Listening to your heart; Finding out Who you Are. All it takes is silence, and the silence will tell all.

My first poem, kind of crappy,but hey i tried
Don't let her bleed,
she lays in deep turmoil
she thought she had it all
Wondering thoughts continued
to disrupt her every move
No one did she have to turn
to when she was dying inside
She wanted help, she needed it
but there was no one.
She ran and ran to find someone
called out their name, she saw them there
farther away.
Yet again they became farther
and farther
away.

These are my messenger info (if you don't tell me who you are when you message me,chances are i'll prob ignore you, you MUST be on my friends list on Elfpack for me to talk to you *smile*:

AIM: RomaticlyBroken2
Yahoo: ForbiddenRomantic
MSN: AForbiddenRomantic@hotmail

i miss him so much, and i dont understand why he seems to not least warn me he won't be able to come see me. *sighs* i'm lonely w/o him...

Girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye




2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she goes.....


her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting a tree instead


her friend was killed instantly....shes in critical condition




This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend


Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes




He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump




Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...


it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in lipstick


he opened it.....


it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you


sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they went to


and the first picture they took together


he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture


it looked as if in the picture she was crying


then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced dead

Well i went to the agency today and i changed my mind because i decided that i dont want to do all that within pregnancy.

thinking of becoming a pregnant model,just to see how it is...hey, i might like it. *grins*

it's so hard to please just about anyone these days, its like you feel that no matter what you do, it's either the wrong way or ...yeah just the wrong way. I get so stressed out when i feel someway about someone and they end up making me feel like your not doing it good enough. I'm not perfect and i'm never going to be,but at least give me a chance to see that i am a nice person. I dont get how ppl think my sister is such a goodie, and i'm just shit,doesnt make sense to me at all...

Well i got good news...click here >http://www.hotornot.com/?profile=1&state=rate&ratee=7652540&amp;jeero=KROSNY&crem=ZDo4LjE5MTAwMDAwMDAwMDAwMDcyNDc1MzU5MDQ3NTMwMjE4OTU4ODU0Njc1MjkyOTY4NzU7&amp;crnv=173&amp;crs=f&crpu=http%3A%2F%2Fpix2.hotornot.com%2Fpics%2FHU%2FHE%2FKL%2FNS%2FAUBSBLHLLQNQ.jpg&crpw=318&crph=447&crll=2006-08-14%2023%3A03%3A10&crid=7652540Missing: </b>

this ish my neice,Anoushka ^^. She looks just like my sister.

i made an appt to get implants..

.> 

Well..it has occured to me a few whiles ago,that friends tend to fade away.True friends dont fade away and act like they don't have time to talk to you. I think it's bullshit. Life is too short to act like you don't have time for someone. What happens when all of a sudden they die? Will you be able to say you were there for that person whenever they needed you or just wanted to chat? Hmm.I think you need to think on that. I'm just tired of people faking things and trying to act like they have important things to do other than to see how you're doing. I am going to start taking those who are invisible to me out of my life,because i'm tired of people lying and acting like they care about me (or anyone in general). Friends don't talk to you a few times and then act like you don't exist next time. [Go look in the dictionary for the term,friends, and i bet it'll change your ways of treating friends.]. Good Bye Folks.

P.S. If you have questions,comments,etc. MSG me A.S.A.P.

hey stalker! anything else you wanna steal from my housepage and make it look like yours? wow your so clever! ^^...[seriously ppl i don't know why he watches my housepage..nothing has changed,maybe he thinks he'll see a surprise,*Shrugs*]

How Can A Woman Not Love the Lord

* He is a gentleman,
* He is confident
* He is a provider and protector
* He is rich and powerful
* He owns everything, there is nothing He wouldn't do for me
* He perfects all things concerning me
* He anticipates my wants and needs
* Every day He tells me and shows me how much He loves me
* I don't have to perform in order to earn His love
* He keeps all of his promises
* No one can influence His opinion of me
* He is the ultimate intimate partner
* He can't "disown" me because I am a part of Him
* He prepares a table before ME (Selah)
* He covers me and doesn't expose me
* He wrote his loving words down so that I'll never forget how He feels about me!
NOW THAT'S LOVE!!!
Any man, who wants pointers on how to love a woman, should study GOD!
Wake up every day and thank God for being the best "man" in your life!

all i can say is that....I've been dying inside. But i don't think it matters why,shit happens...

Yesterday my bf and i had so much fun.We went shopping for clothes,and jewelry. And hopefully between june and july i'm gonna try to start finding clothes for the baby. ^^

i'm so happy right now its crazy. I no longer feel as nervous as i was before.

JAPANESE
Ambition = Yabou
Beauty = Bi
Belief = Shinnen
Bravery = Yuukan
Buddhism = Bukkyou
Courage = Yuuki
The Code of Samurai = Bushidou
Desire = Yokubou
Dragon = Ryuu
Dream = Yume
Enlightenment = Satori
Eternity = Eien
Freedom = Jiyuu
Friendship = Yuujou
God = Kami
Happiness = Koufuku
Honor = Meiyo
Hope = Kibou
Ideal = Risou
Illusion = Gensou
Justice = Seigi
Legend = Densetsu
Love = Ai
Loyalty = Chuujitsu
Meditation = Mokusou
Moon = Tsuki
Nature = Shizen
Ocean = Umi
Passion = Jounetsu
Peace = Heiwa
Perfect = Kanzen
Power = Chikara
Pride = Hokori
Promise = Yakusoku
Rainbow = Niji
Respect = Sonkei
Secret = Himitsu
Sky = Sora
Star = Hoshi
Soul = Tamashii
Spirit = Seishin
Success = Seikou
Sun = Taiyou
Truth = Shinjitsu
Universe = Uchuu
Victory = Shouri
Wisdom = Chie
Achievement = Tassei
Adventure = Bouken
Ancestor = Senzo
Art = Geijutsu
Bond = Kizuna
Cooperation = Kyouryoku
Creation = Souzou
Destiny = Unmei
Dignity = Igen
Elegance = Yuuga
Environment = Kankyou
Era = Jidai
Generosity = Kandai
Glory = Eikou
Gorgeous = Gouka
Hallucination = Genkaku
Harmony = Chouwa
Hero = Eiyuu
Imagination = Souzou
Jealousy = Sh*tto
Kaleidoscope = Mangekyou
Mercy = Jihi
Milky Way = Ama no gawa
Miracle = Kiseki
Myth = Shinwa
Patience = Nintai
Planet = Wakusei
Poem = Shi
Prosperity = Hanei
Pure = Junsui
Rebirth = Saisei
Religious Faith = Shinkou
Self Confidence = Jishin
Sentiment = Kanshou
Shooting Star = Ryuusei
Silence = Chinmoku
Sincerity = Seijitsu
Solitude = Kodoku
Song = Uta
Talent = Sainou
Tear = Namida
Thought = Shisou
Tiger = Tora
Trust = Shinrai
Virtue = Kudoku
Wolf = Ookami
Accomplishment = Jouju
Baptism = Senrei
Blessing = Shukufuku
Buddha = Budda
Calligraphy = Shodou
Celebrated Sword = Meitou
Century = Seiki
Civilization = Bunmei
Constellation = Seiza
Devotion = Kenshin
Discovery = Hakken
Effort = Doryoku
Emperor = Tennou
Enthusiasm = Nekkyou
Existence = Sonzai
Experience = Keiken
Fireworks = Hanabi
Friend = Tomodachi
Future = Mirai
Hobby = Shumi
Honesty = Shoujiki
Husband and Wife = Fuufu
Importance = Juuyou
Independence = Dokuritsu
Invention = Hatsumei
Kindness = Shinsetsu
Leap = Hiyaku
Magic Spell = Jumon
Martial Arts = Budou
Martyrdom = Junkyou
Mirage = Shinkirou
Morality = Doutoku
Promotion = Shoushin
Proof = Shoumei
Religion = Shuukyou
Reputation = Hyouban
Responsibility = Sekinin
Revenge = Fukushuu
Sacred Fire = Seika
Saint = Seijin
Smile = Bishou
Superstition = Meishin
Symbol = Shouchou
Sympathy = Doujou
Tradition = Dentou
Warrior = Bushi
Winner = Shousha
World = Sekai
Wonder = Fushigi
Worship = Suuhai
Angel = Tenshi
Artist = Geijutsuka
The Art of Stealth = Ninjutsu
Awe = Ikei
Balance = Kinkou
Bliss = Shifuku
Challenge = Chousen
Change = Henka
Chaos = Konton
Choice = Sentaku
Commitment = Genchi
Conqueror = Seifukusha
Creativity = Souzouryoku
Dawn = Akatsuki
Direction = Houkou
Enigma = Nazo
Equal = Doutou
Fairness = Kouhei
Family = Kazoku
Fighting Spirit = Toushi
Focus = Shouten
Galaxy = Ginga
Goddess = Megami
Good and Evil = Zenaku
Good Fortune = Kouun
Instinct = Honnou
Journey = Tabi
Knowledge = Chishiki
Labyrinth = Meikyuu
Longevity = Chouju
Mist = Kiri
Mystery = Shinpi
Obedience = Juujun
Oblivion = Boukyaku
Optimism = Rakkan
Piety = Keiken
Prayer = Inori
Protection = Shugo
Sacred = Shinsei
Sacrifice = Gisei
Serenity = Seion
Spiritual Strength = Seishinryoku
Survivor = Seizonsha
Thunder = Kaminari
Twilight = Reimei
War = Sensou
Wave = Nami
Welcome = Kangei
Apocalypse = Mokushi
Beloved = Saiai no hito
Betrayal = Uragiri
Black Panther = Kurohyou
Control = Shihai
Crisis = Kiki
Crystal = Suishou
Darkness = Ankoku
Demon = Akuma
Diligence = Kinben
Discipline = Tanren
Duty = Gimu
Essence = Honshitsu
Evil = Jaaku
Evolution = Shinka
Fairy = Yousei
Healing = Chiyu
Health = Kenkou
Heaven = Tengoku
Hell = Jigoku
Immortal = Fushi
Incarnation = Keshin
Integrity = Seiren
Intelligence = Chisei
Karma = Innen
Misunderstanding = Gokai
Nirvana = Nehan
Outcast = Tsuihousha
Patriotism = Aikokushin
Perseverance = Kennin-fubatsu
Phoenix = Fushichou
Poison = Doku
Princess = Hime
Prophecy = Yogen
Pure Love = Junai
Quest = Tankyuu
Rage = Gekido
Rebel = Hangyakusha
Romance = Renai
Shadow = Kage
Soul mate = Kokoro no tomo
Storm = Arashi
Strength = Tsuyosa
Supernatural Power = Chounouryoku
Taboo = Kinki
Iron Fist = Tekken
Temptation = Yuuwaku
Transience = Mujou
Wealth = Tomi
Allegiance = Chuusei
Arrogance = Gouman
Bear = Kuma
Benevolence = Jintoku
Best Friend = Shinyuu
Butterfly = Chou
Conscience = Ryoushin
Contentment = Manzoku
Courtesy = Reigi
Crime = Tsumi
Cruelty = Reikoku
Destruction = Hakai
Dusk = Tasogare
Dynasty = Ouchou
Eloquence = Yuuben
Encouragement = Gekirei
Fighting Spirit = Toukon
Flame = Honoo
Fresh = Seishin
Ghost = Yuurei
Gift = Okurimono
H*rror = Kyoufu
Innoc*nce = Junketsu
Inspiration = Reikan
Intensity = Kyouretsu
Intuition = Chokkan
Invincibility = Muteki
Knight = Kishi
Lightning = Inazuma
Magic = Mahou
Masquerade = Kamen-butoukai
Master = Meijin
Memory = Kioku
Mentality = Chiryoku
Midnight = Mayonaka
Number One = Ichiban
Originality = Dokusouryoku
Prince = Ouji
Punishment = Batsu
Resilience = Kaifukuryoku
Rose = Bara
Surprise = Odoroki
Tragedy = Higeki
Tranquility = Heion
Twins = Futago
Unity = Touitsu
Vampire = Kyuuketsuki
Vanity = Kyoei
Will = Ishi
Acceptance = Younin
Cat = Neko
Charm = Miryoku
Compassion = Doujou
Consciousness = Ishiki
Contradiction = Hitei
Curiosity = Koukishin
Dance = Buyou
Daughter = Musume
The Dark = Yami
De*th = Shi
Dinosaur = Kyouryuu
Dragonfly = Tonbo
Excitement = Koufun


Fierceness = Doumou
Firefighter = Shouboushi
Fool = Baka
Fox = Kitsune
Genius = Tensai
The Grim Reaper = Shinigami
Guardian Deity = Shugoshin
H*tred = Zouo
Husband = Otto
Immutability = Fuhen
Infinity = Mugen
Iris = Ayame
Life and De*th = Seishi
Lifelong friend = Shougai no tomo
Lover = Aijin
Lunatic = Kyoujin
Messiah = Kyuuseishu
Pain = Kutsuu
Paradise = Rakuen
Perception = Chikaku
Self-awareness = Jikaku
Selflessness = Muga
Son = Musuko
Stubbornness = Ganko
Sweetheart = Koibito
Taoism = Doukyou
Theory = Riron
Uniqueness = Dokutoku
Vegetarian = Saishoku-shugisha
Vicious Mind = Janen
Vigilance = Keikai
Vindictiveness = Shuunen
Wife = Tsuma
Witch = Majo
Young Warrior = Wakamusha
Youth = Wakamono
Fine more Japanese translation at http://japanese.about.com/blsoundfile.htm

got bored

I'm a spoiled bitch.I really am.I've always gotten what i wanted,and to this day,if i don't get it,i get pissed off. There's never been arguments on it,ever. I've had my own credit card since i was 12..11 years later,i'm still the same.I've had housekeepers and everything.[i have a point to this..hold on]. So now when i see something i want,i just go on and get it,or if it's a person i want,i make sure i get that person,cause i dont get rejected. Now it's come to the point of me having a job. Why is it that i feel the need to have one? Am i trying to show my mum that i can be responsible? Yeah. She and my Dad are the ones that i look for approval. to anyone else,i dont care. however,i'm tired of feeling like that...i need something more.

[Kind of Good News:]
Well i called my mum and i was like "hey mum,there's something i need to tell you,and i don't want this to hurt our relationship,but i'm pregnant"...so she says that she was hurt by the situation but she says that she's glad that i am being honest with her. She's supporting my decision about keeping my baby,and i'm happy,because if she wasn't i'd be so hurt.