How Bob Got Hairy by [
~altopia~]
This is just a little poem,
and by all means, not scary,
It tells a twisted tale of sorts,
about how Bob got hairy…
It started after gym one day,
when Bob was still at school,
He looked around at the other guys,
the ones that made girls drool…
Then he looked down at his chest,
and noticed what was missing...
He had no hair!!! "I see," he cried...
"That's why I'm not worth kissing!"
He left that room that fateful day,
and climbed onto his bike,
he rode as quickly as he could...
(quite slowly, as he rode a trike),
He'd heard there was a sorceress,
she lived above their town,
he thought that she might help him out,
with his problematic downy down...
He arrived at last to a gloomy cave,
he poked his head inside...
he called, "hello, is anyone home?
I'm exhausted from my ride...”
A beautiful sorceress appeared,
she looked him up and down,
She looked him down, and up again...
and then she had to frown...
"I thought you were a man," she sighed
"it's lonely here you know,
but you are just a hairless boy...
Oh, woe is me, oh woe..."
"I'm no boy!" Bob declared,
"I'm really quite the man,
I came up here to see you,
so please help me if you can...”
"I want some hair like the other men,
I'll prove to you I'm strong,"
Bob got down on his girly knees,
To serenade her with a song.
"Stop it, stop it!!!!" She declared,
"your singing is quite bad,
You really are a sorry state...
Oh please, don't look sooo sad."
"I'll help you if you promise to me,
you'll never sing again,"
She cast a spell that made Bobs chest
all hairy like a man...
"There is a catch", the sorceress said,
above her delighted grin,
"your hair will get more hairy,
each and every time you start to sing."
Bob thanked her, and got on his trike,
He couldn't wait to see,
he's brand new manly, hairy chest,
which best of all... Was free...
He looked into the mirror
and in happiness he sang,
"Naa, naa, na, na, naa...
Who's a hunky man?!"
But then alas, as he'd been warned,
that hair began to grow,
It grew and grew each time he sang,
And it's still growing... Don't you know????