If your under 16, dont even attempt to speak to me, because you wont get an answer.




Self Interview:
Interveiwer Lance-before we start i would just like to say, you are very sexy.


Lance-oh thank you, i know many people tell me that all the time, im used to it.


Interviewer Lance-well im glad about that, so lets get this started, the first questions are more basic so people can get to know you better.


Lance-ok well lets get started, i dont have all day.


Interviewer Lance-ok first question: whats your name?


Lance-.....are you serious?


Interviewer Lance-sure, the people want to know.


Lance-well if the people havent figured that one out yet, then those dumbasses dont deserve to know.


Interviewer Lance-hmmm good answer, if i do say myself, ok next question: what are your interests?


Lance-ok now we are cooking, im into playing guitar, and skateboarding, mostly, but other than that i like driving around town, playing drums, and playing vigy games.


Interviewer Lance-wait did you say vigy?


Lance-yea why, whats the problem?


Interviewer Lance-what the hell is vigy games?


Lance-oh c'mon you cant tell me you have never heard of vigy games? dumbass i swear, you know V-I-D-E-O games? vigy games...


Interviewer Lance-...ok then next question: what are your favorite colors?


Lance red and black. but mostly red.


Interviewer Lance-alright, now we are going to get into more interesting questions: what do you look for in a girl?


Lance: ewww tough question, but ill give it a try, i like dark hair, good personality, likes to joke around, of course they have to be sexy, i dont much care for boobs, really all they are is something for a baby to feed off of, what else, they have to be at least my heighth or shorter, dont want anyone too tall, i dont want a preppy girl, thats not right, like a disease, preppiness, and last but certainly not least, they cant be afraid to talk about serious issues, especially the ones at hand, if there is an issue, whether it good or bad, it is a good thing to talk about it, not avoid it.


Interviewer Lance-great answer, ok heres another one: have you ever been to jail, or committed a misdeamenor?


Lance-actually yes, i have been to jail before for possesion of marijuana and tobacco, and had to do community service once for possesion of tobacco, see i was at school, at lunch, with a couple friends, smoking on the side of the school, and the principles came up and saw me smoking, but no one else, and when they asked who was smoking, bbefore my friends could say they were i took all the blame, snuck the cigarettes out of my friends hand and went to the office with all the blame on my back, and they left my friends with a warning.


Interviewer Lance-well glad you were honest: what is your favorite tv show?


Lance-none.


Interviewer Lance-what?


Lance-none, i hate tv, and everything about it, all it does is manipulate your mind, into thinking you need something other than yourself to survive, subliminal messages have been found in every form of commercial even today, therefore i dont watch it, damn government.


Interviewer Lance-o......k......: what do you want to do once your old enough to get off your lazy ass and go get a job?


Lance-i want to be a motorcycle mechanic. make my own shop with a friend that wants to be an auto mechanic, and make some serious cash.


Interviewer Lance-well thats recreational, last question: will you talk to anyone who messages you?


Lance-sure why not, just dont be an asshole, if you do, your just wasting the presious gas in your fat head, that you need to survive, i wont listen, unless your nice, so be nice, have fun, talk to me about peanut butter, hell anything will do, well you said last question so, get back in my head and bother me another day, just dont let the crazy one loose, next time your in town, that wouldnt be good.


Interviewer Lance-i hear you, since i am you, i know exactly what your talking about, well untill next time, im Lance Smith, and this has been an interesting conversation with myself, thank you and good night everyone!



I apologize for that......i know this wasnt the person they were saying htey were, and had to intentionally make fun of them...once again, i am truley, truley sorry....heheh hardy har!