Sometimes we get a little sassy too...


"Speed..."
Author - [Orestez]


Customer: "How fast will my COM ports go?"
Tech Support: "How hard can you throw your computer?"



"Don't..."
Author - [Orestez]


 Customer: "When I touch the sound card board at the back of my PC, I can feel electric current."
Tech Support: "Then don't touch it."




"Please don't yell, it's not going to help"
Author - [Big Brother]


Member:guy comes on yelling

Tech:may i get your User ID?

Member:he yells it

Tech:please stop yelling, i can't hear what you are saying (i had to be nice till i got the ID so i could log a ticket

Member:yells some more

After 5 tries i manage to get it, he has 2 open tickets with Bell techs working on the issue, 2 supervisor calls and 5 times where he hung up

Tech:Sir, i see you have phoned in a few times today and that you have 2 groups of techs working on the issue

Member:*still yelling* but it's not fixed

Tech:it takes 72 hours for it to be fixed as tech have to find the issue first
Member:*lets just say he never stops* i want it done tomarow

Tech:sorry but it takes 24 hours alone of testing before the issue is found, the next 24-48 hours is when the techs fix what they find

Member:i don't care i want it fixed tomarow or i'll cancelle my service

Tech:if that is what you want i'll give you the number to cancelle and another ISP that will love to have you yell at them

Member: not good enough, i want it fixed tonight!

Tech:it will take 72 hours

Member:are you even listening to me

Tech:it will take 72 hours

Member:what is your full name

Tech:it will take 72 hours

after i repeat the same thing for about five minutes line goes dead......wonder why.

i could have gotten it looked at faster or maybe at least give him some info on what is wrong and explain things...




"Do it again."
Author - [RedMoon]


- It was about 10 minutes in to this call that I realized that the customer was totally uncooperative; He refused to follow instructions, simply denied that anything worked, and made up error messages when asked for them. -

Tech: Alright. We're going to try downloading the software, since 'apparently' the other installation methods aren't working.

Customer: Well fine, but this better work.

Tech: Can you please type this address in your address bar. (Gives address)

Customer: Yeah, it didn't work.

Tech: ... Really.

Customer: Yup.

Tech: What does it say?

Customer: Nothing.

Tech: I see. Type it again, please.

Customer: Ok. ... It didn't work.

Tech: Do it again.

Customer: Fine. It didn't-

Tech: Do it again.

(This repeats about five more times)

Customer: It's still not-

Tech: Do it again.

Customer: ... Alright, it's working now.

Back to: Tech Support Nightmares