it... was nice while it lasted.
.....
Oh well.... why not.
And so... Paranoia wins by a furlong.
I have this impending anxiety.. that one that causes you to feel a void
in your stomach because you know for a certainty that this is the worst,
and the worst is here.
...I don't like this feeling.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEE
BOO PARANOIA!
YAY HAPPINESS!
*jigs*
Japanese acid-techno with an Englishman singing:
Word of silence
creeping silence time
bird of sadness
seeking flightless mind
Bird of silence
breaking for this light
Note of brigthness
all we give
then we're shinin', shinin', shinin'...
Is it so wrong.. that I want to live with the lie.
Aristotle, Happiness is self-contented
Aristotle, Young men err in everything by excess and vehemence, contrary to the precept of Chilon; they do all things too much, since they love and hate too much, and likewise in everything else. They fancy and insist that they know all things, and this is why they overdo everything.
Chilon, Nothing in excess
Democritus, Everywhere man blames nature and fate, yet his fate is mostly but the echo of his character and passions, his mistakes and weaknesses
Democritus, Happiness resides not in possessions and not in gold, the felling of happiness dwells in the soul
Epictetus, Men are not worried by things, but by their ideas about things. When we meet with difficulties, become anxious or troubled, let us not blame others, but rather ourselves, that is, our ideas about things.
Epictetus, One must not tie a ship to a single anchor, nor life to a single hope
Epictetus, Remember that you are only an actor in a play, which the manager directs
Epicurus, If you live according to nature, you will never be poor; but if according to opinions, you will never be rich. Nature demands little, opinion a great deal.
Epicurus, Live today, forget the cares of the past
Epicurus, One is rich not through one’s possessions, but through that which can can with dignity do without
Euripides, from The Children of Hercules, though I was rid of Hercules, I knew I was hated by his children, and the feud would continue, so I left no stone unturned to find the scorpions underneath; I plotted oto kill or banish them, to assure my safety.
Euripides, He who submits to fate without complaint is wise
Hecaton of Rhodes, I will reveal to you a love potion, without medicine, without herbs, without any witch’s magic; if you want to be loved, then love
Heraclitus, It is not good for all your wishes to be fulfilled: through sickness you recognize the value of health , through evil the value of good, through hunger satisfaction, through exertion, the value of rest
Homer, Bear patiently, my heart - for you have suffered heavier things
Menander, He only lives, who living enjoys life
Plato, If man is moderated and contented, then even age is no burden; if he is not, then even youth is full of cares
Plutarch, A pleasant and happy life does not come from external things: man draws from within himself, as from a spring , pleasure and joy
Pythagoras, If you have a wounded heart, touch it as little as you would an injured eye. There are only two remedies for the suffering of the soul: hope and patience
Socrates, All I know is that I know nothing
Socrates, In the world of knowledge the idea of the good appears last of all, and is seen only with effort
Socrates, Look death in the face with joyful hope, and consider this a lasting truth: the righteous man has nothing to fear, neither in life, nor in death, and the gods will not forsake him.
Socrates, Remember, no human condition is ever permanent: then you will not be overjoyed in good fortune, not too sorrowful in misfortune
Socrates, The unexamined life is not worth living
Sophocles, Every man will fall, though born a man, proudly presumes to be a superman
Sophocles, from Oedipus the King, Then I Oedipus, presented myself, who was ignorant; I consulted no augur, but by a simple effort of reflection silenced the Sphinx
Sopocles, As god disposes man laughs or weeps
Thales (Socrates cites the Seven Sages of Greece in Plato’s Protagoras), Know thyself
Thrasymachus, I proclaim that justice is nothing else that the interest of the stronger
"Today I offer all myself to this:
I'm living for my dying wish"
I never should of gone to that damned Green Day concert.
I think I'm gonna be depressed for a week.
...
Why is it every week, I find a new reason to be depressed for that week?
Maybe its just fate.
...
heh, "fate":
Humanity's way of saying "what just happened wasn't my fault."
*sighs*
...worse yet, how is it I could of predicted what happened before it did..?
and on top of that, how do I always do that?
I should not be allowed in public.
Don't forget me dear, across our great divide,
keep my memory locked with you, inside my signet case.
We'll find ourselves; two hearts apart,
for you; inside; I will never be displaced.
All cries are waking.
Every scream is heard.
Every waking moment.
Every spoken word.
Through and through the tragedy.
Deep inside the heart.
My body lies in a separate life,
as my blood, will conquer me.
goah... is it so wrong to want to rip your heart out..?
*sighs*... why do I have to be so attuned to life..? Why can't I let life go..? heh... so many decisions that I know I rightfully made... but all for the sake of life.
heh... and all I hear repeating in my head are my own words... flowing through, in liquid tragedy.
"...when underneath it all, there's a different story,
and underneath it all, there's a heart in mourning."
...here's an addendum to the relationship decision. (condensed into three simple words.)
Don't pussy out.
Killing Joke - "The Death & Resurrection Show"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
mark out the points
build the pyre
assemble different drummers
Light up the fire
Put on your masks
And animal skins
Illumination, illumination
Listen to the drums
Between each beat, each beat of the drum
O beloved mother of liberty
Hold me in your arms
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
And the day will come
Before the lights go out
Who will you turn to
Who will you turn to
Choose the crucifixion
Or Osiris slain
Recurring themes, time again.
Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show
O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me
Everything im taught, amounts to nought
Everything I learn, the fire shall burn
Notions of myself that i'm not
Who ever I was is now lost
Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show
O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me
Burn away all my impurities
Hold me in your arms
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Here, for the first time ever, I have developed a guide for those who seek answers to relationship decision making. I am writing this on the spot, fresh out of my mind, so.. the answers may seem... hmm.... 'fuzzy'.
Lets begin.
Start by going somewhere where you can think. Where you can be by yourself (whether it be in a crowded shopping mall, or in a closet with the lights off) Somewhere, where you can ignore the world around you, as you watch it move.
Understanding the world, is so complicated, because we, as humans, overcomplicate things. "Why do birds fly?" 'Because they have wings.' "Well why do birds have wings?" 'So they can fly.'
Controlling every thing in sight,
Feeling weak I don't feel right.
Telling me I have to change;
Telling me to act my age.
But if all that I can do,
is just sit and watch life go,
then I'll have to say
'Goodbye'
Life's too short to watch it fly.
Breathe deeply.
What do you see..?
There is your answer. The infinite complexities of life, unlocked inside a smile.
I wish I knew what to do. I'm not even writing in my regular journal, just so I don't worry the people that know me closest. But here, I'll just worry people that don't even know me... heh.. then again, if they don't know me, they probably won't worry.. yes?
I... I think i should actually continue from where I left off.. so many years ago, before it all began, before I quit in search of love. ...perhaps... perhaps I should just let go of love, and return to my original self. Maybe not quite 'true' ...but original.
I still want to know the origins of the things I know, the things I see... but... I guess I'm just hoping for the cliche ending.. where I just simply stop thinking about them, and they go away.
Heh.. I'm such a stereotype, but then again... in our hearts, aren't we all..? There are only so many distinct charictaristic
....anyway... I'm checking into a gun store... see how I can budget my money.
Answers take time.
And I always get my answers,
Time is not important.
I bet she wished she listened to Christina.
I bet she wishes she didn't listen to her heart.
Every time that they draw near,
I cannot help but simply fall apart.
The words that I was given were never truly real,
Imagination's slight of hand: an easy magic trick.
Foolish eyes that blind the heart,
show just how we feel.
But inner sanctums show us now, how true the truth can be.
A hollow heart on hallowed ground:
waiting to beat free.
When the blossom flowers in each our hearts.
Shall beat that new felt flame.