My friend TJ has just told me that he's going to come to my all girls school to become a male prostitute in the girls shower room. I'm scared! He also told me he wants to have sex with 3 lesbians (all at once) and is telling me right now to ask if anyone wants to help?
Grrr Im so sick of not having a mouse. Well, I have a mouse - it just doesn't fuckin WORK! which makes clicking on things rather difficult... sorry about any spelling mistakes, I'm tired so I'm typing with my eyes closed... laid down... on a pillow, with a quilt over me.... SOOO nice! Yeh - so, I'm kinda sleepy as I'm sure you can tell. I found out last night that I can type without thinking about it, which is kinda funky! so, yeh, not bothering to stay awake while I write my diary :P
I'm listening to Three Days Grace at the mo - they rock so hard!! Love it! aaanway - I'm also kinda knackered because I was handing out car stickers from about 10 ocklock this morning. Dunno why my energy is still so low - I've ginished the antibiotics... hmm, not sure. I'm deffinatly not up to 100% yet... but I will be soon - I hope.
I feel really... ready. Dunno why, or what for - it's just this feeling I'm getting. Odd or what? hehe.
"I could be mean - I could be angry, you know I could be just like you!" (love this song - sorry)
Well I suppose I'll go to sleep now, love ya!
Sophia
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
(3rd times a charm - I keep being logged out *sigh*)
I went back to school today. I felt so wanted. The first people I saw today were like 'OMIGOSH it's you!'. I've had so many hugs today, and so many people gratefull that I'm back. I don't think anyone realised just how much that meant to me.
I was almost sick in the loo's just before ethics. Helen and Claire found me (they're just some people I know realy), and they helped me out no end. Thank's girls. Even though I felt ill, I managed to get through it all.
And now I've got back home, I'm invisible again. Mum and dad started fighting when we got in. Not the shouting type of fighting, that quiet, angry type that means more than just 'I'm pissed off'. I hate it when they fight, I wanna leave this place. The atmosphere is... opresive.
Well - I have a big thank you to say.
Thank you Kiran. Last night I was a bit quite and say 'I know' alot, and made up lots of excuses - but it realy means a lot to me that you would try - Thank you for being there for me. I hope you know that I'm always here for you if you need me (and when you don't aswell).
Thought for the day:
When you care for someone - let them know... if only once in a while. You don't realise how big a difference it can make to someone.
I'm off to go for a walk in half an hour with Sasha (she's like ... my walking companion (just like in 'Emma') hehe) so I'm gonna sign out.
Thank you, I love you all, my friends
Meh - none of my friends are online. I have nothing to do. I'm sick of being Ill!!
Okay, rant over!
Thought for the day:
You can't choose you're family - but you can choose to be their friend.
I'm so psyched about next thursday now. Mrs (Cindy) Davis called back finaly, she wants me to come to her house for choir practice next thrusday - and she wants me to take my guitar and sing a few songs. ((Eeepy fied)) If there's anyone I'd be nervous singing in front of, it would be Mrs Davis - she was always my fav teacher at primary school, and I really want to impress her. I'm thinking of singing 'empty' by the Cranberries (Coz I love it!) and maybe something like 'the rose' by bette middler ... not sure though. I'd love to have one of my songs finished that I could - oh wait - there's that one I wrote for Georgina... though that is kinda.. upsetting. I dunno. Maybe.
Again - I haven't spoken to my boyfriend in longer than I'd like to believe, and I'm starting to really REALY miss him. Suppose I'll have to deal though.
Still haven't done much on my coursework - hopefully I'll get an extension since I've been so ill.
I'm in school tomorow, hopefully, so that I can stay in Bar Mock. I'm enjoying it so much - but I haven't written the closing speaches yet, again because I've been so ill.
You can tell I'm getting better though, my diary gets positive when I'm well, and negative when I'm ill...
It's about time though. I've got my retakes coming up soon, the bar mock competition is next saturday, I think tomorow is the maths challenge as well. Jesus. I'm not sure if I'm realy ready for any of this!
Butterflies... eepage.
Message for the day:
When the world starts to fall apart, think of it as an opertunity to shine. Remember that you make a difference, you matter, and life wouldn't be the same without you.
Well - I'm off, probably time to take more antibiotics. Have a nice day/night.
Blessed be.
Sophia
xxxxxxx
Found this on *sparkle 101*'s profile and thought it was exactly what I'd try to explain on Sunday (2006-10-29):
His name was Kyle.
It looked like he was carrying all of his books.
I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.
As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.
They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.
His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.
He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.
My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"
There was a big smile on his face.
It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.
I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.
As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.
I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.
I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes.
We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.
Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.
I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!
He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.
When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke.
I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.
He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class.
(I teased him all the time about being a nerd)
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak
Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.
He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I did and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech; so, I smacked him on the back and said
"Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"
He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.
"Thanks" he said.
As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years.
Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly
your friends...
I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met.
He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.
He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.
He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.
"Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy
told us all about his weakest moment.
I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.
Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.
So - I'm still ill. The antibiotics aren't working. I feel like shit.
On the plus side - my boyfriend isn't speaking to me, I'm on the brink of being kicked off the Bar Mock team - and I've not finished my coursework (because I've been sleeping too much) and it's in for... oh yeah - TOMOROW!
yeh - that's the GOOD news. You don't wanna know the bad stuff.
The only groovy thing is
Exert from a wandering diary:
(('A wandering diary' is the title of my real diary))
dated 1st Nov. 2006
"I feel like I've failed. I've let myself try to have a social life and I've failed - I've tried to do Bar Mock, and failed there too - not to mention trying at school, and guess what! I've failed there too!
It's such a load of bollocks. I can't concentrate because of this virus, I'm not wanting to concentrate (because it's all a load of shite that I don't want to deal with right now)and to be honest, I'm not realy that fusse about 'the future' because I'm seriously starting to feel like I won't HAVE one.
Mums all upset because some stupid illness she's got is 'incurable' - but it's not a big deal - it's not going to kill her for christ sake. Not that she see's it that way - it's just another disability to her; and I kinow that it's hard, I realy do, it's just that it's hard to give someone sympathy when they keep forgetting you're alive. It's as if she's concumed with Rachel (because thats more important don't you know - it's not as if she's got a husband and friends to look after her ((NOT)) ) and I'm just the other daughter who does ok in school and lives in her room and becomes of interest now and then. I used to be able to tell mum anything - now I can't tell her a god damned thing. I've stopped trusting her, I've stopped valueing her opinion - I've stoppe believing a word she says to be quite honest. She turned out to be such a hypocritical annoying pushy person, that I just lost interest. I can't turn to Rachel - she doesn't have time - and Sean barely says more than 10 words to me now. Dad? pfft - well, I suppose he's always good if I need yelling at. He barely notices me unless I'm doing something wrong - he's too wrapped up in his own life to give a shit about mine.
I need a god damn shoulder to cry on! Is that too much to ask for? One stinking friend wyho care what's going on in my life who I can tell all my insecurities to. I need that. I feel so fucking isolated.
For one night I felt loved; and I'll thank Arron for that atleast - but I guess I hoped for too much, wanting him back. Here I thought he wanted to walk back into my life and pick up where we left off. I guess I'm more naive than I thought.
I think my real problem is that I see what is real, and what isn't - and I cling to that imaginary world for dear life - because it's all I have. I try so hard to live for the moment - but all that's keeping me going now is the hope for a better future. But I can't keep doing this forever. I need something - anything - to make life seem worth living again. It used to be my neices - but no longer. Yes - I could even leave them behind now. I can't think of one person I couldn't leave. Not one. My mind scans through family and frineds and commitments, and none of them matter. I feel like they've already let me down so much.
Everyone seems to think I'm so together
But I'm craking under the preadsure.
This mask hides what is brakin'
And I just keep on fakin...
Free fall into a new world
Please god help me land on my feet
Godess guide me now
help me work out how
To free fall to a new workd
and land on my feet.
Everything hurts, inside and out. It feels like someone literaly broke my heart and every beat it makes kills me a little more. Every breath hurts - because I know it's keeping me alive. I don't know what to do.
I'm scared that I'm gonna hurt myself. How stupid is that? I can't stand this world and I'm terrified of the next. I'm so pathetic. I tell Sasha all the time how it's stupid to fear death or hope for existance afterwards - because thats what makes life preacious - it makes life special. But my life isn't special anymore - it's empty and cold, and it hurts. I don't want to hurt anymore.
Please take away this pain.
I just want to be happy again.
Please.
I can't do this.
I just feel like I'm letting everyone down! I can't do anything right, even if I try. I'm kinda hungry now I've cried so hard. But I don't realy wanna eat - I'm so fat - it drives me nuts. *sigh* I just need to have a poitive outlookm and pray that it's enough to get me through, I can't rely on anyone else - so I'll have to depend on me. I may not want to, but unitil someone comes along and fills this hole in me (not in a rude way!) then I'll just have to keep it together.
I'm just not feeling well right now, once I get better this will all be easier. (Can you tell the Ibuprofen is kicking in?). "
Yet this diary starts (a few days before):
"Wow.
I've never felt more perfect..."
hmm. Spose it shows how easy it is to change.
I'm so tired all the time now. I guess I did too much yesterday - it put me back a fair ways - was nearly throwing up again 2day. Slept on the sofa for a while, but I still feel like shit. I made a doctors appointment, and I'm really hoping they'll just say - you've got a cold, deal with it. I don't know what I'll do if i'm proper ill. I hate not being myself - I just feel so god damned drained, and the pain levels are getting to me.
OOOH - I just remembered something from tuesday night though. Halloween kinda rocked. We had this huge massive party, where everything was spooky/ gorey, and it rocked so hard. I was in my kick ass boots, a tattered skirt and my wings (yes I had a top on too - u dirty people). Anyway, the thing I just remembered is these kids like to be chased on halloween around our area, so usualy some of the guys in scary costumes chase them - but they were like, dead on their feet, so I chased them. Obviously, I come back, sit with my friends, and the come askin for me to chase them again. Well, I couldn't be arsed, so I walked out the door, the kid ran, and I threw this little plastic sword I'd been messing with.
Now, I can't throw daggers properly, they normally just fall where ever they want, and don't go very far - let alone come anywhere near the person I'm aiming at.
Well! I step out the door and hurl this sword at them - my god, I missed him by an inch! It hit the tree behind him as he ran, and I swear it would have left a bruise if it had made contact. It was the best throw ever!! ((for me)) I stomped my foot and complained loudly that I'd missed the bugger - but I was so amazed how well I'd thrown that thing! Must have just been pissed off at him or something - have to try that again sometime :D
aaanyway - I'm knakered, and I think I'm going to go sleep, or watch a film, or something. Haven't done my homework yet - and that coursework is in soon - shit! oh well - don't really care anymore.
Let joy be yours
My blessings to all
Love fill your life
Through till next years fall
Blessed be
Sophia
xxxxxxxxx
((WOO!! 20th entry!!))
I'm so sick of this life and it's god damned restraints!
I never want to go to school again! I don't want to work, I don't want any of this! I don't want to be part of society - I don't want to be friends with people just because I'm supposed to be, I will not make appologies to people I don't feel I need to appologise to - And I sure as hell wont listen to any more of ALA's fucking drivle. (no I'm not refering to Allah - the islamic God - just so you know, I'm talking about one of my crappy teachers)
I'm just sick of all the fucking pretenses - How the hell are we supposed to live in an ordered society of equals if we never let eachother know how we feel? Why am I not allowed to say that I think you're an imbicile for believing what you do? Why can't I refere to myself as a white girl? Why the hell can't I just be me - fuck the consequences. This is my fucking problem with the world - no one knows me anymore, because I'm not allowed to be me! The only person who knows me likes me so god damned much that he hasn't seen me in weeks. And no - I'm not going to be understanding and say "I know he's busy" because bollocks to it! He's my boyfriend and I want to spend some god damned time with him!! I don't give a fuck if he's got other friends, I want to just see him - okay, I want to do more than that, but hey!
But you see - you can't say that, can you? You're supposed to be understanding, you're supposed to let other people live their lives how they want to - but who the hell says that he doesn't want to be spending that time with me? And I really couldn't care less if you're going through a bad time - I just say that cause I want you to feel better - I don't want you feeling sad - but I don't really care if you do. Fucking hell. I don't care if you got you're self pregnant and can't decide whether to abort or not because it's twins - I can't make that decision for you! Make up you're fucking mind and then get on with it!
I just want to tare this world apart! I'm so bleeding angry! Why cant I just be ME??? Is it too much to ask?
A little excert from my wandering diaries:
"Oh dear - this case is about train stations - now all I can think about is Arron - how bad is that? Omigosh. Sad ass! I'm in lurve...
Awww, that was sweet - first comment on the diaries of Nutty Butty Sophia goes to Kiran!!
Thanks babe, really sweet.
So, today is monday - and I was woken up today by a lovely txt telling me that I was late for school. I'm not back till wednseday... but it's the thought that counts I guess.
Feeling shitty again today - mum's so ill with it bless her, yet she manages to clean the house and half cook the dinner (I finished it off for her). How does she do that? When I get ill, I'm stuck in bed for a day - can barely move.
Went walking in the cold yesterday - not the smartest thing I've ever done... but!! Was nice to get out again - I'm a bit of an outdoorsy type, so being stuck indoors doesn't do wonders for my health anyway - not with two chimney's for parents. They smoke so much I'm surprised there's not a white fog everywhere in the house! Then they wonder why Im always opening windows! pah.
My head is hurting (nenah nenuh)
I'm feelin' blue (nenah nenuh)
Coz I'm so sick here when I'm here without you! (wiawiawww)
I got the lonely blues.... (harmonica solo)
hehe!
Yesh, the insanity prevails.
Reminds me - I'm now in love with the saying "I'm insane, what's you're excuse?"
Thought for the day!
You might feel like nothing is going your way, but give it long enough and tides will change.
Everything happens for a reason (if you let it)
You see, I'm not going to be all 'God has a plan', thats bullshit (mostly because I agree with Nietzchse that God is dead) but everything that happens gives a consequence, that, if you have the right attitude, gives you something that (okay, maybe you never wanted) makes you happy. You could lose the person you love, but in doing so you meet someone who introduces you to a life that you had never dreamed of...
If you don't believe me, just think about it. It's true.
Like when Georgina died - we were all so devastated. It still hurts, and the guilt that I wasn't there for her probably wont go away, but it made so many of us open our eyes to what would be left behind if we were to do the same thing. That feeling of not being loved or wanted - hell, we couldn't fit in the church! atleast a hundred people stood outside that church, straining to hear the ceremony, just to say goodbye. How could you have thought we didn't care? *sigh*
I guess I still keep asking myself whether I could have made her see if I'd been closer to her. I know it's stupid to look at whatif's... they don't help anyone, but you can't help it, can you? Makes you wonder too, have I been there for someone and stopped them doing something like that? I guess I'm just gratefull that the people close to me keep me going and haven't given up on me, or themselves.
I don't know what I'd do without my friends.
Thanks - all of you.
Shit - now I'm depressed. Oh well. Positive thinking... chocolate... and a good shopping spree will help. I think. I hope.
The only way you can get over feeling shitty is through you're own thinking. I'm getting better at controlling my emotions, though I have to admit, anger and sadness/pain are the hardest. I still have the urge to break down and cry everytime I think about the people in my life that are no more than memories. Paul, George, Debbie...
I've tried so hard not to close off my heart though. I know that stopping loving isn't possible. I'll never stop loving any of my friends, so I'll never avoid that pain. Closing your heart to the world doesn't save you.
"The higher you build your barriers
The taller I become.
The further you take my rights away
The faster I will run..."
And I've tried to stop getting too angry - but thats so hard too! I still have the urge to throw things, to punch the wall so hard it leaves a dint, to scream so loud even those creatures asleep in the depth of hell are wakened. But I dont. I clench my teeth. I stop for a second and breathe. It's so hard though. So hard.
Stupid realy - I can stop myself from hiccuping by just focusing, I can ctop myself from screaming, I can stop myself from crying - but I can't stop myself from loving, from feeling... wonder why.
*sigh* I'm gonna go drink one of my yummy 'hot chocolate with peppermint and echinacea' drinks. They are so delicious. (and apparently 33calories in a drink - random info)
Message for the day
The more you want something, the further away it seems.
The more you believe something, the closer it gets.
Believe you'll get the things you want, and you will.
*POSITIVE THINKING* induces
*POSITIVE RESULTS*
Love you all
blessed be
Sophia
xxxxxxx
I was walking home tonight, past the malt factory and the pub and a cute little house called Whitstichters (or something to that effect); leting the leaves of the weeping willow brush across my face when that old saying 'Life is not the amount of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.'
It's a lovely saying, but I got to thinking; what are the moments in life without the people to remember them?
Life isn't made up of moments, it's made up of the people you meet, the people you know, the people you don't. Those people who you love, and those you hate - they are what make up your life.
Whenever I see someone, I find myself thinking "What's you're story? Am I going to be part of it? Will I be you're leading lady, just an extra, or not even noticed? Will you make a difference in my life? Will you make a difference in mine?"
I want my story to have a happy ending - but who will be the person who takes my breath away? and will I get it back again?
Life is hard to explain - yet it can be so much fun to live... if you let it.
I'm illlll.
I hate this! Atleast I've stopped being sick - that was horrid.
omigod
Will just PROPOSED to me!! *shocked*
yeh - will - they guy I broke up with.
I NEARLY SAID YES!!
AHHHHHHHhhhhhh
Jebus! I can't believe I nearly agreed to marry the cunt!
*deep breaths*
See - this is how lonely I am! I need to stop this. HELP!
HAHAHA!! I just went on a weird 'get you're gothic name' site - and I got bored so I put in 'Smelly' - guess what it came up with?
Dead Psyco
hehehehe I guess they would smell a bit!
Why is it that I can talk to anyone about how I feel - anyone at all - I can write it down here, for all to see - but I can't go knock on a guys door and tell him I missed him??
I like him so much. But I'm terrified that he doesn't feel the same - And I mean terrified. I never knew I was this scared of rejection. Maybe I'm not - maybe I just...
Godess!! I can't do that again - I can't be away from him for that long. I wont kid myself that I don't have these feelings. I can't pretend I don't love him with all my heart. But why can't I just tell him! I guess part of me hopes he'll read my diary entries and find out - but the other half realy doesn't. I think part of me would die of embarrasment.
I can't believe I'm this obsessed. It's frightening.
I need to get a fucking grip!
I can't stand it when people are this obsessed with someone else - it's... ridiculous! I've got to STOP.
Please please please let me just... be NORMAL. This is the first time I've ever wanted that - and the first time I've ever asked - so PLEASE!!!
Might just delete my diary - delete everything - so that he never finds out I'm this obsessed.
I'm so gonna cry.
Thanks to everyone who's commented on this diary - Lets give a round of applause to this big list:
...
Right... so no one! haha. Suppose I write more drivle than I had realised.
Joy.
I should just change my name to Obsessive Compulsive - I swear.
BUT!!! you don't want to know about that - infact - if you know me or have read the rest of my diary - you already know all about that lol.
when's it time to quit?
When do you throw in the towel
and say "I can't do it -
This just feels too foul."
When is it time to try again?
When do you give it a go?
And know you're not insane
How do you know??
If anyone has any answers to that ^ please message me!
Is it love when you can't stop thinking about someone? Is it love - or just obsession - when you keep looking for them, hoping they'll just be there by accident, wishing they would just be trying this hard to find you?
I've so many questions right now. It's... killing me.
I need to know you love me
I need to know you care
I need to hear you call my name
I need you to be there.
God - whats with the random poetry?? I must be frustrated if it's coming out in verse - It's what I do to stop myself from just going beserk.
AHH I'm still doing it - save me!
Make it so these blind eyes see...
gosh - I'm starting to scare myself now.
Make the rhyming go away!
I hope I wasn't like this all day.
I can't really remember now,
and I don't even know how
I do it. All the time.
I didn't know that I could rhyme!
But now it doesn't want to stop
and I'm left here to lose the plot.
I'm getting better - just a half
Rhyme there (they make me barf)
I've got to stop talking in verse
Help! Quick! I need a nurse
to help me pack this rhyming in.
(It could be worse - I might just sing)
Maybe if I just stop writting
These sad rhymes may just stop bitting
At my sad little rhyming rod
That bobs and nods and gives a prod
What the hell am I talking about?
I'm being such a stupid clout.
I'm stopping now - adiue, good bye
Love
Sophia
(and thats no lie)
Welcome to another facinating episode of
SOPHIA'S DIARY
((Note the sarcasm))
I have too much work to do - and I can't be arsed to do any of it! I hate half term!
No - that's a lie - I hate SCHOOL. I hate teachers. I hate work.
I think that's one of the reasons I want to be a singer. Not just because I'm good at it, but because there's no one telling you how you have to do everything!
Or set you assignments.
I hate assignments.
Shit - that reminds me - I've got to ring Mrs Davis soon and tell her I'm interested in that choir thing.
I'm still Ill!! It's driving me nuts!!
Quote for the day:
VO - "Look!! Some idiot's going to jump off the evicorator!"
Manny -"Please tell me that's not our idiot"
Yesh, I've been watching Ice Age 2 again, and - just for the record - It still rocks, so fuck you!
Leads to my next point (Randomly) of not seeing my boyfriend in over a week, and starting to get paranoid that he doesn't want to see me. I'm a sad ass I know... but I havent even spoken to the guy! I need to meditate and chill out.
I'm so not going to be able to cross examine tomorow if all I can think about is how I haven't seen him even though I've wanted to.
Did I mention I'm slightly obsessive compulsive?
That is what my teacher refers to as a one liner. It has no evidence and I don't develop the thought - but really - who gives a shit? It's bloody self explanitory!!
Thought for the day:
When the world feels like it's resting on you're shoulders, don't worry - It's not going to break even if it falls off you're shoulders.
Meaningless drivle falls
out of my mouth, just
A fountain of knowledge
No one wants to trust...
If I cough one more time I'm going to punch something.
If you happen to be infront of me at this time - duck.
This week has been so shit!
It started off great - Got back with Arron, broke up with Will (in that order - oops), had a great night with arron...
Then! Will attempts to kill himself - which upsets and pisses me off - My best friend tells me that she cant decide whether to abort or not - my school work dips to an E grade - I don't see arron - Steph cancels on me - Bar Mock is HARD - and I had a parent's evening (AT 17 ffs!!) - Ontop of all that I get ANOTHER cold!
*sigh* what else can go wrong??
Infact - I don't want to know.
I'm going to be ignorant, play my guitar, write a song and pretend everything's okay.
I've wasted enough of you're time now - catchya later - have a good day (or night - or whatever)
Blessed be
Sophia xx