Do you ever watch a movie over and over again, hoping the saddest parts will somehow be different every time?
So, random update on me.
i think i figured out the root of my mental/emotion
various events involving many different people have left me (as far as i can tell) with a strong fear of abandonment. It tends to show itself in many ways.
From trying desperately to keep someone from leaving, pushing people away so they won't get close and then leave, to just plain not trusting anyone and being a jerk.
I can't even help it anymore. All I feel like I think about anymore is how or when the people who are close to me will disappear.
But I'm trying to learn to survive better. Hopefully I'll get it right soon.
Everyone needs something to look forward to, to keep them going every now and then.
Even if its just a message from someone special
Soo, here's the lowdown kids..
I get tired of venting randomly at random people to explain everything, so im putting it all into a nice little neat package for you to read and such without me having to go through th stress and unhappiness of trying to say/type it all millions of time.
Well to start off, I'm very mean. No one believes me, but I am. I have trouble trusting people, no matter who they are. My last girlfriend told me I was amazing ALL the time and I loved it, then after a week she dumped me, saying she wasn't ready for a relationship. Then, a week later, she has a new boyfriend. Yeah, so you can call me whatever you want, I don't mind. Just leave amazing out of it please.
Lets see... my ex before that, she likes to call me when she needs shit. And I'm a sucker who can't stand leaving people to suffer, so I always help her out. I dated her for a year and 8 months. No, I don't want to date her again, so don't worry about that I guess.
Hmm...umm....
My favorite thing in the entire world is to make people happy. Its my little way of making up for me being miserable. Seeing other people happy because of something I did helps a lot.
As crazy as it sounds, I don't think of myself as a person. I'm more like a bit character in other people's life stories just to add some depth, maybe a little mini plot, Idk. But I certainly don't believe I have my own story somewhere. I don't think I'm going anywhere in my life. I live my life, see what happens, and try to have fun. anything that could pass for a happy ending is just a bonus I guess.
okay, I'm almost dont. Please don't feel bad for me or anything. I hate bringing people down. I just thought I'd let everyone know the big cheerio story all at once rather than repeatedly telling it anymore. xP
And just so we all know...
Yo soy muy caliente :D
(Thats my probably failed attempt at spanish right there again)