[Ł â Đ ŷ √IN Р ι п Ķ]'s diary
dedicated to jessie mae!
My god, it feels like it's been years since i have written something in my diary. Well all i can say is, currently i'm not facing much sort of depression. Good thing,right? well anyway i just want to let myself know that i am doing okay and i need to keep telling myself that so that i can continue to be in my spirit.
*sighs* i'm so stressed..that i could just ugh..fucking just 
...
*blinks* okay, so my sister and her husband go on vacation and she leaves her daughter with me. Her husband comes back w/o my sister, she's been missing this whole week and i'm so freakin frightened and have no clue how to figure this out. My family knows and they are very pissed. So he goes back out there to find her and i havent heard from him since 2 days ago. I'm scared.
[This song is really touching, a friend told me to listen to it and i really love it; it's by Brooke Hogan]
For A Moment"
Lately I've been thinking about the ups & downs
We've been through together and how we almost lost our ground
We held on long enough to see all the good out weigh the bad
And I'm thankful, so grateful for everything we have
But for a moment I thought I lost everything
For a moment I forgot about our memories
Then I woke up and I realized how much you mean to me
For a moment I thought I lost you and me
My first love, my first kiss I shared both of them with you
From the first time we locked eyes I knew you and I would be the truth
But since then you've lied to me and I've lied to you
But we made up and I'm thankful so grateful
For everything we have
So beautiful that's what we are
I'm your sky and your my star
All the trials that we've been through
Only made us who we are today
But for a moment I thought I lost everything
For a moment I thought forgot about our memories
Then I woke up and I realized how much you mean to me
For a moment I thought I lost you and me
Your connected to everything and everybody that matters to me
Your the center all my charm without I wouldn't be
I thought I lost my best friend
My perfect world came to an end
But it was just a dream that felt like reality
But for a moment I thought I lost everything
I thought I lost my baby
I forgot about our memories
Then I opened my eyes
Then I woke up and I realized how much you mean to me
For a moment I thought I lost you and me
I thought I lost you and me
Written about Tuesday 2006-12-12
Written: (6561 days ago)
What kind of person do you think i am?
What are your true thoughts of me?
Answer these
Listening to your heart; Finding out Who you Are. All it takes is silence, and the silence will tell all.
My first poem, kind of crappy,but hey i tried
Don't let her bleed,
she lays in deep turmoil
she thought she had it all
Wondering thoughts continued
to disrupt her every move
No one did she have to turn
to when she was dying inside
She wanted help, she needed it
but there was no one.
She ran and ran to find someone
called out their name, she saw them there
farther away.
Yet again they became farther
and farther
away.
These are my messenger info (if you don't tell me who you are when you message me,chances are i'll prob ignore you, you MUST be on my friends list on Elfpack for me to talk to you *smile*:
AIM: RomaticlyBroke
Yahoo: ForbiddenRoman
MSN: AForbiddenRoma
i miss him so much, and i dont understand why he seems to not least warn me he won't be able to come see me. *sighs* i'm lonely w/o him...
Girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye
2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she goes.....
her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitti
her friend was killed instantly....s
This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend
Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes
He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump
Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...
it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in lipstick
he opened it.....
it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you
sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they went to
and the first picture they took together
he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture
it looked as if in the picture she was crying
then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced dead
Well i went to the agency today and i changed my mind because i decided that i dont want to do all that within pregnancy.
thinking of becoming a pregnant model,just to see how it is...hey, i might like it. *grins*
it's so hard to please just about anyone these days, its like you feel that no matter what you do, it's either the wrong way or ...yeah just the wrong way. I get so stressed out when i feel someway about someone and they end up making me feel like your not doing it good enough. I'm not perfect and i'm never going to be,but at least give me a chance to see that i am a nice person. I dont get how ppl think my sister is such a goodie, and i'm just shit,doesnt make sense to me at all...
Well i got good news...click here >http://www.hot
this ish my neice,Anoushka ^^. She looks just like my sister.
i made an appt to get implants..
.>
Well..it has occured to me a few whiles ago,that friends tend to fade away.True friends dont fade away and act like they don't have time to talk to you. I think it's bullshit. Life is too short to act like you don't have time for someone. What happens when all of a sudden they die? Will you be able to say you were there for that person whenever they needed you or just wanted to chat? Hmm.I think you need to think on that. I'm just tired of people faking things and trying to act like they have important things to do other than to see how you're doing. I am going to start taking those who are invisible to me out of my life,because i'm tired of people lying and acting like they care about me (or anyone in general). Friends don't talk to you a few times and then act like you don't exist next time. [Go look in the dictionary for the term,friends, and i bet it'll change your ways of treating friends.]. Good Bye Folks.
P.S. If you have questions,comm
hey stalker! anything else you wanna steal from my housepage and make it look like yours? wow your so clever! ^^...[seriously ppl i don't know why he watches my housepage..nothing has changed,maybe he thinks he'll see a surprise,*Shrugs*]
How Can A Woman Not Love the Lord
* He is a gentleman,
* He is confident
* He is a provider and protector
* He is rich and powerful
* He owns everything, there is nothing He wouldn't do for me
* He perfects all things concerning me
* He anticipates my wants and needs
* Every day He tells me and shows me how much He loves me
* I don't have to perform in order to earn His love
* He keeps all of his promises
* No one can influence His opinion of me
* He is the ultimate intimate partner
* He can't "disown" me because I am a part of Him
* He prepares a table before ME (Selah)
* He covers me and doesn't expose me
* He wrote his loving words down so that I'll never forget how He feels about me!
NOW THAT'S LOVE!!!
Any man, who wants pointers on how to love a woman, should study GOD!
Wake up every day and thank God for being the best "man" in your life!