Can someone just kill me now? I mean what the fuck?!?! my boyfriend always goes to his ex girlfriend when ever he's in trouble...why doesnt he come to me? I'm his girlfriend now and he gave me a fucking promise ring and told me to my face that he loved me? Should i cut my loses now or talk to him about it?
I love him...and i miss him to the point where it hurts, but i'm tired of him going to this chick when i'm his girlfriend now...
I dont know what to do...i guess i'll just have to deal with this too.
ok...so lets see....
My boyfriends grounded for hell knows how long. So i cant see or talk to him...and i dont even know why he is grounded. Here's the slap in the face...i've only seen him once this summer...and as fun as it was...it also wasnt fun because needless to say, it was stressful because we were at a party and then we got so lost on the way home that we were half an hour away from rhode island. So yeah....fun yet not.
School is going to start soon and a shit load of drama is going to finally unfold and i'm going to have to deal with it all even though i'm not fucking involved in any of it....what the fuck.
My friend is leaving for collage on sunday and her life ended as she knows it because she had to break up with her boyfriend because he's leaving to go to rehab for drugs, her paretns now know that he was into drugs and she isnt allowed any contact with him until he is clean. And ontop of that her great grandfather died. And here is the other slap in the face, i used to have feelings for her (yes i'm bi if you dont like then go die and dont talk to me.) and so we still have a strong connection and now she is basically my sister and i may not get to say goodbye to her when she leaves.
My mom has decided to be uber bitch and now she's just god damn annoying.
I woke up crying last night and didnt get very good sleep after...that hasnt happened in a very long time...not since i was being abused every fucking day.
Oh....and my past is catching up to me and old memories are re-surfacing..
And i'm in such emotional pain that it has litterally become physical pain that i cant get rid of and the only thing , or rather, only person that can get rid of it, i cant see for hell knows how long.....
so yeah.....and if you read all of this....you must really be curious, or care (likely i hope) or the most likely out of all three....you are just bored out of you fucking mind.
Either way, later peeps.
What happens when you cant be saved anymore? What happens when your supposed "destiny" or "fate" has been written for you by someone else? What happens when you find out everything and everyone was all a lie? That you were nothing but a little puppet that was controlled by those who claimed to love you? What happens when you finally stand up for yourself, and then they desert you because you no longer believe them, no longer allow yourself to be controlled?
What happens when you try so hard to reach for something, for someone, call for them, call for their help....but they dont come? What happens when all have deserted you..left you to die, and those who you loved, those who you thought loved you...leave you after they said they would always be there?
Do you just let yourself fall....Do you catch yourself?
What if you cant save yourself or protect yourself? What if those who you thought loved you, turned out to be stronger then you so they decide to do what ever it takes to crush you?
What if no one will protect you?
What if the only person (s) that could halp you, save you, protect you, no longer cared?
You say fuck that. You try to find your own way....but what happens when/if you fall?
*sigh*
You are left for dead, left to die. Left to fade into nothing, left to disappear and become nothing forever more.
Forever a Fallen Angel, Forever a Weeping Rose, Forever Nothing, Forever Forgotten, Forever Ignored, Forever Dead, Forever Nothing, Forever More.
Ignore this...This is what happens when i've gotten little sleep and am stressed.
There is no end to be found in this world.
Sleep, my beloved.
Your life goes on.
You were born, and you lived.
You will tell the song of hope, won't you?
For eternity.
Offer up these tears,
The words of a new love.
Thank you, days of bliss within my dreams.
I thank the fact that we met here.
For eternity.
-Requiem-Inori
Sorry i havent been on in a while. I've been really busy lately and a lot of things keep going on so i dont have time to come on that often. Sorry guys. But with all the bad things going on...i still have my boyfriend so i'm happy.