*NEW* Gunny joke: Gunny grinds coffee beans with his teeth and boils the water with his rage.

Waterdawg's pictures

Detail of a Marine: Marines come in all shapes, shades, weights, sizes, and states of sobriety, misery, and confusion. He is sly as a fox, has the nerve of a dope addict, the stories of an old sailor, the sincerity of a politician, and the subtly of Mt. Saint Helen. He is extremely irresistible, totally irrational and completely indestructible. A Marine is a Marine all his life. He is a magical creature. You can kick him out of your house but not out of your heart. You can take him off your mailing list but not off your mind. Marines are found everywhere... in love...in battle... in lust... in trouble...in debt...in bars and ... behind them. No one can write so seldom and yet think so much of you. No one else can get so much enjoyment out of a letter or clean clothes or a six pack. A Marine is a genius with a deck of cards. A millionaire without a cent and brave without a grain of sense. He is the PROTECTOR OF AMERICA, with the latest copy of playboy in his back pocket. When he wants something it's usually 30 days leave, music that hurts the ears, a five dollar bill...or a woman he can count on. Girls love them, mothers tolerate them, fathers brag about them, the government pays them, the police watch out for them and somehow they all work together. You can beat their bodies but not their minds. You can tame their hearts but not their souls. He likes girls, females, women, ladies, and the opposite sex. He dislikes small checks, working weekends, answering letters, eating chow, waking up, maintaining a uniform, and the day before payday. You may as well give in. He is your long distance lover...he is your steel eyed, warm smiling, blank minded, hyperactive, over reacting, curious, passive, talented spontaneous, physically fit, good for nothing bundle of worry... And will always be there for you regardless of how long its been since you've last talked


" Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near, hold out baits to entice him, feign disorder....
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then crush him"


I'm the Goddess of Warfare at Gods of Elfpack


Jokes about the Gunny:
1) Gunny doesn't teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them
2) Gunny destroyed the periodical table of elements because Gunny only believes in one element: the element of surprise
3) The Grim Reaper is too scared to tell Chuck Norris he's dead yet...it was Gunny that killed him
4) 95% of the women Gunny has sex with gets a concussion, the other 5% have an orgasm.
5) The giraffe was created when Gunny upper-cutted a horse.
6)Gunny gets more pussy then cervical cancer.



These things are seriously starting to get on my nerves. I WILL RESPOND LIKE I HAVE TO THE FOLLOWING. I don't care if your feelings get hurt or if I'm your friend. Get over it. In fact, you should THANK ME for making you realize [what a looser you are for posting this up.]

If you had me alone, locked up in your room for 24 hours, and I had to do whatever you wanted me to do, what would you do with me?
[<---I'd punch you in the face is what I'd do]

F~ You're ugly and you suck at life. Literally.
D~ You're an ass. Go jump off a cliff.
C- ~ You're just someone I don't want to talk to, okay?
C ~ You're okay looking, I guess, but definetly not the best.
C+ ~ You're, meh, the "average joe". Kind of boring yes?
B- ~ Hey you're kind of cool. You're kind of cute too.
B ~ You're cute. And you're a pretty interesting person.
B+ ~ Pretty damn attractive and cool too.
A- ~ You're extremely attractive, and you're awesome. Go you.
A ~ REALLY hot, I want you here now. Let's get it on.
A+ ~ GORGEOUS... FUCK ME NOW!!

---FFFF+++++ How insecure are you that you need to have you friends rate you on your looks anyways? If you don't know how attractive you are and think you're ugly, chances are
YOU ARE AN UGLY DISFIGURED ALIEN BUTT. Who said anything about Plastic Surgery....what you need is a WRECKING BALL.

1.Who are you?
[-None of your fuckn business, who the hell are you?]
2. Are we friends?
[- You're annoying and stupid for posting this up, I don't want to be your friend]
3. When and how did we meet?
[-We will never meet because you posted this on the internet so a million strangers can look at your stupid list of questions]
4. Do you have a crush on me?
[-No, your fat and disfigured. That probably isn't even your real picture]
5. Would you kiss me?
[-I'd rather swallow rat poison]
6. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
[- Butt-picker, cuz your stupid]
7. Describe me in one word.
[-retarded]
8. What was your first impression?
[-you're a pathetic waste of human life. You should kill yourself.]
9. Do you still think that way about me now?
[-Even more so. Here, have a knife.]
10. What reminds you of me?
[-Barf]
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
[- ㅗId give you herpes. You should die.]
12. How well do you know me?
[-More then I want to]
13. When's the last time you saw me?
[-In HELL!! *MUAHAHAHAH*]
14. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
[-G-d, you're ugly. I wanted to tell you that you're a smelly butt-picker and you're a looser for putting this up.]
15. Did you message me just because of how i look?
[-I messaged you because you need to get a LIFE]
16. If i had something stuck in my teeth would you tell me?
[-No, I'd laugh at you. And maybe point.]
17. Do you smoke?
[-No, but you're making me want to start.]
18. Could you keep a secret?
[-About you being a smelly butt-picker?]
19. What's your fav color?
[-My favorite color is watching the blood drain from yourpathetic body]
20. Would You ever date me?
[-I'd rather fuck a goat.]
21. Are you going to post this up and see what I say about you?]
[--No because I'm not STUPID. Your blatant lack of intelligence is highly amusing.]

Ask me 6 questions, no matter what, and I have to answer them for you
[1)Why did you even bother to do this?
2)When you were concieved, why didn't you choke yourself out with the umbilical cord?
3) Do you want people to ask questions about you because you've got nothing better to do then talk about yourself all fuckin day?!?
4) Are you posting this up in a pathetic cry for attention because you're mother never hugged you as a child?
5) Have you considered the purpose of your life?
6) Maybe you don't have a purpose. Maybe you're a MISTAKE. Maybe you should shoot yourself. Have you ever considered that!?!?]

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"What does the week you were born say about you?" with the result The Week of the Literalist - Virgo 3 September 11-18.
You persist on getting your way and you are a willful individual, you are angered by irrationality, but are able to hide your emotions well. You do not like public displays of emotion even though you feel emotion deeply. You dislike phoniness and pretension. You like people to be who they really are to be truthful to themselves. You do not like trouble or unpleasantness. You can be highly dramatic, and seek to uncover truth and reveal it to the world. You can be fearless and courageous in confronting social mores but remain calm when it is not concerning your passions. You expect the very best for yourself in a relationship and can be demanding, although affectionate and caring. You are able to easily face and overcome obstacles. Strengths: Composed – Nurturing – Capable Weaknesses: Sensationalistic – Judgmental – Ruthless .

Sheryl just took the "what breed of dog are you" quiz and the result is Pit Bull.

Your gentle and loving if handled with respect, but if some crosses you they can expect to get put in there place