I hate you for making me feel this way.

It's been the worst day since yesterday.
:[

Does your new whore,
Have a face much like mine,
After drowning yourself in your liquor?
Does she treat you so well,
As she drags you to hell,
While you're spun out in such ecstacy?
Does she tell you she loves you,
And act like it's true,
Though she stabs you straight in the back?
I want you to know,
That I've cared for so long,
And what did you fear?
I could do you no wrong.
So go marry that whore,
Go choke on that bottle.
Go act like you've done it before...

I WROTE THIS TOO. MINE.

Basically, this is how it goes.
I'm trying to tell myself that I don't care about Travis at all.
But the truth is, I always have.
Always.
And although I'm not in love with him, I love him a lot, and this shit hurts me so bad.
After what happened, he's now hooking up again with Sam, and I don't understand it. I could treat him so great.


Brianas helping me out a lot though.
Without her, I'd be lost.


Same with [._]. He's helping me too.

I'm at the point where I might just break...
I just need to know what's going on..
And this hurts so bad.
:/



I don't know if I'll make it.

Pretty much how I feel.
I need to talk to someone.
I need to tell him how I feel.
But I can't,
And I don't know what to do.
:/

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
I've made the change
I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and loved

Building up inside of me
A place so dark, so cold, I had to set me free
Don't mourn for me, you're not the one to place the blame
As bottles called my name, I won't see you tonight

Sorrow, sank deep inside my blood
All the ones around me
I cared for and most of all I loved
but I can't see myself that way
please don't forget me or cry while I'm away

Cry alone, I've gone away
No more nights, no more pain
I've gone alone, took all my strength
But I've made the change
I won't see you tonight

So far away, I'm gone. Please don't follow me tonight
And while I'm gone, everything will be alright

refrain:
No more breath inside
Essence left my heart tonight

refrain

I dont know what has suddenly changed about me. I'm starting to get sick of the people I've onced loved, and they, in return, don't care either. I've just become so distant, so unaware of my surroundings, so unaware of what's been going on this whole time. Has it slowly been changing, right in front of my eyes? Am I really so blind to believe that I once thought this day would never come? For the longest time I've felt like everyone has hated me, that this whole time they would never give me a chance...now that I've gotten a chance to meet those out of my "group", I realize that Jimmy says it best. "Everybody at highschool will worship the fucking ground I walk on." I mean, it's not to say that I don't miss the days I could actually sit with the Stonetastik Six and not feel like we were drifting apart, because I do. I still look back at the photographs of the partiest and all of that, and yeah, I wish I could go back. However, that's not going to happen, and I realize that. Everything that's happened before has to be forgotten eventually, because lingering gets you nowhere.



Guess what, girlfriend
You have got nothing on me, whore
You won't be missed
So get the whole fucking thing over with

This weekend was pretty good.
'cept that I'm sick.
So was Chez and Danielle.

Andddd we went to Higher Grounds. It was okay.
<3

Then the Double Clutch. Yeahyeah.
"SOoooo, how cool ARE you?".

Excessive lolzing!