my baby's most recent pic. It's just the top of his head, and all his hair. But it's still one of his pictures. The only one I got because he was hiding his face. :)
15 Days Left!!!

3 weeks left! Getting really anxious... but glad time is taking forever, cuz it's giving me more time to get the room ready for my baby. He's been eating lots lately... I've been eating 2 of just about everything... 2 bowls of cereal, 2 apples, 2 sandwiches @ lunch, 2 bowls of popcorn, 2 plates of dinnner, and a huge bowl of ice cream... that was today alone! I should feel really fat from all that eating, but I don't, and I know it's cuz baby's been eating most of it.

I will have another ultrasound picture up of my baby boy!
It's only a pic of his head of hair, but it's the only picture for now. 5 Weeks Left!!! I can't wait... the only part I don't like is the hot weather right now. :D

Well, Everything is doing fine, I am going in tuesday for my ultrasound, and I still need to clean my room more. I now have lots of diapers, will be getting several blankets, more clothes, and lots of other stuff from family and friends. I will only have to buy diapers and baby food when it comes to that time.
My son is already spoiled!!!

My baby is doing fine, I get to have another ultrasound on the 6th. I'll try to get some more pictures. Until then I need to take it easy other than my appointments that I need to go to.

My OB/GYN is pretty sure it's a boy, but need to go to the hospital to get another ultrasound done to double check.

PICTURES!!!!!

baby's head

baby's arm

baby's leg

baby's spine

United As We Are

Unexpected you came into my life
not wanting anything to do,
knowing the upcoming pain & strife
especially with somebody like you

Yet you insisted on being here
growing more & more in my heart
No idea what to do with this fear
but you're here & we aren't apart

What we will share is nine months together
I couldn't stand having you around at first
Nothing to do but to enjoy our get-together
Losing you, for me, would really be the worst

   Dedicated to my unborn baby

I have an appointment monday... might get to find out then!

wow... I'm a mom to be... I considered adoption, but after talking with parents, and several friends, I've realized I'm gonna have lots of help raising this baby... still need to get an appointment set up to se if it's a girl or boy. Also need to talk with the father, to get info so I can update info for Medicaid... anyways... la di da di da

One of the last few poems I managed to write about my grandmother (May she R.I.P) I miss her a lot.

Bingo
Sitting on the floor,
watching the reflection of her,
in the television

She sits in her recliner
crocheting works of art,
multicolored yarns
greens, blues, yellows, pinks.
All warm and loving-
Slippers, little jackets, hats, and blankets

I untangle yarn,
her legacy- left
unlearned by anyone.
Baskets of needles and yarn
sits well kept
looked at by some

I remember watching-
her sitting in her chair
crocheting works of art
all warm and filled with care.

A poem... that I stole off a friends page...

Your girlfriend only plays with you
and you can't see its true
come on girl whats wrong with you?

You Know I really love u,
and I know you see its true
why don't you just believe it
I could never hurt you


I surrounded myself with patience
let go of all my thoughts
If only you were happy
Maybe I wouldn't be at my loss


You say I am just your friend
but I know you feel much more
I can only accept it, that and nothing more...

[Beloved Promise] said I could use it.
I am not suicidal. It is just one way (not so major anymore) to vent my emotions instead of hurting other people and other reasons... being a lethal weapon is my main reason.
However, lately I try to write something down on paper, draw, or even just lay in bed and listen to music.

I have a blood lust issue... & I love it!!!!

Self-inflictions

Here I am, I sit
Alone but not
Fuck all of this shit
I've already fought

Bring out the razor
Bring on the pain
Not drawing a picture
I just need a gain

I need to see the blood
I need to feel the sting
It washes over as a flood
I'm not a human, but something

I love blood, the taste, and color
I love pain; it satiates my need
It comforts my pain, anger, and hunger
And all I need is the pain and to bleed

Favorite Song!!!!! ^.^

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

I wrote this as a way to say I'll miss the people who move whether it's away or just move on it doesn't matter it applies to anyone who becomes a friend of mine.

Unsaid Things
Friends of life, shall be
the mistake people make,
when they decide to meet me
this is granted as they take
I shake with thoughts
knowing, learning more about you,
saying people and life give you doubts,
but I know how you feel, and it's all blue.
The temporary happiness of it all,
the pain, anguish, and fury for them.
Getting us to feel ever so small
insignificant like coal, but actually a gem.
You've been there for me, always,
and I'll never forget you.
The last few days
before you move.
Two of a kind,
brightly we shined.
I'll get to hear from you,
But I'll still miss you.