dear [Die]ry,

i know i love my boyfreing anthony [xxxdamionxxx]
and i know he loves me back,
but everytime i look at the picture of us together while im alone at home laying on my bed,
i start to cry...
i dont know why i cry but tears just stream down my face.
maybe its somthing that i lack is missing or maybe i dont know it yet but possibley i dont really love him,
i dont know what the hell is wrong with me
i just want answers to all the questions noone seems to know.
i know he loves me
and i know i love him
but than what is makin me cry when i think about him or look at our picture.
maybe its cause deep down i dont trust myself
cause i really dont know if i would cheat on him
i get urgess all the time when im having fun with one of my guy freinds. i dont want to cheat on him but i honestly dont know if i will.
i cant live with my self like this i dont want to hurt him like iv been hurt.
i hurt him enoph all the time without cheating on him,
i dont know how bad or what he would do if i ever did cheat on him
i love him too much to do that to him
somtimes i want to leave him so that i dont take that chance of hurtin him like that.
but when it comes to the point where i think i can leave him the words just wont escape from my lips cause i know i would hurt him too and i would hurt my self just as bad
im only livin for him
for [USA sucks!] [ashley + anthony = love for ever and after and for always]
[Happly Ever After]
without him i wouldov already done did kill myself.
..... without him i would die
i dont have anythin holding my back from death than him. [my one true love]
[for ever and after]
[ i love him ]
....... [ but i dont know how to leave him]


i want to break up with him so i dont hurt him by cheatin on him, but if i break up with him

[.... i'll hurt him either way]

[WHAT CAN I DO]
[I CANT GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS!]

[SAVE ME]
[................]