Author: [Amalaswinta], July 2002


Understanding


Spoken words: ********
Thoughts: [**********]


“what do you want from me?”

“what I want can’t be... [I want to cuddle up close to you, I want to stroke your hair, I want to kiss your lips, I want to let you know how beautiful you really are, how special...]”

“what do you mean *can’t be*?”

“what I really want will never happen, I know that much, so I’ll settle for less... [if only you didn’t have a family, I’d take my chances, I’d risk our friendship, I’d risk anything just to hold you...]”

“less? What could you possibly want that is more than friendship???”

[“why can’t you see... I want so much more than friendship...] I don’t know. Do you consider me a... [(special) ]...friend?”

“I like you, yes. I suppose I could consider you ‘a friend’ [why won’t she just speak her thoughts, it’s not like they’re a big secret...]”

“and that’s all we’ll ever be... ‘friends’ [except in my dreams, I’ll have what I want in my dreams...] I can live with that... I want us to be friends.. [even though we’re not ‘special’ friends...] as long as you can live with me needing you to touch me every now and then”

“touch you?”

“[oh no, I scared her away now] No, not what you think. I know you could never do that. Just a touch between friends. A stroke on the cheek, a pat on the back [even if that’s all I ever get from you I’ll manage to be around you... I want to be around you, you’re incredible...]”

“I think I can live with that...”

“then, would you mind holding me close? [If only for a moment...] I promise I’ll keep my hands to myself... [I have my dreams. I’ll have what I want in my dreams...]”




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