[waiting]

I sit alone in the darkness.
Waiting.
Waiting for him to come back to me.
Can he hear my cries?
Can he feel my tears?
Can he sense my breaking heart?
God only knows such a fact.
How can this be that he can't see me?
Is it because I'm sitting alone in the darkness?
I just walk past everyone as if I were invisible.
Can he see me now?
Can he see the pain he's caused me?
Or does he just look past it?
I think I should move on, but something tells me to wait.
It's my heart.
I pray for one last chance.
I pray his love for me to return.
Why can't he see who I really am?
Just because he didn't love the person I was, doesn't mean he can't love the person I am now.
I pray for only one last chance.
I know I can make it work this time.
I return to sit alone in the darkness.
Waiting.
Waiting for him again.

*Help Me Understand*

Why do i do the things i do
and say the things i say
Why do i hurt others
day by day by day
It's not like i mean to
its not like i try
The last thing i was
is to make others cry
So why do i hurt you
when i love you with all my heart
and why do i push you away
When i cry if we're apart
Oh God, please help me
make me understand
Why do i make enemies
in every single friend
Please tell my why
so i can make it right
Why instead of loving
do i choose to fight?

Thirst for Revenge

Tainted by your love
gotta rise above
can't keep going through this pain.

Torn by your kiss
I can't take much more of this
I pray it'ss be over soon.

Run home and cry
they're all askin why
can't you all just leave me alone?

Hate in old scars burn
now it is my turn
this is my thirst for revenge.

[Throught My Eyes]

Through my eyes
everything is grey.
Things become complicated
day by day.
How do i fix
this mess that i'm in?
How many times do i run
Till i finally win?
Everyday i run my race.
And every tear falls down my face.
Tears may fall
and run i may.
But why does everyday
end in dismay?

~Survival~

As long as you're alive
you have the right to survive.
Choose your battles
choose them well.
Keep on fighting
even when its hell.
Push yourself
make a stand
Do the very
best you can.
Live your life
live it for you.
And you'll survive
You'll make it through.


We all want to be remembered for something. And I was thinking,how can I be remembered?And then I suddenly realized. You can do it on a daily basis. Like yesterday, I saw a little boy eating an ice cream and I smashed it into his face!! I leaned in at him and I said "YOU REMEMBER ME FOREVER!" and I ran away.And you know when he is 50 he will tell his grandkids, "One day,a man ran up to me. I did not know this man. He smashed my treat into my eyes, and he pionted at me and said 'F&%# REMEMBER ME FOREVER!!"


Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever...


FIrst of all, i haven't written in months. i've felt so uninspired for the past months. I've been going in and out of depression about my ex for a while now and the other day i broke down and told him i loved him still. Now, not only does he still not care, i became inspired. So u hope u guys like this but it's not finished. I'll keep updatin it till its finished!

I never meant to make you mad
I can't take back the life I had.
Can't change the person I was before
Why can't you see I'm so much more?
The more to you I try to prove
The farther away you seem to move.
The more I seem to try and try
The more you make me want to cry.
Everyday I shed these tears
And hope one day you will come near.
I wish you could see me for me
Instead you just refuse to see.

One of the 1st poems i've written in ALONG time. I kno it sounds corny but i was pretty upset when i wrote it and just wanted to get it all out! Hope you like!

I don’t know why
I break down and cry
I’ve tried for so long
I’ve realized I was wrong.
I’ve loved you for so long
I can’t do this anymore
Strangers say I still look sore
I stare into the stars at night
My heart overflows with cold fright.

How have I started this
My cheerful happy self I miss
All I know is this much is true
My heart cries out, I still love you.


{I love this song! This is me n my girl Kayla's song! But it also describes how i feel in many instances.}

I don’t like to be alone in the night
And I don’t like to hear I’m wrong when I’m right
And I don’t like to have the rain on my shoe
But I do love you, but I do love you
I don’t like to see the sky painted gray
And I don’t like when nothing’s going my way
And I don’t like to be the one with the blues
But I do love you, but I do love you
Love everything about the way you’re loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
I don’t like to turn the radio on
Just to find I missed my favorite song
And I don’t like to be the last with the news
But I do love you, but I do love you
Love everything about the way you’re loving me
The way you lay your head
Upon my shoulder when you sleep
And I love to kiss you in the rain
I love everything you do, oh I do
And I don’t like to be alone in the night
And I don’t like to hear I’m wrong when I’m right
And I don’t like to have the rain on my shoes
But I do love you but I do love you
But I do love you but I do love you



"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you NOT to be? We are born to make manifest, the glory of God that is within us and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."

The Next Girl

The next girl you meet
you'll fall head over heels for
she'll be beautiful and smart
she'll be someone you adore

You'll love her and care
and do anything for her
you guys will be as happy
as you and I once were

I hope she breaks your heart
and does the same thing you did to me
then maybe, just maybe
you'll understand what before you didn't see


Untitled

The man at the window,
What is he looking for?
Is it something simple,
Or is it so much more?

Is it a friend,
Or someone that has pasted?
Was it a love that was suppose to last?

Is it his smile,
Or the laughter within?
Will this turn to a journey soon to begin?

Is it a friend or a smile
Or just simply a bit of joy?
Or does he just dream of times as a boy?

Whatever he seeks
I hope he will find.
And I hope that he reaches
That peaceful state of mind.



I'm not very good at these things but here goes. My names Courtney and I just turned 17. It really doesn't feel any different from 16 except that i'm that much closer to 18 and to buying my own cigarettes. I'm afraid it still won't feel any different. I do have a job, i'm not a lazy bum that just sits on my ass. It's actually funny I say that seeing how thats exactly what i'm doing right now. Anyway, i work at Wendy's and i have to say i have NEVER had so much fun at a job! I love my job and most the people there. Well, that's it for now, i'll put more up when i become a member!

Peace~