*woooot* MIS ...
anyway I'm really bored
I'm at work and i miss my bf..
I just want to be held..
I want to be cuddled.. I want to be kissed
I wna to be told everything is
[ O K A Y ]

Have you given up on me?
What is goin on through your head right now..
I know what is going through mine..
I know what I want to do right now..
I feel like without you .. there is no [ M E ]
Maybe its true .. maybe its not..
THE WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW..

"Miss Murder"

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
take my life?

whoa-oh-ohh

With just a look they shook
And heavens bowed before him.
Simply a look can break your heart.
The stars that pierce the sky;
He left them all behind.
We’re left to wonder why
He left us all behind.

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
take my life?
whoa-oh-ohh
(ohh)

Dreams of his crash won’t pass
Or how they all adored him.
Beauty will last when spiraled down.
The stars that mystify
He left them all behind.
And how his children cry
He left us all behind.

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
take my life?
whoa-oh-ohh

What's the rift that twists
within this furthest mystery?
I would gladly bet my life upon it.
At the cost of love your ray of light
Will fizzle out without hope.
When the empty sand just flowing through our empty skin,
And we're searching for what we were promised.
Reaching for the cold and rain we never let go,
They won't ever let us blow our filthy hands apart.

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
take my life?
whoa-oh-ohh

Hey Miss Murder can I?
Hey Miss Murder can I?
Make beauty stay if I,
take my life?
whoa-oh-ohh

are my walls REALLLY CRUMBLING BEFORE MY EYES... are they really.. It feels like they are.. My light you are fading.. Please don't leave me alone.. I can't bear being alone without you.. please don't give up on me.. EVERYBODY ALWAYS GIVES UP ON ME... I seem sometimes I'm never perfect enough.. Not skinny enough.. not smart enough.. Not loving enough.. Jessica you are Fucking cold hearted bitch... *sighs* This is what I get told... When people hurt me I FUCKING BECOME COLD... i put all my trust in you ... Please don't break it.. I don't know What I WOULD do with myself... I don't wanna be alone anymore... Please don't let people physically back me into a corner.. Please make the screaming stop.. But for gods sake... PLEASE MAKE THE PAIN STOP.... CAN YOU ??? PLEASE... Can you make my heart stop hurting.. Can you make my heart go into my chest instead of my throat.. Why is it when you are sad I FEEL FUCKING HORRIBLE.. IT FUCKING KILLLS ME....I will get better I promise.. everything just seems to not be going my way... If you can help me through this it would be the best thing you could do.. .God don't give up...

But another part of me is saying "YOUR PRAYING WON'T WORK HERE.. THIS IS NOT'S GODS WORK"
but sadly I don't believe in god.. He has hurt me way to many times to count...

you defy me stars...

i have one more thing to say on that note

[ AND LETS PLAY D O C T O R BABE... ]
<3

Im really really really hungry.. This chick drew purdy stars on her paper next to me.. maybe i should go to work.. *sighs* Maybe i Should get my ass in gear eH? But I don't want to ..but I have to make up the time.. maybe I can just make it up on thursday and come in at 10 or 11 ? I'm soooo bad.. </3

Well i have to start going into work early
I'm going camping on friday.. *wooot*
I can't wait.. I think I'm leaving work at 3
But I have to make up the time..

Maybe I should say c-ya later to everybody ..
or maybe I should say
  G O O D B Y E

I honestly Don't understand why people do the things they do... I don't know if they know that it hurts people like me.. Do you know that it breaks my heart in half.. ???

if you keep pulling on the strings..

GUESS W H A T ...
THEY ARE GONNA
 R I P 

DEVIL WHY DON'T YOU TAKE ME.. TAKE IT NOW..

I won't ask you for anything ever again .. I promise.. Just let me be with him. let me hold him...

STOP PULLING THE FUCKING STRINGS

Have you ever loved somebody SO MUCH .. That you would SELL YOUR SOUL JUST TO SPEND AN
HOUR WITH THEM

I would...

This semester has kicked my ass..
I don't think i can take ANY of my exams.. I have to have a 70 in every class..
*Cries*

NEW PIC LUFFS <3

Am i slowly giving up on people? Am I letting them slip through my grip.. My attention has been on one person and one person only.. That is my future husband.. I just want him down here.. that is the only person i care about.. I feel I'm letting things get a hold of me and just slip through my grip..

Can I cry yet.. The Earylest they have is fucking may 13 and I'm pushing it there..

I'm sitting here balling and feeling so worthless..

OkaY i fucking hate stupid people..
[kevin69] what a fucking dick..
He asks if i want 'Web sex, I got a big dick "
I'm very nice to him tell him him to leave me alone and if he does not that I will report him.. he is like "you married.. I like housewife"
Okay fucking A .. .LEAVE ME ALONE...
</3

Okay so my app for the apartment is on thursday..
i only have to bring in 315 which is fine then the 610 when I move in.. Which honestly is not that bad.. I think its gonna be 7-10 days then I get the room... OMFG THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING.... JACK IS MOVING DOWN HERE TO BE WITH MEEEEEEE.... <33333333333333333333333333333333

Its funny.. whenever something bad happends .. I cry for you .. I say "I want my jack"
You are security blanket m'love..
I know with you its a sense of comfort..
I love you for it

[<3] The wife

I wonder if people read my diary..
*scratches my head* maybe to see how my life is.. Maybe to just smile.. or you are calling me a piece of shit for waisting your time.. If you read my diary Can you tell me.. Do you like it when I tell you about my day.. Do you hate it.. What do you love hate about it.. *scratches head* Maybe I can get some feedback.. I mean I kinda don't care what people think because if they have shit to be said they can say it to my face kinda thing.. I'm in love end of story..
<3