I am so effing bored...

I should totally be tired. Seriously. I was up sooo freaking late last night, mainly because my brain wouldn't stfu for two seconds so i ended up lying on the couch ranting like a mad tramp for hours. Apparently i kept Alex up even though she was like upstairs XD Sorry dear! My brain had alot to say, and i didn't have access to my EP diary :O which is tragic. Ok, i did have access, but it was in the other room, so whatever. Anyway. Yeah. So i woke up with this REALLY bad pain across my chest, and i was like 'wtf, am i having a heart attack?!' then it turns out that Alex had the same thing... So i don't know what the hell it is, but it hasn't gone away yet =( very upsetting. I bet it was because we went for a walk in the middle of the night and it was FREEZING cold... We probably both caught pneumonia or something. If i'm dying, i totally blame Josh. It's all his fault.

My GOD i am so unbelievably bored. It's not right for a human to be this bored. If God existed he would NOT let me get this bored. Because i act like a jerk when i'm bored. I act like a jerk most of the time, but moreso when i'm bored. Seriously. Oh well.

Half day tomorrow, which is grrrreat! Like Frosties <_< >_> ...I have to go to Tesco because my stupid mother didn't understand my shopping list! I asked her to buy butter pop corn and she hasn't and i'm craving it sooo badly, and people should know NEVER to get in the way of a pmsing woman and her cravings. Lol, you so didn't need to know that. But yeah, it may be something to do with the fact that i wrote this on the list:
Popcorn (butter&salt pl0x)
...I don't think she knows what pl0x is, so she just ignored it XD probably thought i would set off a bomb and incinerate the universe if she got popcorn... i don't know, my family is retarded, but we seem to be getting on a hell of a lot better than we used to recently, which is good. Now i just need to sort out the rest of my life... Oh wait, it's sorted! Omg! Hey, look everyone, my life is reasonably stable and good at the minute! Let's have a party or something!

Only issue i'm having at the moment is boyfriend. I've only been with him a week and i'm beginning to get bored already. I don't know what it is with me... One minute i'll be over the moon, on top of the world and surfing on the sun (i made that one up :P) and the next i'll be like 'bitch, please ¬__¬' whenever he tries to speak to me. Seriously, my brain has something wrong with it. I want a boyfriend. I get a boyfriend. I don't want it anymore. GAH! Hah, i get pocky if it lasts over a week though, so i'm thrilled XD I feel like such a bad person now... whatever, i probably am a bad person. Maybe my brain will decide whether or not i want to be single soon.

Omg, Emily just told me that i should be a gay guy O__O that is really worrying, because she's like the 8th person to say that to me in the last week. I don't get it. But yeah, i think i was a gay guy in a past life or something <_< >_> XD

I'm so bored of this now... I'm so bored that i think i'm actually going to go to bed... Else i'll never get up in time for school tomorrow. OMG school, i so can't be bothered... Oh well, i need to get that popcorn before i die from my cravings, so that's one good reason to head off into good old Mold. Seriously though, there can be nothing good about a place called Mold.

I'm going to bed now.

</ramble>

^{[Chris Crocker is my hero <333 Just to let you know XD]}

Ok. Back to ranting. My mind has literally torn itself in half now. So i'm writing from the two different perspectives i'm having, to make this easier.

1: Joe was totally right. Having people close to you, loving people and caring about them only gets you hurt in the end. Having a best friend who says she's better off without you, and is realising who her true friends are as if 4 years of hell and happiness have meant nothing hurts more than you can imagine. Something inside me is telling me that he was right all along, and that we were the stupid ones telling him he was depressed and needed help and that no one can survive completely on their own. But i think we can. So, if this side of my mind wins out, i'm breaking all ties as soon as i'm well enough to go back to school. No friends, no boyfriend, nothing like that. Because recently all it seems to be causing me is pain. I've relied on my friends for far too long, it's time to start relying on Me, Myself and I. I'm not going for the 'love only yourself' angle, but more the 'hate only yourself'. I don't feel like i deserve to have all the amazing people i have/had in my life, so i'm not going to have them anymore. I'll take them away, and i'll be better off for it in the end, because when eventually the time comes for me to leave, it won't hurt nearly as much as it would. My God. I sound so much like Sasuke it's terrifying. Breaking bonds and surviving alone, but i think it's the best way for me to go, because i'll only end up hurting people if i don't do this. Hurting myself is ok... But i've had enough of hurting other people. I'm seeing the world differently. I look at people and think 'I can't let myself get close to them. I'll only end up hurting them.' ...I know i'm probably not making any sense... Fever does weird shit to me... Stupid brother and his stupid stomach bug or whatever the hell this is that i have... Maybe God does exist and he's punishing me for being such a bitch to the world. Good. I deserve it.

2: I'm being stupid and over-emotional. I DO need people, and friends, and love, more than anything else in the world. I need my best friend, even if she's said some pretty hurtful stuff, i'm willing to accept that this silliness has been a misunderstanding and forget about it. I need my boyfriend, even if he is a tit sometimes, he's always a shoulder to cry on. I need my other friends, all of whom i hold dear and i don't know what i'd do without them. I need my family and everything that i have at the moment. All this nonsense these last couple of days has been a relapse into the person i used to be. The cold, hateful, bitter person who thought she could survive on her own without anybody and ended up nearly destroying her own life as a result. I don't want to be her again... Well part of me doesn't... And part of me does... Part of me thinks it would be better that way... And part of me is screaming 'No, no you're making a huge mistake!' ...But all this 'i need..' nonsense makes me sound like such a... burden. A burden to other people. Maybe i'm trying to convince myself that i don't 'need' anything... What the hell am i trying to prove here?? What is the matter with me... Where is my mind going? Wherever it is i get the horrible feeling that i can't follow it... I feel like i'm becoming less and less... what's the best way to describe it? Human? ...Whole. Complete. My mind doesn't feel like it's a part of my body anymore.. I just feel like a bystander, watching myself and thinking 'What a prick.' ...But i don't know how to fix it... WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH ME, of course i know how to fucking fix it.. Stop being a moron, hug all your friends, everything will be ok... i'm sick of it being like that though, fucking 'everything will be fine as long as i have my friends' it sounds like some kind of shitty movie... But i do need my friends, as much as i hate to admit it, i don't think i'd be me without them... Or am i someone else at the moment and i need to go back to being myself?? WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON WITH ME, I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY MIND, AND OVER WHAT?! A realisation that my friends don't need me as much as i need them? Yes. That's probably what it is. The realisation that i haven't been myself for 5 FUCKING YEARS!!! No one, but NO ONE, knows the real me! WELL HERE SHE FUCKING IS WORLD!!!!! DO YOU LIKE IT?!?! I FUCKING HOPE NOT, BECAUSE I DON'T!!!! Here's the real fucking me, the me that only one person ever really met!!! Hello, wie gehts, how's life for all of you out there today?! I'm just fucking great, having a whale of a time, whatever that supid freaking phrase means. Bye bye, i'm bored now.

Right then... Well i suppose i have alot to say, but i'm not entirely sure how to say it... If i've ever felt like i have split personalities, it's now. My mind seems torn, and for the first time in my life, my heart is being torn two ways aswell... How stupid does that sound? I'm not the loving kind, people know that. I hate to get attached to boys, not because i don't like commitment, but because i'm terrified of getting close to someone and losing them. Now i'm starting to get close to my current boyfriend, and part of me is enjoying it, and part of me feels like it's falling apart... I don't know why, i don't know what's the matter with me. I've been in a vile mood all week so far.. I've lashed out at people i love and hold dear (and at total strangers aswell.. threatening year 7's with quick and painful death o___O) i've refused to go home, i've fought with myself over what the hell i'm doing. I had a fight with my mum and for the first time in my life i actually, genuinely felt like i was capable of grabbing a knife and stabbing someone. Half of my mind has been like that. Violent, moody, anti-social and about as tolerant of people as an angry wasp suffering from severe PMS... The other half of my mind has been... i don't know, relaxed? I'm not sure... I can't describe it... Part of me is looking in the mirror and thinking 'wtf, kill yourself now, you're an awful person' and the other half is thinking 'who cares, this is you. Deal.' ...I can't decide which half i agree with... And all this conflict and crying and pushing people away from me is over Josh and my desperate need to be alone but still loved... An impossible concept really. And the sad thing is, i think this is all because i just can't let Joe go completely. I'm still clinging on to the few tiny little whisps of what we had when he was alive... And that's what's causing all this immense conflict in my brain. I feel happy when i'm with Josh, but also like i'm cheating Joe in some way... I also get the intense feeling that alot of people want me dead at the moment. I'm the most paranoid, self concious person in the world, and i'm convinced that everyone is turning against me... You know that feeling when you're standing in a huge crowd but you feel totally, utterly, completely alone? Ever had that? Like you're in a glass bubble and you want to reach out to people, but can't quite reach. Gah, this is dumb, i'm making myself cry and i have no idea why i'm even crying... Gaaah, i've cried so many times these last few days it's unreal. I spent ages at Gemma's crying my eyes out for no reason with her and Josh... I was sniffling a way like a noob in Psychology today, and Grant was so nice to me it made me cry even more because i barely even know him... Then i was talking to Ruth outside and on came the waterworks again... Then 'Dave' (aka Alan) was being really sweet, which is incredibly unusual and scary, and i was off again giving his shoulder a good soaking. Honestly, they should bundle me off to a third world country, i could provide water for a whole village the way things are going... I suppose alot of stress has been building up that i haven't noticed, and it's all suddenly letting itself out now. But i feel good... For some reason, all the moping and bitching and being generally moody with everyone has made me feel a whole lot better and i'm not sure why... Or maybe it's all the crying out of eyes heart and soul that's done it XD *sigh* i don't know, i suppose this is what life's all about at the end of the day... Coming across obsticals, throwing a tantrum, hitting them with a stick and then trying to figure out a way to get over them. Whatever. I've got my friends, i've got my family again, and somewhere out there i know i've still got my Joey... I also have a dog, but i haven't actually seen her since Monday night o____O I need a cat cuddle.. where is my stupid cat when i need him?? Probably roboting around outside with smarties tubes on his legs... I swear he likes it... That's probably the equivilant of being a drag queen in the cat world.. poor little bugger.. Ah well. Heroes is on now and it feels like forever since i last watched it. I need my fix. I'll probably come back on and rant again at some point, since my mind is still buzzing with things to wtf at... Yes. Now. Away. Before i start bloody crying again.

</pointless ramble>

Xaldin: I like graaapes!
Riku: LIAR!!!!

XD XD XD Omg ROFLMAOFOC XD ...I shouldn't find that half as funny as i do... But... XD XD XD

The Stupid Files is my new crack XD

I'm a gorgeous slut who looks at porn 24/7 XD XD XD Omfg, rofl.

Now you try!

1st letter of 1st name

A- Fabulous
B-Gorgeous
C-Pretty
D-Popular
E-Gangster
F-Girly
G-Dyke
H-Sweet
I-Retarded
j-Emotional
K-Lovely
L-Beautiful
M-Slutty
N-Preppy
O-Hot
P-Gay
Q-Punky
R-Hot
S-Sexy
T- Very Sexy
U-Ugly
V-Wonderful
W-Geeky
X-Bitchy
Y-Under-appreciated
Z-Over-appreciated


Now the Third letter in your middle name (if you dont have one use your last name):

A-pornstar
B- skank
C-Bitch
D-Obsesser
E-Fucker
F-Retard
G-Queen
H-Slut
I-Girl
J-Goth
K-Nerd
L-Motherfucker
M-Sex machine
N-Alcoholic
O-Geek
P-Babe
Q-Crackwhore
R- Beauty queen
S-Prince (ess)
T-Whore
U-Cry Baby
V-Jackass
W-Punk
X-Scardy Cat
Y-Coward
Z-Chocoholic


Now What Color Is the Shirt You Are Wearing:

Red- Who's Good With My Hands
purple- Who Looks At Porn 24/7
Orange- Who Likes It In The Butt
Yellow- Who Wants To Have Sex With You
Green- Who will do anything for Sex
Pink- Who Will Rock Your World
blue- Who wants to fuck everyday
White- Who everyone wants to screw
Brown- Who Wears Big Sunglasses
Black- Who Will Do Anything For Crack
Gray- who gives great head
None-who is a beast in bed

NOW REPOST THIS WITH THE NAME & STATEMENT YOU GOT
BEGINNING WITH " I'm a

aaah rofl. I have just discovered something. I can't make rollies. At all. I've never tried before, but my dad makes it look so easy, i assumed it would be a piece of piss... It wasn't XD I was on webcam to Em when i discovered this.

Emily: What in the hell are you doing?
Me: Making a rollie.. Or trying too <_< >_>
Emily: You're failing right now...
Me: *chucking baccy everywhere like a retard* yeah i know.
Emily: I thought you didn't smoke anyway..?
Me: I don't, i need it for Alex's art project. There we go *holds up triangular cigarette with baccy hanging out one end*
Emily: OMG XD You fail XD
Me: Yes. Yes i do.

So yeah.. i think i'll just nick one of someone else XD i did discover that my family has a stash of lighters in the cupboard o_O no idea why, but i've nicked one... Ahahaha, i just found the whole 'trying and failing to roll a cig' fiasco very funny indeed. I may just ask my dad to roll one for me... He probably will XD

That's all i have to say.

</ramble>

ROFL. That's all that needs to be said. On msn earlier (Emily the Great is Emily.. Kel is Kelli off RS.. And Happy Little Boozer is moi!)

{Emily the Great} Ima eat y'all now says:
YOU WHORES DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!!!

~~~Kel~~~ I wuv my snoogle flump bum <333 LULLZ! says:
We know more than you Em. You're delusional. Xaldin has a fuzzy butt.

//Happy Little Boozer\\ {Bring me my doink doink!} says:
ROFL OMG FOC!!!

{Emily the Great} Ima eat y'all now says:
Good god, are you alright?

//Happy Little Boozer\\ {Bring me my doink doink!} says:
I'm failing on the carpet. Fuzzy butt XD XD Just... Ew!

~~~Kel~~~ I wuv my snoogle flump bum <333 LULLZ! says:
YES! See Em, there is nothing attractive about the fuzzy butt monkey boy. I mean, sideburns?!?!

{Emily the Great} Ima eat y'all now says:
Oh STFU you two, I like his butt fuzz.

XD XD XD Ok... You, whoever you are, may not find this as funny as i do but... STFU!! I found it hysterical. That's actually going as my new screen name quote thing. 'I like his butt fuzz' XD XD XD ROFL!!! I don't know why, but that nearly made me pee myself laughing... I love the conversations i have on msn, i really do... Oooh, for those of you who have no idea what we are talking about, we are discussing Xaldin (from Orgy XIII.. Sorry, Organization XIII) and his attractiveness (or lack thereof.) ...Yes, this is the kind of sad, lame, nerdy stuff we talk about. Because we're just cool like that. But yeah, Em thinks he's hot, Kel hates him, i'm neutral. How do we know he has butt fuzz? ...I don't know XD We just do.

There, sorry, that's my pointless ramble for today. I just found that way too funny... Butt fuzz... Omg, butt fuzz... I will never be able to take life seriously ever again... Butt fuzz... *wanders off giggling to self*

</ramble>

ROFL, i owe my art teacher big time XD My mum has been completely set these last few days on sending me to Deeside college. She's refused to listen to anything i've had to say on the matter, and she'd even booked me an interview tomorrow. But then, lo and behold, she decided to ring my old art teacher Mr. Taylor. AND HE STOOD UP FOR ME! He said sending me to Deeside college would be a massive mistake and that only the real no-future no-hope people go there. He told my mum to give in and let me go to 6th form or she'll never here the end of it from me (he knows me so well XD) He's told me which courses i should take and how hard they're going to be and he's warning the new art teacher about me (git -_-).. But even so, it's thanks to him that i'm definately going to 6th form. I have to do another year of maths though *growl* bum. Buuut it's my own fault, so i won't complain TOO much XD I owe him big time now though, he'll probably have me cleaning his artroom every day for the rest of my life for this XD I'm in a very good mood now though, so i think i might take some art requests.. i MIGHT. I haven't decided yet XD

</ramble>

Waaaaaaaaaaa. I'm such a bloody procrastinator >___< Today i'm supposed to be sorting out my phone (which i've been putting off for weeks), cleaning my leather trousers (which are nice and muddy after BOA), and finishing off my room so i can put some blinds up and forget about it XD Instead, i've been sitting in my room drawing and occasionally throwing something heavy so it sounds like i'm cleaning =___='' I fail at life so much, i deserve to be shot! I just can't find any motivation at the moment.. 6th form starts in a few weeks and i basically need to get my act together. Sooo, as soon as i'm done typing this, i'm going downstairs and getting on the phone to those irritating people at customer services and i'm going to make them fix my phone whether they want to or not. Then i'm going to bloody well saddle soap my leathers till they're shining. THEN i will do my room and do a damned good job of it and put the blinds up myself, be damned if my parents are doing it for me. FINALLY i will collapse in a heap on the floor and refuse to move. Actually no, i'll finish the colouring i'm doing for Tsome over on ET, THEN i'll collapse in a heap on the floor and refuse to move. GOOD BAI!!!!

</ramble>

GAAAAAAH. Why must parents be so bloody indecisive?! "You're going to 6th form, you're not going to 6th form, you're going to 6th form, you're not going to 6th form, ooh look there's a coooow" ...They just have no idea. My general plan is that i'm going whether they want me to go or not. I want to go, i want to do A Levels, and i'd like to do a darn sight better in those than i have in my GCSE's. I KNOW i made a big old screw up of my GCSE's. I know i did badly. I know i'm a bad person who deserves to die in a ditch with poo on my head. I am capable of recognising these things. I also know that i am a human being (ohoho), and as a human being i happen to be very good at cocking things up. But you know what else i am? I'M BRITISH!!!! Yes. And we British people were born to just muddle along in our own time and do things the way we see fit. AND COMPLAIN ABOUT IT THE WHOLE TIME MIGHT I ADD!!! So that is what i intend to do. I intend to do my A Levels in a very British fashion, then i'll worry about the future when i get there. That seems fair to me. Every man woman and child is entitled to cock up a few times, surely? Especially me, as i'm a teenager, and we're always entitled to a bit more of everything than everybody else. That's how the world works! So. I have explained this to my mother and she looked at me in that way that she does. That same look she uses when i'm colouring the dog's eyebrows in or putting Smarties tubes on the cat's legs. Anyway, she looked at me and then she told me to go to bed and stop being stupid and we'd discuss this in the morning. I don't know how she plans to do that. Her and my brother are going ferret racing. Yes, this is what my family does in it's free time. They're going ferret racing and i'm spending the day with some Japanese person that my neighbor knows who is apparently going to become a Japanese tutor. Or something. And apparently they want a work experience student.. So i am her work experience O_O which is quite odd. Oh well, i'm sure she'll be nice. Well this was fun, i'm going to watch Dylan Moran now. Nighty bye.

</ramble>

I smoked with a cat because i'm sexy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! XD XD

You try now.

pick the month you were born in
1 - I banged
2 - I killed
3 - I ran shirtless with
4 - I raped
5 - I killed
6 - I cuddled with
7 - I needed
8 - I ate out
9 - I ran naked with
10 - I stabbed
11 - I slept with
12- I smoked with
Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 - the kool-aid man
02 - you
03 - a pornstar
04 - a toothbrush
05 - a horse
06 - a bag of weed
07 - a prostitute
08 - your mom
09 - a jew
10 - a homo
11 - the trojan man
12 - Paris Hilton
13 - a whore
14 - a cat
15 - a pickle
16 - paris hilton
17 - a bisexual
18 - a dog
19 - an orange
20 - a crackhead
21 - a bowl of cereal
22 - a easter egg
23 - my ex
24 - a condom
25 - a jar of honey
26 - a lesbian
27 - a homeless guy
28 - a french fry
29 - your dealer
30 - a stripper
31 - Ur grandma
Pick the color of shirt you are wearing
White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy
Pink - Because the lil people told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm a pimp and your jealous
Polka Dots - because I hate my life
Purple - because I'm gay
Gray - because I love marijuana
Other - because I have double D's
Green - because I'm beautiful
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Brown - because i had to
Shirtless - because I've got abs

Yes, well, i found it funny. I have my thumb nail stuck in a pencil sharpener. That's how much of a genius i am. God.

I just got back from the doctors. I have glandular fever. Glandular fucking fever. I can't speak, which is hell for someone as talkative as me. I can't eat, which is even more hell as i happen to love eating. I'm not allowed alcohol (i like how that was the first thing the doctor pointed out) dairy products or any solid food for a week. A WEEK!!! Ok, alcohol i can just about live without.. Dairy products, same story (the Milk Maid is temporarily going into hybernation).. But no solid food?!?! That's just so cruel!! Why do you do it to me, God?! Well i know full well why i've got this fooking thing. I'm blaming Bloodstock, large amounts of alcohol and too many guys. Glandular fever is also known as the kissing disease. Oh joy, now i have to put up with weeks of my parents taunting me because i have the fooking kissing disease >___< I really REALLY want to eat something.. I refuse to live off fruit juice and soup for the next week. I might have a boil in the bag fish thingy... Fish is squishy, it won't do too much damage, right? Grrrrrrrr. I need to find out who is responsible for giving me this, and i need to kill them. Yes. I'm going to eat some ham, no solid foods be damned. Pfffft.

</ramble>

Just got back from Bloodstock... I can't speak. Seriously. Doing a pirate voice for 3 days straight is very tiring on the old vocal chords. And you can't get rid of the accent once you start. Which can be problematic. Oh well. I have to be walking the scurvy mutt now, so i'll rant about Bloodstock later, preferably when i remember how to type. Y'arr.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A BRITISH 90s KID IF...


YOU CAN SING THE RAP TO "THE FRESH PRINCE OF BELL AIR"

YOU'VE WORN LEGGINGS AND FELT COOL.

YOU USED TO LOVE PLAYING WITH YOUR "PUPPY IN MY POCKETS"

YOU REMEMBER WHEN IT WAS ACTUALLY WORTH GETTING UP ON A SATURDAY MORNING TO WATCH LIVE & KICKING OR SM:TV.

YOU HAD A HUGE FRINGE AT SOME POINT IN YOUR CHILDHOOD.

YOU REMEMBER READING AND WATCHING "GOOSEBUMPS"

YOU TOOK PLASTIC CARTOON LUNCH BOXES TO SCHOOL.

YOU KNOW THE WORDS FROM THE SHAKEY JAKE MILKSHAKE ADVERTS

YOU REMEMBER THE CRAZE OF YO-YOS AND TAMAGOTCHI'S

YOU STILL GET THE URGE TO SAY "NOT" AFTER EVERY SENTENCE.
NOT.

YOU KNEW THAT KIMBERLY, THE PINK RANGER, AND TOMMY, THE GREEN RANGER WERE MEANT TO BE.

YOU COLLECTED POKEMON CARDS.

YOU PLAYED AND/OR COLLECTED POGS.

YOU HAD A WEIRD ALIEN THAT LIVED IN GOOEY STUFF IN A PLASTIC 'POD' AND THOUGHT IF YOU STUCK 2 BACK TO BACK THEY WOULD HAVE A BABY!

YOU WATCHED THE ORIGINAL POSTMAN PAT, FIREMAN SAM AND NINJA TURTLES.

YIKES PENCILS WERE THE BEST!-WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?

YOU REMEMBER WHEN THE NEW BEANIE BABIES WERE ALWAYS SOLD OUT

YOU GOT YOUR MUM TO BUY 'BN' BISCUITS

YOU USED TO WEAR THOSE STICK ON EARRINGS, NOT ONLY ON YOUR EARS BUT AT THE CORNERS OF YOUR EYES.

YOU KNOW THE MACERENA BY HEART.

"TALK TO THE HAND" ENOUGH SAID.

YOU REMEMBER THE TIME BEFORE LITERACY AND NUMERACY HOUR EXISTED.

YOU THOUGHT BRAIN FROM "PINKEY AND THE BRAIN" WOULD FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD.

YOU REMEMBER BUM BAGS.

YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO BE ON FUN HOUSE

YOU COLLECTED TAZOS.

2 WORDS, SPICE GIRLS.

Woooow, i've reached a new level of sadosity.. I'm sitting here eating ice cream, CGing, drinking cider and listening to the Yu-Gi-Oh theme tune on repeat XD How lame am i... Oh well ^__^

You know what? I should be in bed. But i'm not. I keep doing this. I HAVE to get up early tomorrow so i can do my room, or mum is going to have such a spazz. It's nowhere near finished =__= i'm going to have to just throw things away, it's getting stupid. Bin liners ahoy!

Anyway, i am actually going to bed now because i know if i don't go now i'll be up all night again and refuse to get up in the morning. So yeah, BAI!!!

Dear God,
Hello again. Reading back my old diary entries, i found another one of these sort of letter type things, and it amused me so i'm doing another one.
No real complaints other than that you STILL haven't repaired my body clock. It's 5am. Why aren't i tired?
Question... Why has my cat cheered up all of a sudden? I'm not complaining, just curious, as he is usually a grumpy wazzock.
And thank you for sending my muse back to me. I don't know where he went, but he has gained three tattoos. I'm sure there is a logical explanation.
Other than that i have nothing of worth to say... Other than to apologise for my previous reference to the flying bread roll. I take it completely seriously, honestly.
If i ever saw a flying bread roll, mind you, i'd probably buy myself a straight jacket and sign myself in at the asylum.
But that's just me.
If it had cheese on it that would be a different matter entirely.
I'm done now.
Your loyal whatsit
NCV

(I quite enjoy doing these letters XD ...i will write to lots of people... Who next? The Prime Minister maybe, advising him to stay away from bombs, war, death, distruction and anything else like that... I may send him a Care Bears video...)

Hmmm... I just watched a program about a serial killer called BTK who managed to avoid the police for 30 years... It was kinda scary watching his trial at the end =/ makes you wonder who you can actually trust, and who might be out to kill you... I'm not a paranoid person really, so i'm not going to go and question all my friends and family to make sure they're not serial killers but... It really does make you wonder how safe we really are... I'm sitting here thinking 'Yeah, but it's never going to happen HERE in this poxy little village' when it could. I'm betting all the people who have been killed by serial killers have been the 'It'll never happen to me.' kind... Hrrm... Really makes me want to write a story... Like inside the mind of a serial killer. I may have to do that now *ponders* it would be interesting... And it would give me the opportunity to research serial killers and murderers and try and find out what makes them tick... This is going to be a fun little project for me over the rest of the summer XD Researching mass murderers. Whoopee. Oh well, it'll give me something to think about. Oooooh, it really makes me want to take Psychology... I think that's the course that you take at AS level, it's got something to do with the mind of a murderer... ARGH! The need to write is now taking over my brain, must start stuff now. BAI!

</slightly weird ramble>

I don't rant enough in this diary... mainly because i rant ALOT in my ET diary, and then run out of things to say... Oh well, this short entry makes me feel better.

</completely pointless and very short ramble>

One more thing, why do guys always find it odd that i like videogames? No, i don't like them, i'm completely and utterly hooked and dependant on them. I also make room for a social life. Aren't i amazing. But seriously, girls can sit up for 12 hours playing videogames too you know! Ok, most girls don't, can't and wouldn't... But i can, would and in fact DO!!! So shuddup guys who think only guys can be "proper gamers" (Dan G, this means you). The only difference between male gamers and female gamers is male gamers can't do anything else. Female gamers can do lots of things all at once, like keeping in touch with friends, arranging stuff, baby-sitting annoying siblings, making dinner (Yes i did actually. We had chicken sandwiches and salad. Ha.) AND gaming. It's because we're awesome like that ^___^ Multi-tasking ftw! I am of course being incredibly sexist right now, and thusly also being a hypocrite. I'm very sorry, guys i do love you really, i just hate people assuming that i can't do something because i'm a girl. Like Dave did when his computer whent phut.

Computer: *fizz whirrr breeeeeeeeeeeeeeak*
Me: *prods computer* i know what's wrong...
Dave: Bex, let me do that, fixing computers is a blokes job, i don't want you br-
Me: It's fixed.
Dave: .......But... you're a girl.
Me: Are you sure? Oh, yes, i suppose i am.

So yeaaaaaaaaah... I'm allowed to be a little bit sexist, because he was... karma and all that jazz <_< >_> I know what i'm talking about... Anyway i'm shutting up now, i have no idea why i even started this entry...

</ramble>

Well helloooo there!! *waves* nyeheheh... Well, i'm back from holidays and it was awesome as always! It's great getting the chance to see all my family again X3 Bah, i'm really tired now though, i can't be bothered ranting about hols too much right now... I'll talk tomorrow, i have to go and make sure my dad hasn't turned my ps2 off... There is a teenage stubbornosity saga going on in my house at the moment.. and it's not me suffering from teenage stubbornosity... It's my brother XD Mum got me Naruto Ultimate Ninja when she went into Selsey and left me behind in Bracklesham Bay to roast on the beach, and since we got home my brother has been playing it incessantly (yeah, great, i get a new game but im not allowed to play it...) ..He was having trouble with something and we ended up completing every scenario today.. problem is, i dont have a memory card that actually WORKS anymore.. And my brother refuses to turn off the bloody playstation until we save the game.. So i have to go out tomorrow morning and buy a bloody memory card so he can save the bloody game and we can all stop having a nervy spazz *shakes head* my family are a bunch of total wazzocks sometimes..

</ramble>

I just noticed that i STILL have a scar on my head from when i burnt myself with my straightners XD I hope it never goes away, i love that scar!

Anyway, this will be my last diary entry for a whole week!! I'm going awaaaaaay to the south coast this week X3 I'm really looking forward to seeing all my family again, and i will report when i get back!

Until then, bye everyone! Love you all lots and lots X3

</ramble>