looks different.His arm is broke.HE HAD HEAD TRAUMA at least he was not bleeding out of the ears.Wanabee fucken gangturds.(large walking shits)He said he dead .He was watching his body after he was hit in the head with the stick thay where carriering(cant spell)

In Genesis and Exodus, Moses tells the story of the ‘God’ of
Abraham who is the one and only ‘God’. This doctrine is
accepted by Jews, Christians and Muslims. In the Hebrew
text, the name of ‘God’ is considered so sacred, it is
hidden, and meant to be unspoken. The most accepted
transliteration of the name of ‘God’ is YHWH. The Jehovah's
Witnesses use the more pronounceable version "Yahweh".

Is the Genesis account really the first account of the ‘God’
who Moses calls YHWH? In the book of Genesis, Terah,
Abraham's father, along with Abraham and Lot made a journey
from the city of Ur to Canaan. If YHWH is the ‘God’ of
Abraham, could it be that YHWH is also the ‘God’ of Terah? If
so, how did Terah come to worship YHWH? To answer these
questions, let's develop some background on the city of Ur.

Ur was one of the twelve cities. It survived through the
Babylonian times into Terah's time. In Sumerian mythology
each city had a patron god. The patron god of the city of
Ur was NANNA who is the heavenly moon. Later, the Semites
named NANNA as SIN.

Sumerian mythology is ancient. Scholars place the time at
around 3500 BCE to 2500 BCE. This time estimate is highly
uncertain because the astronomical and carbon dating
observations are so sketchy. If we accept this time
estimate, we can conclude that historically speaking, the
Sumerian myths are as far away from the time of Moses as we
are from the time of Moses. Many of the Sumerian myths are
inferred from cuneiform tablets. Our interpretation of
these writings is no doubt less certain than our
interpretation of modern writing or Greek manuscripts of
the gospel about Jesus Christ. In spite of these
uncertainties, these texts give us a faint clue of what
people believed so many years ago. I propose that they give
us a clue as to the genealogy of YHWH. Because of the
fragmentary state of the material, I will only refer to
portions of the myth which, in my opinion, are relevant to
YHWH's genealogy.

In Sumerian mythology there is a transcendental god named
ANU, who is considered the ‘god’ of the heavens. His wife
ANTU is at his side in their heavenly abode. Because of
their transcendental nature, ANU and ANTU generally are not
involved in day to day affairs of the world. The day to day
job is delegated to ENLIL (‘god’ of the firmament), the ‘god’
of the heavens and the earth. To compare the organization
with our modern day corporate structure, ANU would be the
Chairman of the Board, and ENLIL would be the President and
Chief Executive Officer.

ENLIL has a younger brother named ENKI (‘god’ of the earth)
whose role appears to be as chief scientist of the ‘gods’.
The EN prefix in their names classifies these ‘god’s as
having universal powers. So although they may actually be
patron ‘gods’ of some of the cities, their domain includes
all 12 cities and other areas like the heavens and the
oceans.

ENLIL is finds his mate in SUD("the nurse"). The following
cuneiform fragment describes ENLIL's desire: The shepherd
Enlil, who decrees the fates, The Bright-Eyed One, saw her.
The lord speaks to her of intercourse; she is unwilling.
Enlil speaks to her of intercourse; she is unwilling: "My
vagina is too small [she said], it knows no copulation; My
lips are too little, they know not kissing."

Different fragments show different versions of how SUD
becomes ENLIL's wife. One version implies that after
consulting with his chamberlain NUSHKU, ENLIL hatches a
plan to persuade SUD to go sailing with him. Once they were
alone in the boat away from the shore, ENLIL rapes SUD.
Later, a repentant ENLIL sends NUSHKU to find SUD and ask
her mother for the girl's hand. The mother agrees and that
is how SUD becomes the wife of ENLIL. After the marriage,
SUD's name is changed to NINLIL ("lady of the airspace").

When the ‘god’s learn of ENLIL's misdeed, he is punished (but
no detail is available). Long after the marriage, it is
discovered that the truth of the matter is that SUD was
bathing naked in the stream near the path where ENLIL takes
his daily walk on her mother's instructions, with the hope
that ENLIL will notice SUD and "forthwith embrace and kiss
you."

From this episode came NANNA the moon ‘god’, as hinted in
this dialogue from another fragment:

NINLIL: "True, Enlil is thy king, but I am thy queen."
ENLIL: "If now thou art my queen, let my hand touch thy ...
" NINLIL: "The 'water' of thy king, the bright 'water' is
in my heart, the 'water' of NANNA the bright 'water' is in
my heart." ENLIL: "The 'water' of my king, let it go toward
heaven, let it go toward the earth."

Enlil as the man of the gate lay down in the ..., He kissed
her and cohabited with her, The 'water' of ... Mestamataea
he caused to flow over (her) heart.

ENKI (the Serpent, and ‘god’ of the Earth), being the Chief
Scientist of the ‘gods’, was the actual formulator of man.
Man was needed by the ‘gods’ because they needed labor to
help produce food and other economic goods. The first
experiment was a collaboration between NINHURSAG (ENKI's
sister, and maybe wife). In the following quote from the
12th Planet: ... according to Sumerian texts, Man was
created by Ninhursag following processes and formulas
devised by Enki. She was the Chief Nurse, and one in charge
of the medical facilities; it was in that role that the
goddess was called NINTI ("lady of life").

Some Scholars read in Adapa (the model man of Enki) the
biblical Adama, or Adam. The double meaning of the Sumerian
TI also raises biblical parallels. For TI could mean both
life and rib, so that NIN.TI's name meant both "lady of
life" and "lady of the rib." The biblical Eve -- whose name
meant "life" -- was created out of Adam's rib, so Eve, too
was in a way a "lady of life" and a "lady of the rib".

As the actual "inventor" of Man, ENKI was constantly trying
to improve Man by teaching him. ENKI was also in constant
rivalry with ENLIL, who was the all powerful being.

The Hebrew god YHWH is probably NANNA, the son of ENLIL and
rival of ENKI; because observer that the Hebrew calendar is
a lunar calendar in honor of the moon ‘god’, the name YHWH is
almost YHRH which in Hebrew means "moon", and name of the
holy mountain considered to be YHWH's place is SIN.AI
meaning SIN (Semitic for NANNA) AI (place).

At this point, the reader may asking: "So what?" Well, if
SIN is the ‘God’ of Abraham, then all the stories pertaining
to NANNA in the Sumerian myths also refer to SIN. This
means that YHWH is the Sumerian god NANNA who is a
descendant of ENLIL and NINLIL. According to Sumerian and
Babylonian Myths NANNA is not the creator/formulator of
Man. As a mater of fact, ENKI and NINHURSAG who are the
creators of Man, are rivals of ENKI and NINLIL.

Moses was rewriting the Sumerian myth to turn NANNA into
the creator of Man. However, from the context of Sumerian
myth we can interpret Man's fall from grace with less
guilt. NANNA, in collaboration with ENLIL, banished Man
from the Garden of Eden because they were angry at ENKI for
teaching too much knowledge to Man (eating of the tree of
knowledge of good and evil).

Consider this in Genesis 3:22:

"And YHWH said: 'The man has now become like one of us
knowing good and evil ..."

I would say, YHWH was genuinely concerned that if ENKI
would have continued providing the lessons, Man will have
improved towards becoming just like “God”. Maybe the story
about the fall from grace is simply an account of a
political maneuvering involving pretty "heavy" hand
Iron man

I feel like shit.Almost cut my wrists last night.Its funny when you are at that piont.Every thing becomes mumbled yet clear.then a sharp pain and thats is.exclude the stingsing after a while.I accually screamed no and thru the knife.I have tears now yet i fully cant cry.I donot feel alone or out of place just dazed kind of like a dream.every thing about to day so far is surreal.

If you get more than 30 you're paranoid.
If you get 10 or less you are fearless.





WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF???





[] the dark
[] staying single forever
[] being a parent
[] being myself in front of others
[] open spaces
[] closed spaces/ heights
[] cats
[] dogs
[] birds
[] spiders and/or other insects
[] driving or being in cars
[] flying
[] flowers or other plants
[] being touched
[] fire
[] water
[] the ocean
[*] failure
[] success
[] germs
[]thunder/lightning
[]frogs/toads
[] mice/rats
[] jumping from high places
[] snow
[] rain
[] wind
[] cotton balls
[] cemeteries
[] clowns
[] large crowds
[] crossing bridges
[] death
[] Heaven
[] being robbed
[] men
[] women
[] having great responsibility
[] doctors
[] tornadoes
[] hurricanes
[] diseases
[] daylight
[] sharks
[] Friday the 13th
[] poverty
[] ghosts
[] Halloween
[] school
[] trains or railroads
[] odd numbers
[] even numbers
[] being alone
[] being blind...
[] being deaf
[] growing up
[]monsters under my bed
[] creepy noises during the night
[] bee stings
[X] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[] needles
[] blood
[] long words
[] Being kidnapped
Repost saying: "I fear2 out of 66 things

Why is my name Belthion, Belthion is a watcher deamon.He is also my guardian.A gargoyle type.He stands about 9 1.2 Feet tall for when he is hunched over hes about 6 feet.he was not use to being talked to or touched.He come to me because I was under attack. hail father  And my Gd

Some time ago.I have found out I am into bloodletting also called blood play.Most often a razor blade is used. As well as being a sexual fetish, it is often considered an expression of intimacy or bonding.Only me and my other will i do this with.

My girlfriend is being sent off,here parents and sister donot want her to live with them any more.She has to many problems .Thay donot see that thay are the fucken problem,she has been working on her self but there is no family involvment,May her father never enjoy hell. He sister is jealous of what she has in her realationships.

Suicide does not work for me After so many times of trying to commit is and you donot die. After suceeding you are saved and taken to a hospital then a mental home then there you realize you are the only sane one out of the bunch or see your self in them and end up live there for a while and fit alonge better in there than you have in the time you have been alive. but there is a time when you have to get out and live your life. 

I want to be the only one to wake up next to you.I will be by your side like your shadow not the annoying little dog that wants to be kicked around.In death I will still see you all you have to say is I LET YOU GO. No fights no asking why i will will move on

Look and see for you will never touch me.I come to you .You need me. a slut and hore after all these names you still blame yet your the one playing the game, Faithful i have been .toungue and emotion you use to abuse.You cock I an higher than you. your attemts now are like a flea with the attemt of rape on an elephant (anton lavey) I grow highter by the day you are now weak for i have all control .your toungue is now gone.you penis is now gone you useless little hore of a man you see you where nothing .You had powwer only thru me.I feared you. loser but never more hmmm get out of my site, you look like a dog thats been beaten. 

The Principal Prayer of the Yazidis
"Amen, Amen, Amen!
Through the intermediation of Shams-ad-din,
Fakh ad-Din, Nasir-ad-Din
Sajad ad-Din, Sheikh Sin (Husein),
Sheikh Bakr, Kadir ar-Rahman.
Lord, thou art gracious, thou art merciful;
Thou art God, king of kings and lands,
King of joy and happiness,
King of good possession (eternal life).
From eternity thou art eternal.
Thou art the seat of luck (happiness) and life;
Thou art lord of grace and good luck.
Thou art king of jinns and human beings,
King of the holy men (saints),
Lord of terror and praise,
The abode of religious duty and praise,
Worthy of praise and thanks.
Lord! Protector in journeys,
Sovereign of the moon and of the darkness,
God of the sun and of the fire.
God of the great throne,
Lord of goodness.
Lord. No one knows how thou art.
Thou hast no beauty; thou hast no height.
Thou hast no going forth; thou hast no number.
Lord Judge of kings and beggars,
Judge of society and of the world,
Thou hast revealed the repentance of Adam.
Lord, thou hast no house; thou hast no money;
Thou hast no wings; hast no feathers;
Thou hast no voice, thou hast no colour.
Thou hast made us lucky and satisfied.
Thou hast created Jesus and Mary.
Lord, thou art gracious,
Merciful. Faithful.
Thou art Lord; I am nothingness,
I am a fallen sinner,
A sinner by thee remembered.
Thou hast led us out of darkness into light.
Lord! My sin and my guilt,
Take them and remove them.
O God, O God, O God, Amen!

We are still together but I still want to rebound.Trying to work on my emotions.