i noticed that i drink alot, i mean ALOT

lets just say that im getting sick, and just leave it at that

In the words of the great Buckaroo Banzai
"In life, no matter where you go....there you are......"

Steve Winwood- Valerie

Wish You Were Here

well, I figured out something new about myself, I LOVE TO GAMBLE!!! lol, well I spent the weekend at my uncles house in Traverse City, and my father, his gf tina, and I went to Turtle Creek Casino, and i didnt know what to play, so i decided to play the quarter slot machines, and I LOVE 'EM lol, i have went in with 20 dollars, and came out 3 dollars and 50 cents richer, so i guess it wasnt bad at all, i hope to go back soon cause it was soo much fun

picture this,..one minute i am sitting there talking to you, and you are having soo much fun, and you are happier than you have ever been in your entire lifetime, ..you turn your head for one second and you feel a slight breeze brush across the back of you, and as you turn your head back to look at me, im gone, and you realize it was all just a dream.........

You ever get that feeling, where you know that something is wrong, but you have no control over it, and it eats away at you, day in and day out, to the point that the stress is going to kill you? well my heart is literally about to fail on me now

ok i watched a very interesting documentary that give hard evidence that there is infact extraterrestrials, and that most of our major technology came from them, our government has has special weapon that is fired upon intruding flying disks, which is wrong, they shouldnt be doing that, but they have been firing this weapon towards flying disks for years, roswell was the first successful hit, in which cause the roswell incident, now the government has made it a habit to fire the magnetic plasma disruptor at any flying disk approaching earth, when the weapon is fired there is a bright flash of light similar to lightning, and there is nasa footage where nasa declines to give their comment on what the flash of light is, but after the flash of light in the footage you can clearly see the disk reverse its course and accelerate to an estimated 7000mph to outrun the energy beam that was fired upon it, and you can see the high blast of energy streak into the sky and into space and miss the disk, .....this is something that the government needs to come forward about

you ever have those days where you see everyone around you in a relationship and you see how happy they are together, and then you realize that it is that happiness that you are missing out on, and you look at yourself and see that your always alone, and that no one that you want wants you, and you have that gut feeling that you are right that you are gonna be alone for the rest of your life,.....well thats how i feel all the time,

While the everyone i know is in school, i wont be, im finally done with that, so from now on, im gonna be a totally different person, im changing everything about me, my hair will be different my body will be different, i will talk differently, when you see me you may not even know it was me, i will look like just another ordinary adult, except i will have one of the biggest secrets on earth, ...i will walk the city streets, i will wonder to and fro about this town searching for those who commit injustice, those who harm, and i will protect the innocent

give me a reason to be here
and i will give you 10 on why i shouldnt

give me a reason on why i shouldnt be here
and i will give you 100 reasons why i should

tell me you love me, and tell me i am yours
and i will give you the world

I miss the days of Ducktales, Talespin, Chip and Dale Rescue Rangers, Darkwing Duck, GoofTroop, and the Gummy Bears,.... I wish I could go back to those days so bad.....Those were the good days, where i never had a care in the world, and those were some of the greatest shows on television back when i was a little kid

its like 4:40am and i cannot sleep, im so excited over the new superman movie, i cant freaking wait, its gonna blow every other damn movie outa the water, not just all superhero movies, ALL MOVIES!!!!!!!!!!

no body knows exactly what i go through, everyday i put on a brave face to cover up the tears i cry at night, it hurts bad emotionally, knowing that there is no real gaurantee in my cancer being gone for good, there are days i will wake up crying my eyes out saying please dont let me die, and nightmares of my doctor talking to a nurse with the nurse telling the doctor that "hes alright" meaning me, and my doctor saying back to the nurse in a slow and sad voice that "no hes not" and my doctor walking into the exam room and saying that they have done all they could and they gave me the best treatment possible, and that he is sorry, and i just keep hearing his voice in my head saying "Matthew, im sorry, im so soo sorry", that dream haunts me, and it always will, and it always re-occurs

ok, i have this weird but interesting dream lastnight, i feel asleep, and when i awoke i was downtown here in battle creek, and i kept seeing helicopters flying all around in the sky, so i wondered what was going on, so i looked down the streets and noticed that there were people everywhere looking up at the sky, and then i seen a streak of fire go across the sky, then i looked at the ground and seen a water puddle and seen my reflection in it, i was wearing dress clothes and i had a pair of glasses on, and they were a different pair than the ones i have, then all i kept hearing around me was "Where is Superman? Why hasent he done anything yet?" then i looked behind me at the building i was standing infront of, and it was the Daily Planet, and at that time i realized who i was, and i thought "oh crap, i have to do something!" then i looked around and seen an alley so i jogged across the street looking left and right and kept on looking around me to see if anyone was watching, and everyone was still looking towards the sky, so i proceded down the alley picking up pace to a slight run, i grabbed my glasses and took them off and clinched them in my right hand, i pulled open my vest and dress shirt with the buttons ripping off, and i looked down and seen that i had the new superman costume on, and that the clothes i had on were gone and i was in full costume, so i crouched down a little bit, and then i made a jump and i went soaring into the air and i landed on the rooftop of the Daily Planet, and i got a look at what the helicopters were going after, it was a guy who highjacked a military jet fighter, and i knew this was gonna be a hard one, one helicopter comes flying in and the guy in the jet fighter takes aim at the heilcopter, without hesitation i launched myself as fast as i could towards the helicopter, i flew in front of it and i seen a missile making its way towards me that was shot from the jet fighter, i bolted right towards the missile and i felt the explosion on me and was knocked un-oriented, then i got a lock on the jet fighter, and i had to be sure that i could take him out, and in the blink of an eye i had flew over to the jet fighter and grabbed ahold of the tail of the plane, with the flames of the afterburners flaring in my face, i decided to freeze up the jets, so i blew as fast and as hard as i could and a thick layer of ice formed over the jets, and the jet fighter shut down, and i flew the jet to the ground and the guy was taken away by the police, and then i say bye, then i crouched down once again and launched myself back into the sky, and then i woke up

my best friend and i have stumbled across a thought that may change everything in the world of fuel sources, we are gonna create a "fuel rod" which is a form of fuel for cars which will consist of a solid chemical compound that is nearly endless in production of combustable fumes that would be to the equivalent of gasoline combustion

-_- i feel like superman in superman 2, when superman went to the fortress of solitude and says "father i have failed you, i didnt listen, and i need you, ....FATHER!!!!!!!!!!!!"....i am soo serious when i say this, and i mean it with all the fiber of my being, "The world NEEDS a HERO, or HEROES, and i wish i could be one, and help the ones i love", that is how i feel sometimes, and how i feel right now

hmm, ----------JANUARY-------------------
Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone* always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth. Stubborn. A fighter. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance your personality.


sounds just like me lol

words of wisdom from (Marlon Brando) Jor El: even though you have been raised as a human being,..you are not one of them, ....they can be a great people Kal EL, they wish to be, ...they only lack the light to show the way, ....for this reason, above all, their capacity for good,..i have sent them you, my only son.

hmmm, i wonder, what if the cancer rate is increasing due to the amount of radioactive material taken from the earth and being encased in lead, since radioactivity kills cancer cells, what if, now go with me on this, what if since all the radioactive material that has been taken, what if that is what has kept cancer from killing people, since WWII more and more radioavtive material has been taken from the earth and has been contained, what if there is a slight possibility that there might be a direct relation to the increase in the cancer rate, what if we need that radiation, what if that was there for a reason to keep this illness from happening, no one may ever know, but that is one of my ideas on how the cancer rate has increased