HAPPY BIRTHDAY YEW <3
I am in soooo much pain right now..
My teeth are killing me which makes my head just throb..
I am ready to curl in a ball and just throw up... *rubs my eyes* It hurts a bunch and everytime I bend over it makes it feel worse.. >.<
Hey guess what... YOU .. YES YOU..
I <3 YOU LYKE WOAH <3
I thought pain was the nature of the beast..
Maybe it is Maybe its not.. You have shown me its not..
The rain outside pours from the skys..
Something so pure will wash anything away..
Okay so I woke up this morn and the only thing i could think of was..
TO HOT TO TROT.. *scratches my head as my cat ears go back* WTF.. where did that even come from..
I HATE MYSELF..
More then I will ever know..
I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF..
I WANT TO END THIS SHIT..
I HATE THIS FEELING.. My heart is in my throat..
CAN I GIVE UP YET?
IS IT MY TIME..
i <3 you [mfdspanky]
I just wanted to tell you so you will know..
Why am I so confused...
I think i just pissed you off..
Maybe I should pop some pills and just stop it all..
I care for you.. i don't know if you do me like we used to be..
I am confused. I want to fix it..
Dear world,
Is it okay if i give up PLEASE.. I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt.. Sometimes I want to wave the white flag and say STOP WORLD.. I GIVE UP.. NO MORE PLEASE .. NO MORE PAIN FOR OTHERS.. I am sorry.. World.. I AM SORRY.. I will never heal the wounds I have created.. I am sorry.. i wish to take them away and put them on myself.. Put THE HURT ON ME TAKE IT AWAY FROM YOU.. you said you have become so cold.. Look what I have created.. I HATE Myself for it..
You are the LAST person I wanted to hurt..
Trust me on this one..
I rather Put pain upon myself then EVER EVER HURT YOU..
I have hurt you in so many ways then one.. It kills me everynight to know this..
I have to live with my mistakes and the major one is hurting you..
I can't Live withmyself for doing such a horrible thing to such a sweet person.. i am sorry..
I am sorry ... These words will never mend what I did to you.. NEVER..
One last diary thing.. Guess what i <3 Dustin ..i don't care anymore
The rain will NEVER wash away this pain I am feeling..
For its not MY pain.. But the pain of others..
I hate myself for doing this..
This is already my 3 journal post..
I can't stand it anylonger..
I want to throw up..
I want to go to sleep and never wake up.. Just not right now..
I hurt yall.. i am sorry.. I am through.. I am happy with him but that is not good enough anymore.. I can't STAND IT ANYMORE.. This game I don't wanna play .. I wanna raise my white flag in defeat
I have hurt so many people.. i feel like I am going to throw up.. I wanna run away and hide and never come out.. the tears I shed WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH.. NEVER.. i am happy.. But I am losing sooo much.. I hate myself because of the fact I am hurting my friends..
I am with somebody now..
But I hurt the people that in one time meant so much..
For all of you i am sorry.. I am happy now.. He makes me happy.. *sighs* I Don't wanna let go of my friends that ment so much.. Please don't make me let you go..
I don't wanna play this little game anymore....
My heart can't take it.. Hell for that matter I CAN'T TAKE IT..
Where is the rain when I need to ..
Least the water will hold me close and wash away the tears
Have you ever felt like your heart was gonna drop in your throat? Well now is the time to do that
I hate you! *rawr* I hate you evil class.. yes yes I hate you .. *sTAB*oKAY SO its half my fault considering the fact I had 3 months to do it *laughs* Its funny how 3 months now turns into 2 days to do it.. *falls over* I will see what I can do..
I am glad we are together..
You make me feel alive..
You make me feel wanted..
Stay with me forever and I shall be this whole person
Can you be the rain to wash away the pain
Can you hold me close and never let me go
Can you tame the untameable
Can you fix what has be broken..
Honestly i think i have found the person to be all those..
Thank you for being you..
xoxox
I FEEL ALIVE.. THANKS TOO YOU <3
Can I turn back time.. if i could.. I would.. trust me on this.. I think if i could turn back time i could have not hurt the one person that i care for.. If i could turn back time i would not have been hurt.. If i what I know now.. God things would be so much better..
Sorry I hurt you..
I am sorry.. it was the last thing I ever wanted to do..