[Belthion]'s diary

67517  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-05-10
Written: (6773 days ago)

Never love some thing so much you cant see it die

67219  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-08
Written: (6775 days ago)

Saturday Ive seen and am now going out with a statuesque goth mademoiselle.I feel I have found some one that I can love and will love in return. Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal

61931  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-30
Written: (6814 days ago)

           What Is A Victim?

"You are being victimized whenever you find yourself out of control
of your life. The key word is CONTROL. If you are not
pulling the strings, then you are being manipulated by someone or
something else. You can be victimized in an endless number
of ways.

"A victim as described here is not "first of all" someone who is
taken advantage of through criminal activity. You can be
robbed or swindled in much more damaging ways when you give up your
emotional and behavioral controls in the course
of everyday life, through forces of habit.

"Victims are first of all people who run their lives according to
the dictates of others. They find themselves doing things they really
would rather not do, or being manipulated into activites loaded
with unnecessary personal sacrifice that breeds hidden resentment.
To be victimized, as I use the word here, means to be governed and
checked by forces outside yourself; and while these forces are
unquestionably ubiquitous in our culture, YOU CAN RARELY BE
VICTIMIZED UNLESS YOU ALLOW IT TO HAPPEN. Yes, people
vicitmize themselves in numerous ways, throughout the everyday
business of running their lives.

"Victims almost always operate from weakness. They let themselves be
dominated, pushed around, because they often feel they are
not smart enough or strong enough to be in charge of their lives. So
they hand their own strings over to someone "smarter" or "stronger,"
rather than take the risks involved in being self-assertive.

"You are a victim when your life is not working for you. If you are
behaving in self-defeating ways, if you are miserable, out of sorts,
hurt,anxious, afraid to be yourself, or in other similar states
which immobilize you, if you aren't functioning in a self-enhancing
manner, or if you feel as if you are being manipulated by forces
outside of yourself, then you are a victim - and it is my contention
that your own victimization is never worth defending. If you agree,
then you will be asking: What about relief from victimization? What
about freedom?"

Pulling Your Own Strings
Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
-----------------------------------------------------

               My Two Cents


The world in which we live in is - asleep. Humanity walks around in
a daze only too happy to please its Masters.
Never questioning the Source of its debilitation. It was summed up
nicely in the American Declaration of Independence - this way.
"All exerience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer,
while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing
the forms to which they are accustomed."

Over 200 years later humanity is still abiding by the law
of "Familiarity breeds contempt".

Conformity is sold as the way to exceptance and truth. How many play
the game of "Monkey see, Monkey do". These people will never know
themselves. Few will do as they please without feeling guilty about
it. And most will die never having found that "little piece of
heaven" they spent their whole lives working for.

As Satanist we must deprogram ourselves from this game of conformity
and self deprivation.

Only by leaving these mind games behind can be we begin to mature as
Satanist. Only then can we as Plato said,"Know thyself". Friedrich
Nietzsche, has this to say about needing anothers approval, "So long
as you are praised think only that you are not yet on your own path,
but on that of another."

When you are concerned with another's thoughts about you, you are
letting yourself be victimized. How so? When your doing what someone
else wants you to do - when you need anothers approval, before you
will do as you think you put them above you. Are "they" more
important than "you"? Of course not. The highest law in existence is
that of self-preservation. So long as you live your life according
to anothers decrees of what is right and wrong, you put yourself
last in your own life.This is what the enemy wants. This is their
program of Xianty. Remeber: It is better to give than recieve? That
is a perfect example of living for others. While it is important to
take care of our loved ones, just as Satan takes care of us - we
must not let ourselves we taken advantage of. We are taught to
except the lie - what is right for one is right for another.

We are all individual people. No one else thinks the way we do. No
on else has had the same life experiences. No one else has felt
the pain, the pleasure, the hate we have. No one else was embarrased
the way we were in school. No one else ..... We each have
different reasons for coming to Satanism. Just as we all have
different reasons for listening to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by
Nirvana.

The point is - why let someone who is different, and can never
understand you run your own life?

What is the point of being afraid to tell your loved ones you wont
be coming to visit this weekend? What is the point in letting
yourself pay an overcharge instead of speakin up? What is the point
of being afraid of things that have not yet happend? What is the
point in being afraid of confrontation?

Why let others opinions on how things are suppose to be - run your
life?

More to come...

Priestess Cecily

61930  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-30
Written: (6814 days ago)


I just wanted to say that we are in a kind of a "Catch-22" situation,
but that's unfortunately very necessary. The internet has brought us
all toghether,that's nice,but that's dangerous too. Specially in our
case,where we are standing against big things such as xianity.
It's perfectly normal that some here don't feel confortable enough to
talk about their lives, and this is very wise, because we are been
watched like in a "George Orwell's Big Brother" way,closer than many
would think it would be possible. We are being spied on.
The catch-22 comes when we feel alone,and have no one to talk or to
question, to share or even to dream along...

I believe many here to have been under "psiquiatric care", because of
the visions, evocations or even the shiny dots of energy, not to
mention the "family",so loving and worried - I am being sarcastic
here - prefering to put the guy into an ward rather to believing or
trying to understand (everything they can't understand they either try
to push away or destroy/vanish). And than this psiquiatric probably
will be a jew,as mine was,they have a preference in this area of the
medicine(wonder why...)and will either put you under heavy medication
or will use your emotional weakness to abuse you. The least harm he
will do is to make you even more confuse.
WE ARE NOT CRAZY.
Break your chains,stop believing/trusting other people,Priestess
Cecily is absolutely right when she says we must rely on ourselves.
And in ourselves only.
CRAZY PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THEY ARE CRAZY.
So if you think you are crazy, than you are perfectly sane.You know
what is your truth, and only you can decide if it's this what you want
for your life. Taking a frase from the film "The Matrix", "you can
take the blue pill or the red pill". It's your decision.

Father Satan wants us to unite to be strong,to help each other,and as
long as we take precautions like not giving any ID information, real
names or avoiding to meet in person for security reasons, I don't see
why we should not show everybody here the real face of "The Great
Asshole YHVH" and what's he is capable of if we are not aware, and the
most important thing, to talk about how many wonders we have
experienced as a gift from Father Satan... because even controling our
emotions and being very careful it's wonderful to find our kind, to
know that somebody understands you, TRUSTS you. Not in a blind way of
trust, but more in a matter of respect and fellowship.

There is nothing worse to a child than to not be believed when she's
actually being very serious about something important. For us is
exactly the same feeling,at least for me... and I'm sure Father
understands that,in His wonderful wisdom.

So here we are, let's do the best we can to be more united, let's
respect our own people (of course fighting the idiots who come here to
bring desagreements and discord and those who protect the enemys of
our father)and help the JoS ministry help us.

That's all.

Hail Enki! Hail Shamash!

Mysticka.

60947  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-03-24
Written: (6820 days ago)

Contrary to current popular belief (mainly brought about by the
Church of Satan) Satanism is NOT a form of atheism with ritual and
symbolism. Satanism is historically the religious worship of the
spiritual being Christians and others call "the Devil" or Satan. To
the Satanist the Devil is not an evil being bent on the corruption of
mankind. In Satanism Satan is a loving and just god. We consider
Him to be the true father of mankind.

According to Christian belief it was Satan who tempted mankind to eat
of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and this caused
their "fall from grace." They believe that the ultimate goal of
mankind is to return that blissful state of purity, innocence and
union with "God." They despise Satan's gift to us as the single
worst incident in human history. But this is all a lie. In truth,
everything you have ever enjoyed has been a result of Satan's actions
in the symbolic "Garden of Eden." If mankind had not received this
gift of free-will we would be nothing but mindless slaves to the will
of Jehovah.

To the Satanist, Satan's gift was our true salvation. We therefore
acknowledge Satan as our true father for without him we would be
nothing. And the Gift of Satan doesn't stop there. We now have the
potential to become more than we are. We have through Satan the
ability to become like gods ourselves. This is the ultimate goal of
Satan, for us to one day transcend the limitations placed on us by
Jehovah and our physical bodies and become suitable companions and
partners for Satan and the Demons.

Unlike Jehovah, Satan does not want mindless slaves. He accepts only
those who come to Him of their own free-will. Satan does not command
us to worship Him, instead we do so out of gratitude for the gift he
has given us and the sacrifice he made to give it to us. Our father
Satan gave up everything, , His glory, His throne, and His powers in
the Heavenly realm to insure that there would always be a Will
separate from that of Jehovah's. Satan is the only thing which
stands between us and the total subjection of our minds and bodies to
the Will of Jehovah.

Any so called "sacrifice" made by Jesus of Nazareth pales in
comparison to Satan's revolt against Jehovah, for as a consequence
Satan has had to watch the painful and hideous deaths of His
followers and children at the hands of the monster the Jews,
Christians, and Muslims call their "God." From the beginning,
Jehovah has systematically sought out and destroyed the followers of
Satan. His followers are so intent on our total destruction that
they have also murdered countless numbers of people who were only
SUSPECTED of being Satanists!

The Christian Bible demands our blood. "Thou shalt not suffer a
witch to live" has been the death sentence for countless numbers of
Satan's followers for the last 2000 years. During the Medieval Ages
it was not Wiccans or any form of "misunderstood pagans" that were
tortured and burned alive. Besides the masses of ignorant peasant
women who were killed on grounds of mere suspicion, the real witches
who were killed were Devil Worshippers in the true sense of the term,
Satan's children.

To make it easier to slaughter us without emotion, the Christians
leveled the most obscene and outrageous charges against us. We were
dehumanized and scorned in every way. No longer were we merely the
ignorant enemies of God, we were now looked at as the enemies of
humanity itself, doing evil purely for evil's sake. We were said to
steal children in the dead of night and perform all manners of
atrocities on them. It was assumed then and is still accepted today
by millions of "God's" followers that we delight in nothing more than
sacrificing children to our God the Devil.

Everyone likes to forget to mention however that these same heinous
charges of infanticide and ritual murder were leveled against the
Jews during the same time period. And for some reason everyone
agrees that it was ridiculous to accuse the Jews with these things,
yet they still believe all of the stories told about us. By a vast
amount of people we are still looked at as inhuman monsters. Even
with the modern world's quest for political correctness it is still
considered okay to view Satanists with a degree of scorn and hatred.

We seek to show the world that we are not inhuman monsters. We have
emotions and families, we have a serious religion with real sacred
traditions and our rituals our not horrible and terrifying scenes
from a horror novel. It is our goal to show the world that a person
can worship Satan without committing acts of crime and murder. But
if there is one thing which we have already proven it is that no
matter how many of us are burnt, tortured, hung, maimed and ridiculed
by Jehovah's sheep, we will not stop worshipping our God. As long as
Satan exists we will exist and Satan can never be destroyed.

56958  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-28
Written: (6844 days ago)

my heat ackes being with out you. i love you, I am sorry for hurting you ,on me knees I beg of you im sorry, so sorry,Dont leave.Please dont leave,what do you want to hear from me ?I plead with you,I love you ,sorry for telling you those hurtfull things.I was angry talking with out thinking.Im sorry ,why whhy ,please dont leave ,sorry,sorry dont leave.I love you

56955  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-28
Written: (6844 days ago)

lonelyness,watching thr the crowd which of these people are like me.none i feel but a select few.lonelyness with out you,which one of them are you. I stand here waiting for you.the one that i have never met,waiting for you to come to me.I will wait to see you or you see me First.thay dont understand me but i know you will .i know you feel like i do because i am part of you .when we meet we you will know I am the one because we will feel as one .

56952  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-28
Written: (6844 days ago)

death is what i want,Not what i need,To be everything to be nothing,to sacrafice my life,to sacrifice my need.i want to bleed .the warmth the cold ,the sting from my wrist that bleeds.instant pain away.now everythings gray.as longe as theres self inflicted pain now emotions at bay.

56873  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-27
Written: (6845 days ago)

I love your touch, your fingers thru my hair, your hands against my face ,the pressure of your body when i am in your arms,the taste of you on my lips.the feel of your weight in bed.the panting of your breath.

56871  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-27
Written: (6845 days ago)




wrists cut for blood, amniotic fluids,are life line,spiritual,physical and atractive lust,I feed from my love,your blood on my lips ,your tounge in my mouth tasteing, what i fead from you, my love

56868  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-27
Written: (6845 days ago)

the stake thu your heart and thru me..I was holding you when the stake was stabbed thru you.We are dieing.we must feed .you suck me and i will feed off you.We will die together spiritualy and litteraly.each others blood ,are last feed.

56599  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6848 days ago)




seeing thru glass is not seeing me, for i am darker that you,naturaly.I am darker than any thing you want to be.would you still kiss me.sense i am the evil you cant be.do you still love me knowning i am the darkness and celidrate than darkness.in ways you are to scared to do.i am the darkness and beyond the darkness in you.i am fathomable just give me your hand and see

56596  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6848 days ago)

in are lives we are together.you and me 2 as one .you die i will go to.as alive the times are fun, just you and me over the world of none.we hold hands you and me .we are friend to the end beyond what lovers would ever wish to be .just you and me.we are the only 2 that matter in are reality

56594  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6848 days ago)

cant live with out you .you are god i will always kneel for you .The ground you walk on should be treated as gold..your voice is the first birds chirp of spring.your eyes and hair, the sun times a thousand flare,your skin silk milk and honey in one.

56574  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6848 days ago)

Suicide is to easy.if i cut my wrists will i feel safe.is there really lady death.will i be embraced.will i feel the void or divine love. i guess i will quit thinking and try.

56572  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-24
Written: (6848 days ago)

after you left me I was so happy,I did not know i wanted you ,could i hold you. could you hug me one last time.I miss your touch I miss you.Im so sorry.I let go of you.To late for you i know.one more time be with me sexually.your touch, your taste, i still love you. to late for you and me you will always still be with me.

56231  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-02-22
Written: (6850 days ago)

cOVERED IN BLOOD, THE HEAT FROM MY WRISTS FADEING AWAY,HOLDING MY SELF CLOSE AS MY LIFE FADES AWAY,COLD AND LONELY AS THOUGHTS FADE AWAY.yOUR NAME IS THE LAST VIBRATION FROM MY LIPS. i SEE YOUR FACE IN MY EYES AS, MY SIGHT AND THOUGHTS SLOW DOWN AND FADE AWAY.

55020  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-02-15
Written: (6857 days ago)

The books of Jews, Christians and Muslims, as of those who are without. Three things are against me and I hate three things. those who are without are my adversaries, hence they oppose me,it is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them. Now, then, all ye who have followed my commandments and my teachings, reject all the teachings and sayings of such as are without.(Al Jilwah)

54936  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-14
Written: (6858 days ago)

What have I done for you to speak to me so.have i not always been there for you.thru life and almost death your depression boughts and angre fits. am i not still around though this, .I have never layed my hand on you like you do to me.when I bleed you laugh at me all mental abuse. no physical.

54696  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-02-13
Written: (6859 days ago)

lOVE OF LIFE.LIFE TO DEATH.SUFFERING,PAIN NOI SUPRESSED .bEUITY, JOY.NOT A DECOY OF LIFE EXPRESSED.LOVE ,MAIME SUFFERING AND A DRAIN YET IT IT FUN AND GAMES OVER AGAIN.IT TAMES THE PAIN .

53332  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-02-03
Written: (6869 days ago)

iN A DARK PLACE SMOKE AND RUIN CLAWING AT MY WAIST DIGS THROUGH MY SKIN BEGINS AGAIN--eX G     mY EYES ARE BRUISES SCREAMING THEIR SONG OF PAIN TO ALL HO CAN HEAR MY HANDS ARE CLAWS OF GLASS CLUCHING TO VELVET CHAINS AT ALL HO COME NEAR MY FEET ARE PEDISTALS OF IRON ROOTED IN A DISEASED PALACE WHOSE WALLS ARE DECORATED WITH FILTH MY VOICE IS DARKNEDD FLOWING LIKE WINE SILKY AND FINE TWINED ABOUT,WITH BARNACLES OF LONG LOST TIME-DELA

 The logged in version 

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