wow... I'm a mom to be... I considered adoption, but after talking with parents, and several friends, I've realized I'm gonna have lots of help raising this baby... still need to get an appointment set up to se if it's a girl or boy. Also need to talk with the father, to get info so I can update info for Medicaid... anyways... la di da di da

One of the last few poems I managed to write about my grandmother (May she R.I.P) I miss her a lot.

Bingo
Sitting on the floor,
watching the reflection of her,
in the television

She sits in her recliner
crocheting works of art,
multicolored yarns
greens, blues, yellows, pinks.
All warm and loving-
Slippers, little jackets, hats, and blankets

I untangle yarn,
her legacy- left
unlearned by anyone.
Baskets of needles and yarn
sits well kept
looked at by some

I remember watching-
her sitting in her chair
crocheting works of art
all warm and filled with care.

A poem... that I stole off a friends page...

Your girlfriend only plays with you
and you can't see its true
come on girl whats wrong with you?

You Know I really love u,
and I know you see its true
why don't you just believe it
I could never hurt you


I surrounded myself with patience
let go of all my thoughts
If only you were happy
Maybe I wouldn't be at my loss


You say I am just your friend
but I know you feel much more
I can only accept it, that and nothing more...

[Beloved Promise] said I could use it.
I am not suicidal. It is just one way (not so major anymore) to vent my emotions instead of hurting other people and other reasons... being a lethal weapon is my main reason.
However, lately I try to write something down on paper, draw, or even just lay in bed and listen to music.

I have a blood lust issue... & I love it!!!!

Self-inflictions

Here I am, I sit
Alone but not
Fuck all of this shit
I've already fought

Bring out the razor
Bring on the pain
Not drawing a picture
I just need a gain

I need to see the blood
I need to feel the sting
It washes over as a flood
I'm not a human, but something

I love blood, the taste, and color
I love pain; it satiates my need
It comforts my pain, anger, and hunger
And all I need is the pain and to bleed

Favorite Song!!!!! ^.^

Remember when you ran away and I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I'd go berserk?? Well...
You left me anyhow and then the days got worse and worse and now you see I've gone completely out of my mind.. And..
They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa
To the funny farm. Where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!!!

You thought it was a joke and so you laughed, you laughed when I had said that loosing you would make me flip my lid.. RIGHT???
I know you laughed, I heard you laugh, you laughed you laughed and laughed and then you left, but now you know I'm utterly mad... And..

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa,
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the happy home. With trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!

I cooked your food, I cleaned your house, and this is how you pay me back for all my kind unselfish loving deeds.. Huh??
Well you just wait, they'll find you yet and when they do they'll put you in the ASPCA, you mangy mutt!!! And...

They're coming to take me away, ha-haaa.
They're coming to take me away, ho-ho, hee-hee, ha-haaa.
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha-haaa!!!
To the happy home, with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take me away, ha-haa!!!
To the funny farm, where life is beautiful all the time... (fade out)

I wrote this as a way to say I'll miss the people who move whether it's away or just move on it doesn't matter it applies to anyone who becomes a friend of mine.

Unsaid Things
Friends of life, shall be
the mistake people make,
when they decide to meet me
this is granted as they take
I shake with thoughts
knowing, learning more about you,
saying people and life give you doubts,
but I know how you feel, and it's all blue.
The temporary happiness of it all,
the pain, anguish, and fury for them.
Getting us to feel ever so small
insignificant like coal, but actually a gem.
You've been there for me, always,
and I'll never forget you.
The last few days
before you move.
Two of a kind,
brightly we shined.
I'll get to hear from you,
But I'll still miss you.