I hate how everything is turning out right now. I'm suppose to be super happy that I'm almost done with Job Corps but all what it is doing to me is bringing me pain. I'm not ready to be out on my ownt yet. I just want to go back to high school and think about what I want from life. I want something thats alittle different from what I have now, Im just not sure what that is. I love my boyfriend alot but I'm not ssure if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Why must life be so hard how come it can't be like when we were little and if things got tough u colored or u just hang out with ur friends. I really don't want the 28th to come up it makes me sad. I don't want anything to make me sad. I'm tired and done with being sad so no more.

hehe it's me!! I have a few days to get one senior project done and then all of spring break to do my second one but every-time I try and work on it I get sidetracked, just like right now suppose to be working on it but I just can't seem to want to type about photography I just want to take pictures -pouts- wish I didn't like photography as much as I do cause I just want pictures now see it would be a whole different story if I didn't know anything at all but I know a lot about it now. What is a Senior Girl to do? I know not get sidetracked by anything haha this is me we're talking about.... okay no need to agree with me... jk jk...

Death

Almost all my life I had always had someone that died. The first one that I remember was my Little Sister Rebecca the baby of our Family. She died when she was 2. SHe had so much to live for. The Worse part of it is I never got to see my little sister getting put down into the ground so I could say my last goodbye forever. The person who was supposed to take me out there thought a little girl didn't need to see her baby sister get put into the ground where she will stay forever more. I try to make it out there on her birthday to with her a Happy Birthday and I tell her how much I miss her and love her. I know that where are supposed to be strong for those around us but I couldn't not after losing two really close people to me in the past two years I think. I don't like it when my friends see me cry because I fell really weak. I know I shouldn't feel weak cause it's emotion but I just can't help myself I think I'm getting used to Death in my Family. The most recent Death was of my Great Aunt Beverly. I was really close to her. I really miss her alot but not more than my sister Rebecca. Me and my aunt where close when we lived in Anchorage she would come on the weekends and take me with her and uncle Alan to either go shopping or go eat lunch. Me and uncle Alan still talk. The first day back from Juneau I called him to see how he was doing he was doing great I told him I got onto the Honor roll no high honor roll but honor roll non the less. He said" your aunt would be very proud of you" I said I know.