I never should of gone to that damned Green Day concert.
I think I'm gonna be depressed for a week.
...
Why is it every week, I find a new reason to be depressed for that week?
Maybe its just fate.
...
heh, "fate":
Humanity's way of saying "what just happened wasn't my fault."
*sighs*
...worse yet, how is it I could of predicted what happened before it did..?
and on top of that, how do I always do that?
I should not be allowed in public.
Don't forget me dear, across our great divide,
keep my memory locked with you, inside my signet case.
We'll find ourselves; two hearts apart,
for you; inside; I will never be displaced.
All cries are waking.
Every scream is heard.
Every waking moment.
Every spoken word.
Through and through the tragedy.
Deep inside the heart.
My body lies in a separate life,
as my blood, will conquer me.
goah... is it so wrong to want to rip your heart out..?
*sighs*... why do I have to be so attuned to life..? Why can't I let life go..? heh... so many decisions that I know I rightfully made... but all for the sake of life.
heh... and all I hear repeating in my head are my own words... flowing through, in liquid tragedy.
"...when underneath it all, there's a different story,
and underneath it all, there's a heart in mourning."
...here's an addendum to the relationship decision. (condensed into three simple words.)
Don't pussy out.
Killing Joke - "The Death & Resurrection Show"
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
mark out the points
build the pyre
assemble different drummers
Light up the fire
Put on your masks
And animal skins
Illumination, illumination
Listen to the drums
Between each beat, each beat of the drum
O beloved mother of liberty
Hold me in your arms
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
And the day will come
Before the lights go out
Who will you turn to
Who will you turn to
Choose the crucifixion
Or Osiris slain
Recurring themes, time again.
Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show
O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me
Everything im taught, amounts to nought
Everything I learn, the fire shall burn
Notions of myself that i'm not
Who ever I was is now lost
Illumination, illumination
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Oh how ingenious the centuries of lies
Ezekiel's chariots streak across the skies
Holy books and history texts forget
Because we know
Souls are recycled in the death and resurrection show
O beloved mother of liberty
Come to me
Burn away all my impurities
Hold me in your arms
Burn burn, burn brightly
Burn burn, burn white heat
Here, for the first time ever, I have developed a guide for those who seek answers to relationship decision making. I am writing this on the spot, fresh out of my mind, so.. the answers may seem... hmm.... 'fuzzy'.
Lets begin.
Start by going somewhere where you can think. Where you can be by yourself (whether it be in a crowded shopping mall, or in a closet with the lights off) Somewhere, where you can ignore the world around you, as you watch it move.
Understanding the world, is so complicated, because we, as humans, overcomplicate things. "Why do birds fly?" 'Because they have wings.' "Well why do birds have wings?" 'So they can fly.'
Controlling every thing in sight,
Feeling weak I don't feel right.
Telling me I have to change;
Telling me to act my age.
But if all that I can do,
is just sit and watch life go,
then I'll have to say
'Goodbye'
Life's too short to watch it fly.
Breathe deeply.
What do you see..?
There is your answer. The infinite complexities of life, unlocked inside a smile.
I wish I knew what to do. I'm not even writing in my regular journal, just so I don't worry the people that know me closest. But here, I'll just worry people that don't even know me... heh.. then again, if they don't know me, they probably won't worry.. yes?
I... I think i should actually continue from where I left off.. so many years ago, before it all began, before I quit in search of love. ...perhaps... perhaps I should just let go of love, and return to my original self. Maybe not quite 'true' ...but original.
I still want to know the origins of the things I know, the things I see... but... I guess I'm just hoping for the cliche ending.. where I just simply stop thinking about them, and they go away.
Heh.. I'm such a stereotype, but then again... in our hearts, aren't we all..? There are only so many distinct charictaristic
....anyway... I'm checking into a gun store... see how I can budget my money.
Answers take time.
And I always get my answers,
Time is not important.
I bet she wished she listened to Christina.
I bet she wishes she didn't listen to her heart.
Every time that they draw near,
I cannot help but simply fall apart.
The words that I was given were never truly real,
Imagination's slight of hand: an easy magic trick.
Foolish eyes that blind the heart,
show just how we feel.
But inner sanctums show us now, how true the truth can be.
A hollow heart on hallowed ground:
waiting to beat free.
When the blossom flowers in each our hearts.
Shall beat that new felt flame.