[♫The Awesomeless!♫]'s diary

79913  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-08-10
Written: (6681 days ago)
Next in thread: 79914

Hello All! How Are U All?....I am Okies! Bored but OKies!

79787  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-08-09
Written: (6682 days ago)

I WANT THIS GUY!

Im the guy who will text you every single morning and tell you good morning and every single night to tell you sweet dreams.

Im the guy who will hold you when you're crying and wipe away your tears.

Im the guy who still thinks you're beautiful with no makeup on wearing sweats and a big t-shirt.

Im the guy who won't pressure you to do things you dont want to.

Im the guy who will show up at your house with soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.

Im the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

Im the guy who doesnt kiss and tell.

Im the guy who actually listens to you when you talk.

Im the guy who's excited all day because im looking forward to our date that night.

Im the guy who is content to just be able to hold you and wants nothing more.

I'm the guy who can't help but smile when you walk into the room.

Im the guy who's perfectly content with staying in and watching movies and cuddling.

Im the guy who won't lie to you about where he's going or where he's been or who he's been with.

Im the guy who gets butterflies when he hears your name.

I'm the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends he loves you.

Im the guy who doesnt mess with other girls when i have you

Im the guy who doesn't care about your imperfections and loves you more for them.

I'm the guy who will hold you while we watch the sunset.

I'M THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.
79430  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-08-05
Written: (6686 days ago)

I Love The Way My Fingers Just Fall Into Yours I Love How Your Taste Still Lingers On My Lips After That i Special Goodnight Kiss, I Love How Whenever I Go To Call Someone I AutomaticallyDial Your Number, I Love How You Look At Me With Those Gorgeous Eyes And Then You Smile That Sweet Smile.. And I Know Right There, That You Will Always Be Mine.. I Love How You Hug Me With The Intention Of Never Letting Go.. I Love i You More Than Words Could i Ever Show


I mAy NoT gEt 2 See U As 0fTeN aS I
Like I mAy n0t GeT 2 h0Ld U iN
mY aRms aLL ThRu thE NiTe*BuT
deEp DoWn I Kn0w iTs TrU
No MaTTa WhAt
I'LL aLwAys LoVe U

And more sweet stuff that i dont kno who its for!

79429  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-08-05
Written: (6686 days ago)


I Loved U Once...<3
U Loved Me Not...</3
I Loved U Twice...<3
But I 4Got...<3
...
U Neva Loved me...</3
U Neva Will...</3
But even So...<3
I love u Still...<3
4Get the times he walked by...
4get the times he made u cry...
4get the times he spoke ur name...
Rember ur feelins arnt the same...
4get the times he held ur hand...
4get the sweet things if u can...
4get those times and dont pretend
Remmber now hes just a freind...

That is 4 sumone that i kno never really wanted 2 be w/ me! but yet he did! Im not sayin who and if u ask i wont respond.....just let it be known

78183  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-27
Written: (6695 days ago)

You cant say "i love you" unles you know you do. look into ur heart to find the truth not a need. Ture love can only come from ture happiness and ture happiness has to be found in the heart. Never say "i love you" unles you know its in your heart and not in your head...

77535  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-07-23
Written: (6699 days ago)
Next in thread: 77536, 77555

These Are My Diary Entires From When I Was At Camp!

Here goes

I cant believe My Uncle would do that!
He told Skyler theat His Uncle Was a crackhead
That shot him self which is true but he didnt tell him all the goodstuff about him! He didnt even tell Him I wasHis Cuzin!!!

When Skyler Mentioned Him I wanted to Die I almost Burst into Tears!I wanted to go back to the cabin and slit the shit outta my wrist if i coulve found my siccors i would have! I didnt kno where they were! I almost used a needle I found to cut my wrist!

There was Alot more but im not gonna put it on here!!!.....


This Is a Really gay poem I wrote!

[*Hugs*]
My Sweet Love
My Only Love
not mine 2 hug
buthers tohug
forever pain
for you pain
when the blood
rushes down
u wonder
why I frown
I frown for you
I break down for you
can u see how i feel
do u see my heart peal?
for you id die
for u i cry
you are the one i will
forever love
You I wish to hug
Till your mine 2 hug!

ya i kno its gay!!!</h1>

Missing: </h2>
76079  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-07-14
Written: (6708 days ago)

[I.AM]: A CRAZY BITCH


[I.LOVE]: ♥Mario♥,♥Ashley♥,♥Jackie♥, and ♥Ashley♥


[I.HAVE]: RED HAIR w/ Blonde


[I.HATE]: Not seeing him!!♥♥


[I.MISS]: Mario♥


[I.WANT]: 2 be 4ever Happy!


[I.FEEL]: Sick


[I.WONDER]: When I'll See Him♥


[I.SMELL]: NO I DONT!!!!!!!


[I.LIKE]: POTATOES!!!!


[I.EAT]: CHEEZ-ITz


[I.SAY]: Wong Chung Likes French Fries!


[I.THINK]: uh w/what?


[I.TRY]: 2 be happy!


[I.HUG]: ♥Mario♥, Ash♥, Jak Jak♥, & Ashley♥!


[I.KISS]: ♥Mario♥


[I.TALK]: 2 whom talks 2 me!


[I.CARE]: About...Lotz of ppl!


[I.ASK]: If Im good enough?!


[I.NEED]: uh....u!


[I.WISH]: 4 a newbox of CHEEZ-ITz


[I.FEAR]: Lonlieness!


[I.HEAR]: Voices that dont like u!


[I.CRAVE]: sleep!


[I.SEARCH]: for what im missing!


[I.REGRET]: Losing u the first time!

75620  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-07-12
Written: (6710 days ago)

How do I kno
That the one that
I love, loves me 4 me
and not my body?
when im around him
all he does is mess e/
or compliment my ass or tits
sure...I like the attention but
I want love...like take a bullet
for one another love...
not the petty bullshit that people
mistake as love!
I want true FUCKIN LOVE!!!!

and for those who dont kno who im talkin
about u can keep it that way
but he is the father of luigi!

75615  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-07-12
Written: (6710 days ago)

yes I LIKE jake but I thought I LOVED Mike
Since his feelings wernt in return I had
2 let go love!

fuck love and its
meanings
fuck love theres no
healings
no healings for all
the pain loves caused
no healings no healing at all!

My love wasnt enough for him 2 stay
though I loved him in everyway!

FUCK IT FUCKIT ALL!

74950  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-07-07
Written: (6715 days ago)

(x) <- means youve done it
(_) <- means you haven't

START:
(x) snuck out of the house?
(_) gotten lost in your city?
(x) saw a shooting star?
(_) been to any other countries besides Canada?
(X) had a serious surgery?
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas?
(X) kissed a stranger?
(x) hugged a stranger?
(_) been arrested?
(x) laughed and had milk/water come out of your nose?
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator?
(x) jumped up and down in the elevator to get stuck?
(x) swore at your parents?
(x) been in love?
(x) been close to love?
(_) been to a casino?
(_) been skydiving?
(_) broken a bone?
(x) been high?
(x) been drunk?
(x) skipped school?
(x) flashed someone?
(x) gotten in a fist fight?
(x) been suspended?
(x) had anger management?
(x) done the splits?
(x) played spin the bottle?
(x) gotten stitches?
(x) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour?
(X) bitten someone?
(X) made someone bleed?
(x) been to Niagara Falls?
(x) gotten the chicken pox?
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex?
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(_) crashed into someones car?
(_) been to Japan?
(_) ridden in a taxi?
(X) Been dumped?
(?) had a crush on someone of the same sex?
(X) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back?
(x) gone on a blind date?
(X) lied to a friend?
(_) had a crush on a teacher?
(_) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans?
(_) been to Europe?
(_) slept with a co-worker?
(_) been to Africa?
(_) Driven over 400 miles in one day?
(x) Been to Canada?
(_) Been to Mexico?
(_) Been on a plane?
(x) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show-?
(_) Thrown up in a bar?
(x) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire?
(x) Eaten Sushi?
(x) Been skiing/snowboarding?
(x) Met someone in person from the internet?
(x) Cheated on a test?
(_) lost a child?
(_) gone to college?
(_) graduated college?
(x) done hard drugs?
(x) tried killing yourself?
(x) fired a gun?
(X) purposely hurt yourself?
(x) taken painkillers?
(x) been married?
(_) gotten divorced?
(_) had children?
(x) seen someone?
(x) had a close friend die?
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

74843  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-07-07
Written: (6715 days ago)


WHAT COMES TO MiND WHEN YOU HEAR...
1. Lotion: lubrqacant
2. Rubber: condom
3. CD: music
4. Bed: soft
5. Paper: weed
6. Run: cops
7. Candle: wax
8. Mouse pad: computer
9. Sweatshirt: hoodie
10. Door: closed
11. Pictures: internet
12. Pencil: write
13. Sex: FUCK ME!!!!!! lol

74433  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-07-04
Written: (6718 days ago)

1.face-eye color:hazel
2.hair length:LONG
3.hair color:Red
4.makeup: dark blackeyeliner!

1.body- Athetic!
2.BOOBS- I GOT HUGE KNOCKERS!!
3. BOOTY- I gotz a fat ass!

1.attiudes- IM ight
2.but dont mess with me cuz the bicth in me comes out.
3.i got in several fights and won all.

My own profile
1. name: Sissy
2. sex: female
3. religion: Im not really sure!
4. age: ask
5. fav music: HardxCore Shit!
6. fav rap artist: eminem!
7. fav old skool rapper: ??????
8. fav band: ICP BIZOTCH!

heritage: caucasain 
Your fears: I'lllose mybaby!
Your perfect pizza: EXTRA cheese!
Goal you'd like to achieve: keep love!
Your most overused phrase: butter my butt and call me a bizkit!
Your first thought when you wake up:Ugh...another day!
Your best physical feature: BOOBS!
Your bedtime: when i want to
Your most missed memory: my dad
Soda:ugh...im alergic!
Best fast food joint:SPEEDS!
Single or group dates: both
Adidas or Nike:Adidas
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla!
Cappuccino or coffee: cappuccino
Smoke: sometimes
Cuss: i fuckin do
Sing: I suck but ya...
Take a shower every day: yes i may forget on weekends
Have a crush(es): mayyyyybe
Do you think you've been in love: FUCK YA!
Want to go to college: yes
Want to get married:yes
Believe in yourself:HA HA HA!
Get motion sickness: no
Think you're a health freak: no
Get along with your parents: YA!
Like thunderstorms: yes
Play an instrument: yes
In the past month...
Drank alcohol: yea
Smoked: yes
Done a drug: no
Had sex:no
Made out:yes
Gone on a date:Yes
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: yes
Eaten sushi: no
Been on stage: no
Gone skating:yes
Made homemade cookies:yes
Gone skinny-dipping: no
Dyed your hair: yes
Stolen anything: ugh...mayybe
Ever...
Played a game that required removal of clothing: yes
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: wos asking?
Been caught doing something that you shouldn't be: DUH!
Been called a tease: yes
Gotten beaten up: FUCK NO!
Shoplifted: Whos asking?
Changed who you were to fit in: NOPE IM ME DEAL W/ IT!
Age you hope to be married:when ever i getproposed to by my love!
Numbers and names of children:ugh... i dont kno but i want a boi named David!
Describe your dream wedding: IDK!
How do you want to die?: I DONT CARE!
Where do you want to go to college:Harverd
What do you want to be when you grow up:Lawyer
What country would you most like to visit: Jamica
In a boy...
Best eye color: Brown
Best hair color: dark
Short or long hair: Long
Height: dont matter
Best weight: dont matter
Best articles of clothing: dont really care
Best first date location: Theatre
Best first kiss location: couch
Number of drugs taken: ugh...?
Number of people I could trust with my life: 2
Number of CDs that I own: to many
Number of piercing: 2
Number of tattoos: 0, but i want one
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper:1, cuz if my fathers death
Number of scars on my body: to many 2 count!
Number of things in my past that I regret: none!
Fav Tv show:South Park!

74357  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-07-03
Written: (6719 days ago)

FAVORITES!!!!

Colors: Blue, black
Outdoor activity: walking
Indoor activity: Draw, write, computers
Freinds: Ashley, Jackie, Mikey, and others...
Food: uh...CHEETOS!!
Movie: The Exercist!
Actor: Johnny Dep *sigh*
Band: ICP!!!!
Sports: Sk8boarding, basketball!
Animals: wolfs!
Boy name: uh...David!
Girl name: uh...idk!
Day: May 28th!
song: ICP- Boogy Woogy Man
random things to do: PARTY!, hang, and play on the computer!
T.V show: SouthPark!
74246  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-07-02
Written: (6720 days ago)

HAvE yOu eVeR...

1) Dated one of your best friends -yes
2) Loved/Liked - Yes.
3) Cried - Yes.
4) Drank alcohol - Yes.
5) Done drugs - Yes.
6) Broken the law - Yes.
7) Broken a bone - No
8) Cheated on a test - Yes.
9) Skinny dipped - Yes.
10) Played Truth or Dare - Yes.
11) Ridden in a fire truck - Yes.
12) Come close to dying - A few times.
13) Burned yourself - Yes.
14) Given someone a piggy back/shoulder ride - Yes.
15) Eaten a worm/mud pie - No.
16) Stayed up till four on the phone - Yes (maybe l8r.)
17) Tipped over a port-a-potty - Yes
18) Fell asleep while eating - No.
19) Met someone famous - Yes.
20) Been in a school play - No.
21) Cried in public - Yes.
22) Seen someone die - Yes.
23) Been in a fist fight - Yes.
24) Given someone a bruise - Yes.
25) Gotten a bruise - Yes.
26) Knocked somone out - Yes.
27) Been knocked out - No.
28) Flipped any vehicles - No.
29) Cut someone - Yes.
30) Been cut - Yes by me and others.
31) Burnt any buildings down - No.
32) Sex in public - No.
33) Mooned someone - Yes.
34) Acted kidnapped in a car - No.
35) Flashed someone - Yes.
36) Kicked an ass - Yes.
37) Blew something up - Yes.
38) Caught your yard on fire - almost...
39) Threw a firecracker at someone - Yes.
40) Been in any wars - No.
41) Stayed up all night - Yes.
42) Slept all day - Yes.
43) Watched the sunrise - Yes.
44) Rode a motorcycle - on the back of one.
45) Driven a car - Yes.
46) Wrecked a car - Yes.
47) Gotten a tity twister - Yes.
48) Given a tity twister - Yes.
49) Posed for a nude pic- No.
50) Been suspended - Yes.
51) Been expelled - So so close!.
52) Been arrested - No.
53) Been in jail - No.
54) Given someone a bath - Yes.
55) Smoked - Yes.
56) Bungee jumped - No.
57) Made yourself throw-up - Yes.
58) Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? - Yes.

I see: Dead People.
I need: to stop eating.
I find: a half smoke ciggarete
I want: You.
I have: CHEETOS!YAY!.
I wish: It would rain.
I love: Pain.
I hate: love.
I miss: My Jackie,and Mikey!.
I fear: I wont c them 4ever!.
I feel: Sadness.
I hear: Silence.
I smell: tears.
I crave: a razor.
I search: pointlessly.
I wonder: To much.
I regret: Nothin!.

1) name- Sum1 .
(2) piercings- Ears.
(3) tattoos- None.
(4) height- 5'0, methinks.
(5) shoe size- 7.5or 8
(6) hair color- Red.
(7) length- Middle of muh back.
(8) siblings- 7

LAST...
(9) movie you rented- uh...idk
(10) movie you bought- me4got
(11) song you listened to- ICP tilt-A-Wirl
(12) song that was stuck in your head- ICP Homies
(13) CD you bought – Korn.
(14) CD you listened to- A mix.
(15) person you've called- Ashley.
(16) person that's called you – Jake.
(17) TV show you've watched- uh...i4 got.
(18) person you were thinking of- Mikey

DO...
(19) you have a bf or gf- Yes.
(20) you have a crush on someone- I do.
(21) you wish you could live somewhere else- Kind of.
(22) you think about suicide- I do.
(23) you believe in online dating- used 2.
(24) others find you attractive- I guess.
(25) you want more piercings- Yes.
(26) you drink- once in a while.
(27) you do drugs- whos askin?.
(28) you smoke- Used 2 but had 2 quit.
(29) you like cleaning- Only when I'm extremly happy which is rarley.
(30) you like roller coasters-I LOVE roller coasters.
(31) you write in cursive or print- Print.
(32) you carry a donor card- Nah.

FOR OR AGAINST...
(33) long distance relationships- Iffy.
(34) using someone- Against!
(35) killing people- Some people deserve to die.
(36) teenage smoking- For.
(37) premarital sex- For, I s'pose.
(38) driving drunk- against.
(39) gay/lesbian relationship- FOR!!!!!
(40) soap operas- Agains!who needs moredrama?

FAVORITE...
(41) food- none
(42) song- Tilt-A-wirl ICP
(43) thing to do- Walk in the rain
(44) thing to talk about- idk
(45) sport- Sk8boardin!
(46) drink- Pina Colda
(47) clothes- uh...whatever...
(48) movie- The exercist
(49) band/singer- ICP ALL THE WAY!
(50) holiday- Halloween.

HAVE YOU...
(51) ever cried over a guy/girl- Oh yeah.
(52) ever lied to someone- Sure have.
(53) ever been in a fist fight- Yup.
(54) ever been arrested- Nah. Not yet.

NUMBER...
(55) of times I have been in love? Im not sure
(56) of times I have had my heart broken? Alot.
(57) of hearts I have broken? Oh geez. I haven't any idea.
(61) of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life? A few.
(62) of people I consider my enemies? Alot
(63) of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? No clue
(64) of scars on my body? WAY TO MANY TOCOUNT!
(65) of things in my past that I regret? none.

FAVORITE...
(66) Disney movie- Fox andthe hound
(67) scent- Mikey.
(68) word (s)- Who cares?
(69) nickname- Sissy I guess!
(70) eye color- Hazel.
(71) flower- Black Rose
(72) piercing- Tounge

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
(73) pretty- NO WAY!.
(74) funny- I guess.
(75) hot- NOPE!! that’s my opinion.
(76) friendly- kinda
(77) amusing- Sure!
(78) ugly- In a way.
(79) loveable- Not really.
(80) pessimistic- Very much so.
(81) optimistic- Every once in a while.
(82) caring- To an extent.
(83) sweet- alil
(84) asshole- Yeah. Hah.

RANDOM...
(85) Spell your first name back wards- Ardnassac
(86) The story behind your user name- its my "goth" name! lol
(87) Are you straight? No!Im very much Crooked!
(88) Where do you live? A box!lol
(89) 4 words that sum you up- Unique, Odd, Crazy, Juggalette and pathetic!

DESCRIBE YOUR...
(90) Wallet- Black leather/ freaky design
(91) Hairbrush- light purple w/ agooey handle!
(92) Toothbrush- Acheap blue one! <333
(93) Jewelry worn daily- My beautiful Jelly Braclets, Darrlys Chain, hoop earrings, wrist band,broken heart chain, and rings!!!
(94) Shoes- Black Gazzlas or sum thing with black and pink werid designed shoelaces with a C on the tounge of each shoe made of needles! im hoping to get Converses soon!
(95) Handbag- My pockets!
(96) Favorite band shirt- My ICP Shirt!
(97) CD in stereo right now- Mix.
(98) What you are wearing now- Red shirt w/ writing all over and zipper pants!
(99) Hair- Dark Red with light red roots!
(100) Make up- Loads of black eyeliner and mascara!

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)-
(101) In my mouth- a CHEETO!
(102) In my head- Way to much to tell.
(103) Wishing- Nothing, really.
(104) After this- uh No clue!
(105) Talking to- IDK!.
(106) Eating- CHEETOS
(107) Fetish- Eyes.
(108) Person you wish you were with- Mikey, Ash, or Jackie!
(109) Something you're looking forward to in this up coming month- IDK!.
(110) Something that you are deathly afraid of- Gainign more weight!
(111) Do you like candles- I ADORE candles.
(112) Do you like the taste of blood- I do. Mm.
(113) Do you believe in love- I sure do.
(114) Do you believe in soul mates- Not really.
(115) Do you believe in love at first sight- Nah.
(116) Do you believe in God- IDK

74239  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-07-02
Written: (6720 days ago)

TO PLAY I NEVER.
PUT AN (x) IN FRONT OF THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE
AND A (_) ON THE THINGS THAT YOU HAVE DONE AT LEAST ONCE. ADD AN "I NEVER" OF YOUR OWN.
 
I NEVER…
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DRUNK
(_) I NEVER HAVE SMOKED POT
(_) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
( ) I NEVER HAVE KISSED A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(x) I NEVER CRASHED A FRIEND'S CAR
(X) I NEVER BEEN TO JAPAN
(X) I NEVER RODE IN A TAXI
(X) I NEVER HAD ANAL SEX
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN IN LOVE
(_) I NEVER HAD SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE HAD SEX IN PUBLIC
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPED
(_) I NEVER SHOPLIFTED
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN FIRED
(_) I NEVER BEEN IN A FIST FIGHT
(X) I NEVER HAD A THREESOME
(_) I NEVER SNUCK OUT OF MY PARENT'S HOUSE
(X) I NEVER BEEN TIED UP (SEXUALLY)
(X) I NEVER BEEN CAUGHT MASTURBATING
(_) I NEVER PISSED ON MYSELF
(X) I NEVER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX
(_) I NEVER BEEN ARRESTED
(_) I NEVER MADE OUT WITH A STRANGER
(X) I NEVER STOLE SOMETHING FROM MY JOB
(X) I NEVER WENT ON A BLIND DATE
(X) I NEVER LIED TO A FRIEND
(X) I NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON A TEACHER
(_) I NEVER SKIPPED SCHOOL
(x) I NEVER BEEN SKYDIVING
(_) I NEVER HAVE BEEN DUMPSTER DIVING
(_) I NEVER PUT MY PANTS ON MY HEAD RANDOMLY
(_) I NEVER WALKED IN ON FRIENDS HAVING SEX
(X) I NEVER HAVE BEEN CAUGHT HAVING SEX
(_) I NEVER RECIVED ORAL SEX
(_) I NEVER MASTURBATED
(_) I NEVER HAVE RECIEVED BJ/LICKED OUT
(_) I NEVER HIT ON MY FRIENDS BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND.
(_) I NEVER GAVE BJ/LICK OUT

73281  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-26
Written: (6726 days ago)
Next in thread: 73352

I finally got 2 c him! After so many dayz! i got to touch him i got 2 hug him i got 2 kiss him i got 2 kno hes still there!!!!! Yesterday I saw him!!!!

73280  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-26
Written: (6726 days ago)

Why does my mom take this? why does she keep takin ghim back? she fights w/ him we fight w/ him no one wants him around yet he alwayz comes back hes like the flu no one wants it but its there!!!!! I cant stand it! He alwayz talks about how Fat I am!!! How much I eat!!! How Crazy I am how much I need therapy!!!! I swear one of these times I'll show him crazy!!!!!! Theraphy doesnt work!!!!! Ive tryed it!!!! I hate it when my mom talks about how depressed I am!!! HELLO!!! ur fricken Boy friend makes it worse!!!!!! I never thought I was fat till he showed up!!!! now i kno im fat im huge!!!! I really need 2 lose weight!


I suffer from extreme Depresstion!!! and I can only blame it on me!!! I make the stupid choice of eating I make the stupid choice of guys!!! guys that I either hurt or get hurt by'!! Why cant I just make everyone happy???

well im gonna stop complaining to my diary now!!!! its not like its helping!!!!

urs truley
[♫The Awesomeless!♫] AKA Sissy

72177  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-06-19
Written: (6733 days ago)

[In a guy]
1.Older or younger? Older
2.Tall or short? Doesnt really matter
3.Thin or fat? Thin, but muscular
4.Long hair or short hair? long or Shaggy
5.Preferred hair colour? Darkish
6.Preferred eye colour? Hazel or Brown
7.Lips... what should they be like? plumpish and tasty
8.Good boy look or bad boy look? Bad boy
9.A serious look or a funny look? more funny! and playful!
10.Tattoo? Tatoos are sesxi so ya!
11.Accent or no accent? dont matter
12.With or without muscle? With!
13.Uses hair dye? dont matter
14.Wears sunglasses? dont care
15.With or without piercing? With
16.Wears caps? id care
17.Mind or body? either! or neither dont matter
18.Wears t-shirts or polo shirts? t-shirt!!!
19.Wears loose shorts or body fit shorts? Shorts? I DONT CARE!!!!
20.Quiet or talkative? Talkative.

71939  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2006-06-16
Written: (6736 days ago)
Next in thread: 71979

why am I alwayz sad? everyoen else is happy but yet my smile never comes its alwayz a frown! when I see others walk by as happy as can be it sickens me 2 kno i may never feel the same! when I get happy which is very rare! something happens and back comes the sadness! y does this keep happining?

70858  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-06-07
Written: (6745 days ago)

001: Name: Sissy
002: Nickname: Sedated
003: Country of living: U.S.A.
004: Birthdate: 28th May
005: heigth: 5'1
006: Eye colour: Hazel
007: Shoesize: 7 1/2
008: School/work: SKOOL SUX!
009: Do you smoke: used 2 but I quit!
010: Hobbies: Skatebaording, buggin ppl, hangin!
011: Brothers/Sisters: 5 brothers 3 sisters! (only 1 full blood and 1 half the rest are all step!)
012: Relationship: Madly in love w/ sum1!
013: Piercing(s): ears
014: Tattoo(s): nope
015: Country you want to go to: um.....idk!
017: Nicest person you met this year: idk!
018: Person you rather not have met this year: noone!
019: Who would you like to meet: the one im supposed 2 b w/ 4 eva (I think I might have met him but just in case)lol
020: Who do you admire most: Mario! hehe
021: Most sexy persons: Mario & Jackie!! mwa haha
022: Favorite Pyama: WTF!!
023: Favorite Car: big black trucks!
024: Favorite Movie: IDK!
025: Favorite music: anythign that catches my intrest!
026: Favorite City(s): idk!
027: Favorite Plush: huh?
028: Favorite Perfume: um...urm...WTF!
029: Favorite Magazine: IDK
030: Favorite sound: Sum1 (not tellin who) talkin in the voice that reashures me everythings ok!
031: Favorite TV-series: um...IDK
032: Favorite Writer(s): have alot!
033: Favorite Nickname: Sissy!
034: What is on your mousepad: a bunch of my doodles from when I get bored!
035: What all is under your bed: nothin but drawers!
036: Favorite color: Black
037: Favorite Song ever: Stab My Back (All american Rejects)
038: Favorite song at this moment: ^^^ that one!
039: Favorite food: dont got one food makes me get fat so it should die!
040: Favorite class in school: um...lunch i get 2 c my fav person then!
041: Favorite drink: Pina colda!!!
042: Lucky number: luck is 2....fruity!
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: nothin!
044: What deodorant do you use: Y would anyone want 2 know?
045: Favorite shoes: Converse (wish I had sum)
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: when ever I get tierd!
047: What word do you use most: Why...
048: Most romantic moment in your life: Last day of skool! (only sum would know)
049: Most embarrassing moment in your life: Never I dont get emarassed easy!
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: any where as long as ive got my love w/ me!
051: What do you do on the weekends: sit at home wishing I had a lifE!
052: What class in school do/did you dislike most: any class w/ a creepy teacher!
053: Your Breakfast: nothin!
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: anything!
055: Pets: 3 dogs
056: Laugh or dream: Laugh! dreams lead to disapointment!
057: Serious or funny: funny
058: Fast or slow: fast
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: relation ;)
060: Simple or complicated?: simple
061: Cremated or buried: buried! let my corpse rot!
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: depends on my mood!
064: Light or dark?: dark!
065: Speak or Silence: anything that brings me close!
066: Tall or small man/woman: medium! or a lil taller then me!
067: News paper: huh?
068: Hug or kiss: Kiss
069: Happy or Sad: Happy
070: Life or Death: Death
071: Gig or Disco: GIg
072: Left or Right: right
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: top
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: Red
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: Why am I stil alive?
076: You believe in reincarnation: nope
077: You believe in Aliens: sumtimes!
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: I love u and alwayz will!
079: Does true love exist: Yes
080: How many kids would you like to have: 2 maybe 3
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: Ppl who think they r better then everyone and brag about ir or ppl who are so fricken happy u wanna puke!
082: Best feeling: being held!
083: Worst feeling in the world: broken hearted!
084: What are you afraid of: beign hurt again!
085: Are you an emotional person: Yup
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: umm...idk dont watch much!
087: Your goal in life: find myself!
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: I will not rest till everyone else is happy!
089: Favorite art-artist: no idea
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: Monkey! u can throw shit at ppl!
091: What is the most beautiful part on the female body: IDK!
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: sittin in a darkish room with a few candles lite!
094: Is there something you miss about elfpack: uh...?
095: Where did you get this question list: I took it! MWA HAHA!
095: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: Talk 2 Mario, Jak Jak and mess around!
096: Is there a question you missed in this all: dont think so

68777  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-05-22
Written: (6760 days ago)

As I lay here in bed,
I dream about the day
When you will be next to me
Holding me close and kissing me softly
Then cuddling up and holding me till I fall asleep
Then waking up the next morning to you laying next to me
Looking like an angel sleeping
And when I dream,
Its always about you
I dream of us walking through a field of flowers
Us stopping to kiss and hug
Then sitting and watching the sunset
Then softly kissing your lips when the only light is the moon
Saying I love you
Then walking home and watching a movie
Your arms holding me close
Then slowly falling asleep in your arms
Listening to your heart beat
Thinking how much I love being with you
And how much you mean to me

soso sweet...

 The logged in version 

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