omfg. i am so fucking jealous! i have no clue way though. i hope its not what jess said. just complicate my life even more. and i worked so hard not to be like that! gawd! i hate jealousy. it makes me a real bitch! and its like i cant tell him i am jealous. so i shall please other people other then myself, and be confined to my little thoughts. thinking that maybe one day i can acually meet a person, (preferably a guy) that i could tell that to. i mean i have like one or two guys right now, but that doesnt matter. my jealousy isnt concerning them. gawd, i am not going to be a door mat like my mother! he even started talking about her to me. smile and pretend to be so happy for him! it always works... or at least with the guys who know nothing about me. or dont even give a fucking crap! he doesnt know that he pushed me to go jump off a bridge without a bungee jackett. he doesnt know that i spent the entire day afterwards bawling my eyes out. naw. he doesnt know anything. to him i am perfectly fine. yeah! i AM fine! sure im fucked up! yeah im very insucure. dont know about nerotic though... but yes i am emotional. does he give a crap? probably not. oh shes so fantastic! oh she is the best! its like slapping me and saying "oh! she is WAY better then u will ever have and ever will be". and yes i know he isnt compleatly aware of his affect on me. i mean. we have only known each other for 3 months and 3 days. but i am so fucking jealous of her!!!!! grrr. i am acting so childish. this is no big deal. im not trying to be mean at all. i could be alot worse. but its only a matter of time before they are over. so all i have to do is act happy, and listen about how perfect she is. sure i am interested in what he sees in her. and how he acted probably around his exs when he and i went out.


hmmm.. i think i am calm. ttyl peoples

for anyone who is interested, jacob and i have broken up.

we barely come on here. so if u leave a message, be VERY patioant with us. (me)

~ Andrea