Me(physically), myself(menally), and I(spiritually)
5/9/06 1:15-30am
These are my three
And sometimes they all can disagree
One subject to another
They argue with eachother
Until they have a battle begun
Or one loses interest in the fun
This can go on for hours
Lasts until an opinion is left devoured
Me, myself, physically can say, 'No way'
While me, myself, mentally can say, 'This is the way'
Of course this brawl never ends
Until me, myself, spiritually's message, she sends
'No this is the right way', a direction unseen
Perhaps the only way with a path pure and clean
Of course me, myself, mentally disagrees in this way,
'How do you really know this is the correct way?'
'I follow my heart, for I know it knows best.
No one can tell me, what it is here, to be left rest',
Spiritually replies in such a way
That only another spirtiually can see and say,
'This is correct, let it be but nothing else'
But whom is to listen, but me, and myself
There is but one who doesn't care me, myself, physically
But everyone else knows she makes it hurt mentally
So perhaps this discussion ends, right here and right now
For nothing but this, could go on and on like rythematic sound
Stopping it now, with this dull, thin, blade
I slash across those small blue veins
Stopping the rant inside my head
So perhaps tonight, I could just get to bed
"What does one do when there heart aches deep inside?"
5/13/06
When the heart you dwell hurts deep inside
There is a secret left behind the eye
Look close, for then you will see
What this cruel would will hold for thee
Find your soul and keep it close
Never let the one you live for pose
As something you cannot live without
If they leave you, you will see, no doubt
How much of hell you would really be
When your heart is aching with love to see
Careful with your choice to be
No one else but you can see
Be honest to yourself when you ache inside
Let no harm come to what answers you may find.
Suicide of the Masochistic Lier
5/26/06 at 9:15am-10:52am
Wandering, feeling the taste of life
Watching as you hold the blade of the knife
Walking on the edge of what is known to be yours
Sweat, now draining from your pours
What is known to be right?
Good, humaine, spirited, or bright?
You felt for the evil hand and
Bit down on the finger as it came into your land
It's curse upon your very soul, nothing like it ever told
Touching and grabbing hold
Like you never did before
WHAT ELSE COULD LIFE HAVE IN STORE!?
{Chorus}
It is a hard-grasping, pointless, game
Much like that of a good video game
Only once you're fucked, you can't restart.
And you always have to give it your heart
It wraps it's sick, twisted, lies around your neck
Choking you with no remorse, and given no respect
You lie into it's self, wait, watch, and see
And hope, it will let you be free
It sences your once again lies
Secret motives, hidden thoughts, it cries
And begins to harp into your inner being more so than ever before
Scratching, thrashing, and ripping you apart at the core
A normal person would be crying for death
But no, you.... you crave it like a meth.
Will you now tell the truth, or continue on,
Even when you know it means your death later on
Sorowful, lost and down about everything.
One, swift, deep cut, could sever eveything
Nothing truly matters!
Not anymore, WHEN EVERYTHING SEEMS TO SHATTER!
{Chorus}
It is a hard-grasping, pointless, game
Much like that of a good video game
Only once you're fucked, you can't restart.
And you always have to give it your heart
Your bitter words come out only to be apathetic,
Nothing ever to be said heartful or sympathetic
Not again, the blade slips
Never another word spoken, your lips
Dry-sealed tight in a hope you would one day survive
You will never tell anyone what aches on the inside
It was all just a dream you continually said
Lying to yourself as you lay in bed
“Nothing; none of this is real.”
“Why is it, this cut, I can’t feel.”
But oh so is only what you thought,
You’ll keep drinking, not a plan to stop
everyone else was right,
You can’t take it all night
Today was just a bad day
And you let it show, in not such a good way
(SEE THIS LAST BIG FUCK UP!)
{Chorus}
It is a hard-grasping, pointless, game
Much like that of a good video game
Only once you're fucked, you can't restart.
And you always have to give it your heart
Where were you but in the ashes of disgrace?
All alone, in your own little space
There you sat, and there you thought.
Pondering on what was real and what was not,
Lying about the past and unrequitted hopes on the future.
Now fallen to the ground, your mind a stupor
It was only life you were after
And he is not your master
It was only destruction you will face
FOR BEING SUCH A DISGRACE!
{Chorus}
It is a hard-grasping, pointless, game
Much like that of a good video game
Only once you're fucked, you can't restart.
And you always have to give it your heart
Here it is,
And this is your end.
Did you really think those last minutes would be great to spend?!
Watch me as I throw away this last drop
Your blood already won't stop
But what does it really matter,
You're already dead, the world, it won't shatter.
WHEN YOU'VE DIED INSIDE YOUR OWN HEAD!
One Trip Too Far
5/27/06 6:49pm
Falling fast, hitting hard
All these images leave my mind scarred
Scattered, lost, and breathing in deep
Losing control, a cut too deep
Gun shots, ambulence, and loud music too
These few things never come unglued
Drink the acholol, and hold it close
The clock strikes 12, five minutes post
Watch the floor, as it moves
It's coming fast, now watching the news
See the image, from the top
As all your friends, begin to drop
Feel the weakness rise
And the drungs give their prise
Gripping your sad broken heart,
As it gives one last pointless start
Laying there, stunned, amused and restless
You take another needle, against your arm you press
Shoving it in hard, desprate for something more
Forgetting about all the happiness you had before
Nothing but a dream, the pain you feel
Now melting away into a soft warm heat, fate sealed
Just a Poem
6/6/06 12:12pm
Just another May
Just another time to say
I wish this would show you, it may
Just another frozen hour
Just another mood gone sour
I can only try, though I have no power
Just another feeling
Just another something; appealing
I am losing focus now on the ceiling
Just another thought
Just another price un-bought
I am finding a motive, lost, but now sought
Just another strand
Just another moment so grand
I find no time, not with my short attention span
Just another song
Just another second, so long
I find no rythem, just a resounding gong
Just another drink
Just another heart, fall and sink
I have no real purpose to think
Just anothe job
Just another worthless sob
I can't see a point to the meaningless mob
Just another day
Just another small pay
I am still worn out from yesterday
Just another trend
Just another time to spend
I say, no one knows a real friend
Perhaps just a poem with no true end
A Bloodshed Romance
6/08/05
"Will we get up, or stay here 'till dawn?"
"Does it matter, I think I'm already gone"
"This may be true, but know I tripped,
When you did that last flip...
Your foot went up and you hands down
I was laughing. You looked like a clown."
"Yeah, something like that was how it happened
Now, I'm here, aching in pain, grieving-and"
"And? So am I, you took me out too you know...
Damn, and now I'm going to miss the first show"
"I think what happened was the show, my best act,
As that metal pole went right through my back"
"Through your back and into my stomache and side
As your foot and mine, they did colide...
That stupid cord, and stupid me
Swept me up and I turned to see...
What was it that happened, how had this come to be
As the blood now trickles down from benieth me"
"This is not your fault, stop the false blame
You know, it was only a small game..."
"But nothing will ever be the same!"
"Stop! Or you'll pass out from the pain"
"Why don't you realize, why can't you see?"
"Maybe I'm too distracted now that you're with me"
"I'm sorry but with this last goodbye,
-I do really hate for you to see me cry..."
"Goodbye, so soon, where do you think you're going?
You have got to stop this blood from flowing"
"I can't, you see, it would be worse then, if I move..."
"Just one last kiss then, that way you'll sooth"
"Melt me away into the abyss of nothingness
As I slip on this pole, pain, forever into lonliness"
Not lonliness, for I must admit, I cannot feel
No longer this pole, a memory lost, like a letter sealed
Our fate here, this is it. It's near"
"Speak of it no more, my dear, I fear
For how much blood and tears must I shed before the end
And to you, this memory, I send
One last kiss, for you, my love"
"May we forever live in that heavenly land my love
I shall hold you until
That last moment grows still"
[#]
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