-Sigh.- I'm exhuasted.. I want to just curl up and go to sleep for the next few billion hours.. e.e;'

Last night I was in school, for some reason (in my dream) and the teacher was trying to tell the class that the class we were in was the most annoying achedemical course the school had to offer, and if we were smart we'd walk out while we have the chance.
God I wish there were teachers like that in real life. o.O

Wheeeeeee....
I think this whole alone thing is going to my head. o.O;'
I usually have cool dreams, but lately my dreams have been sucky.. e.e;'
Two more weeks until I get an entire glorious month of.. Thank God.. e.e;'

I'll be back at around 12:40, if I'm home any earlier it's because I get kicked out. >.< Lol.

Woot, I called in a few favors and got myself a black cat from the Giffie Pet Store. ^-^
Thanks [Big Brother]! -Huggles.-
Oh.. dont beg him for a pet.. I tried it, it doesnt work. >.o
-Cough.-

Anyways.. o.o;'
I named my pet after.. well, sorta me, sorta Jess, I dont kno. More me than Jess. O.o;' Since I'm, "eMi" which is short for "eMiKo".. but then again I used to call her my Emiko Goddess.. o.O;'
Weird, so I accidentally named it after both of us.

I haven't seen Kawakins all day, which is.. a little creapy. I hope she doesn't stop coming online for like a week like last time. I was sooo worried, lol. >.<

Zac called me a slut today! -Cries dramaticly.-
Eh? Just kidding about that crying thing.. >.>
Zac you're an asshole! XD

I did a whole crap load of page updates today, organization, editing, the works. I hope everyone likes it. Tell me what you think! >.< Better this way, or the other way? o.o;'

Anyways, I'm going to bed soon. Night all!

Doesn't it suck more than anything you find out that no matter what you do life will still tend to let you down? I mean, seriously.. I didnt even know I was this dependant on others, it kind of pisses me off. I hate it. >.< I wish I could be more independant, so that I wouldn't have to worry about being accepted by people. >.<

My dreams are still disturbed, and who can blame me, after all the crap that that's been going on. Last night I dreampt that I was walking to school, and a guy picked me up and decided to drive me, he's from my class, and we got there, learned the lesson in five minutes, and then took a flight to Japan to go visit my grandparents, even though they live in Saskatchewan.
-Sigh.- I miss my old dreams. They made a lot more sense. Like my one dream of being in an airport.. searching. -Cough.-
Why do a lot of my dreams involve technology, airports, or aircraft? >.<

One time I drempt that I hijacked a fighter jet, somehow knew how to fly it, and took went to outer space with it. >.< -Sigh.-
I'm a wierdo.

Anyways..
I have a sliver in my finger, and it hurts when I hit the delete key for some reason, which sucks for me because I hit that delete key a lot to fix my typos while I go, lol.

I miss the way life used to be, back when things were simple. e.e;'

I watched "Love Hina Again" five minutes ago. I can understand why [Ayame Whitepaws] likes Naru a little more now. The show is so kyoot. ^.^
I want Keitaro Urashima's sister's winged cat thing! That thing is awesome! So much better than the flying turtle. ^.^
But yeah, I own it now, along with the rest of my anime collection.
Wheeee! Naru finally confessed her love for that twerp Keitaro! ^.^!

My favorite anime is still Full Metal Panic! though. o.O;'
Eh? Today has been a long day... A lot of complications, a lot of problems. I lived though, whooo-hoo!

I hope [Ayame Whitepaws] isn't too mad at me about something I said earlier.. >.>
Bleh, shit happens, I'm sure she'll understand. ^.^

I wonder who actually reads this.. Everyone who reads this post me a message to tell me that you reads this! ^.^ Lol.
I'm just curious. ^.^

Time to fix a few misconceptions.

1) [On Any Given Night] *did* break up with me. No I am not looking for a new lover.
2) I *do* love [Ayame Whitepaws] as well as [On Any Given Night], that does not mean that I want to steal [Ayame Whitepaws] from [Miya].
3) The reason why I do *not* want another relationship is because [On Any Given Night] and [Ayame Whitepaws] were my two selected loved ones from the beginning. And, since true love lasts forever, I do not wish for any other loved ones.
4) I wish [Miya] and [Ayame Whitepaws] the best of luck in their relationship.
5) I did *NOT* under any cercumstances cheat on *ANYONE*.

Now that that's taken care of, I wish to give my official singleness announcement!

As I said earlier, I do not want another lover. Love is complex, annoying, selfish, and at the same time... so much fun.
However!
I do not want another relationship because I feel that I have given enough love to [On Any Given Night] and [Ayame Whitepaws] to know what love is really about.
If I ever fall in love with someone else then Yhay, good for me! But.. I do not plan on this. ^.^ I merely want to observe their happiness or sadness for the time being.. until I feel right to move on or be with one of them once again.

Alright, that about wraps things up! ^.^~

I had the lamest dream ever last night.
I was out at school or something and when I got home the entire livingroom was wired. The first thing I noticed was this music playing.. through the remote. (Dont ask) For some reason the remote was working like a wireless headphone and could play music from a speaker up to twenty miles away with a remote speaker which it doesnt really have in real life.
Then when I grabbed my cd player controller to try to shut it up, I somehow turned on every appliance in the room, along with all the lights.
For some reason, the "volume up" button seemed to turn on all the electrical equipment in the room. I was playing with it, and my CD player which normally says, "Welcome!" said, "Please Stop. What You Are Doing Is A Fire Hazard." So I was like, "psh!" and kept doing it, and the CD player went, "Warning: Continue To Abuse This Device And We Will Phone The Police..." and I was like, "...My CD player is possessed.. x.x" and nobody believed me and it was so stupid! >.< So I turned off everything (with the volume down button) and then bitched at someone I dont even know, and woke up.

o.o;'
Then I woke up. I know it's a short dream, but that's because I was only sleeping through that part of my sleep from 5-7. I had to wake up in the middle of the night. -Sigh.-
.<

Ack. I'm going to get a stomach ache just by looking around at this point.
All these people running around screaming, "I don't know who to love!"

Jesus, if you dont know that then you must be pretty stupid.
I know who I love, what's wrong with you people? It doesnt matter if the person I love isn't reachable, what matters is that I love them.
Wewt?

Now I'm going to go wallow in depression, and hopefully watch "Full Metal Panic? FUMOFFU" soon.
Yhay my dad bought ice cream today! That's totally my depression food of choice. o.o Like from scary movie where that one girl has a tub of ice cream like the size of my desk, I want one of those. >.<
(I think it was scary movie anyways..)

...
I'm dizzy and tweeking, leave me alone! O_O

Yes, I ate the cheese, and there's nothing you can do about it.

-Seeping ever deeper into insanity: Lady Skadia the Rogue. ^-^

Hi everyone.
As you may have heard I'm going to be gone for a while. I wont be posting any other messages, so listen up.
I'll be here a little bit now and again, but not much. When I am here I will be concentrating on my Trivia and "Cult" work. I wont be in any position to be in a relationship, so count that out for those of you crazy stalkers out there.
I will be back at an unknown time.
Thank you for your understanding.

-Lady Skadia the Rogue

Hello everyone.
It's been a long time since I posted in my journal, so I decided to post a little bit.
Recently I've faced a few worries about the security of my relationship with [Ayame Whitepaws], all of which have been realized to be complete and utter bullsh1t.
Me and [Ayame Whitepaws] love eachother, and that's all that matters. If Kara or Olivia want to get in our way, so be it. I'd beat both of them down in order to protect my love, which means a lot on my point of view because I used to love Kara, too.
There's currently three days until [Ayame Whitepaws] and I have our third month anniversary, which is officially the longest time we've ever managed to stay together without breaking it off for a while. Exciting for me, maybe not for the other Skadia journal readers though.

I'm a member of the EP Trivia group now, which is a new lift in my EP "career" because, well.. I've never been an important part of anything on here. o.O
I applied to become a Harbringer about four days ago, and still haven't recieved word. I guess if they dont need me, they wont communicate me. o.O

I heard that an old friend died, and it has been confirmed, which is slightly distressing to me, but I never really knew him. If I knew that Kara wasn't a spiteful little b1tch I'd pity her and try to make her happy, but last time I tried that she tried to steal me from my love.
So in other words, screw that. She's on her own. I'd rather sacrophice a friend than a lover, primarily because the friend has bad intentions to begin with.
At any rate, his name was Tyler. He was one of the people on the "cuties of Elftown" wiki, if I remembered the Wiki name correctly.
Anyways, I will miss him slightly, but not noticably.. I dont mean to seem cold.. but it's like..
You know when a grandparent dies, and your entire family is in mourning.. and you feel bad for them, but there's nothing you can do because you have never even met him? Yeah, it's like that, only I've met him. He almost stole my [Ayame Whitepaws] from me once, which gives me even less reason to admire him. He was a friend, nothing more, no potential to be more, to be strikingly blunt.
At any rate, I probably wont forget him either way. I dont have too many friends who are dead, so I try my hardest to keep track of them. Maybe some day when Jess, Kara, and I are on friendly terms instead of b1tchy terms we can go visit his gravesite or something.. you never know.

Speaking of going places.. [Ayame Whitepaws] has told me that she might be coming here for our 3rd month anniversary. I'd better keep my fingers crossed. ^.^

Hmm.. my brother is coming home tomorrow from his extended trip to the United States, Colorado to be exact. Which means.. less time for me to be online. I guess it's unavoidable in some ways.
However, over the summer I'll still be able to come on a lot, probably. Because, well, he works, and I'm too lazy to get a job. Wewt. Hopefully by then [Ayame Whitepaws] will have that computer she is hoping to get.. I cant wait till I can talk to her whenever we want instead of on library hours, lol.

Anyways, that about covers all the updates, thanks for reading. ^.^

-Lady Skadia the Rogue.

Current Mood: Docile
Current Music: Background music from computer lab. Someones overly loud headphones. Apparently crappy music.

-Sigh.- I miss my Jessica so much. :\
I never thought it would suck this bad going on for a day without her.. -Double sigh..- I miss her so much..

As you all can probably tell both me and my beautiful love Jessica have placed notes about eachother on our pages, and hulariously enough not too much about ourselves. :P
Hehehe.. just shows where our priorities currently lie! <33!

I love her so much. To think... in another.. say.. 6-7 hours I'll be able to see here again, hopefully.. I cant wait.. these are going to be the longest 6-7 hours of my life.. >.<

I so want my beautiful Mistwess Jessica here.. I wanna snuggle..
See how mopey I get without her? >.<
Bleh..

I heard that an old friend of mine, Tyler, has passed away.. for some reason I am compelled to discard the information.. I just cant see a guy like that dying for no apparent reason, you know? Besides, apparently he is/was the "God of Men" so.. God would have to have the sickest sense of humour possibile to take the "God of Men" away. :P Lols.

Anyways.. none of that is relevent at the moment anyways.. what's relevent is my severe withdrawl of Jess. >.< I need need need need to see my love sooooon.. Or I'll start halucinating and tweeking like a meth addict who's trying to quit, haha. ^.^

Anywayz, gotsa goes now.. Need to find something to do.. besides think about and worship my beautiful goddess.. haha. ^.^

G'night everyone.

Current Mood: Bored and Jess-longing.
Current Music: Eyes On Me Techno Remix - Faye Wong (FFVIII song.)

-Sigh.- Where'd Jess go?
She's not here today, she's usually here. -Slightly worried.-
I'm so bored without her.. and helpless.. haha. XD

Anyways, I watched an anime that I absolutely refused to watch before called Full Metal Panic, and after seeing the first four episodes I decided that I liked it. I hate it when that happens. You avoid something for so long because of biast judgement oppinions, and then when someone finally gets you to try it or see it or whatever, you decide you like it. It makes me feel retarded, lol. >.<
Whoa, holy crap. Jess is on! ~*Noticed her name on the "Last Logins" list.*~ :P

I'll post more later!

Hihi everyone. I'm on one of THOSE moods. You know, the moods where you serverely wish to see your loved one, which is my case is the amazingly beautiful kyoot and intelligent [Ayame Whitepaws], but cannot see her due to cercumstances out of your control. Bleh. Shyte happens, I guess, and life goes on.

I gotta say though.. I don't really like admitting this publicly, but really, check out the picture she added to her site, it's friggen sexy. -Drools dramaticly.-
Yeah, as you can tell I'm in one of ThOsE moods too!-Wink, wink!-

Anyways!
Bored out of my bloody mind, and going through severe love withdrawls, I really need to see my [Ayame Whitepaws] at least once a day or else my withdrawls to my Jess-addiction make me feel crazy. o.O

-Sigh.- I hope she logs on soon. Then I can yiff the hell out of her. XD Lol, just playin'. (Or am I..?)

Okays, time to go find something to do. Lub yah Jess. <3

Gah, Unmountable_Boot_Volume error! >.<! Now I cant get on my computer at home until I get a SoftPaq update, which I'm planning on going to a friends house tonight to go get.
-Sigh.-
Taking care of a piece-of-crap computer is sooo hard! It's really getting to me, bleh, I'm so tired of this garbage. >.<
I just got a really psychotic idea... maybe I can fix it without that thing anyways.. I dont know yet.. hopefully I can get it to work without reformatting.. if not, I should be back online at home on saturday. >.< Bleh! So tired of computers... -.-

-Sigh.- I finally managed to beat Final Fantasy VIII yesterday without cheating. I'm pretty proud of myself. The final boss was a biatch, lol. Anyways, right now I'm at school, ignoring the fact that I am sort of behind in my DS work.. and.. sorta sitting here, typing in a journal because there's nothing better to do. All in all I'd say that things are going good for me. I recieved the most pedophilish card eber, though. I wish people were more mature. I found a random diary I used to keep a long time ago (like a year ago) that said all the people I used to have crushes on and looking back I think, "Eww..? That's gotta be some mistake..." because umm.. the people were nasty... especially now since I have the beautiful [Ayame Whitepaws] who is coming over to visit very soon, I hope. My friend Stephanie says she wants an EP, but I dont let her on my computer. It's annoying. She really needs her own place, I really need a break from her. She totally gets soo many chances to use the computer, she's just out too much to take advantage of them. I dont know what she's complaining about! >_< Anyways, right now I miss my lub, I'm sure you all know who I'm refering to when I say that. -Sigh.- It's so boring here without her...
A random newb asked me to cyber today. To make a short story shorter, I told him to go die. Gotta love my personallity, it's so.. what's the word for it... honestly bitter to people who I think are pathetic.. Funny though. We watched a movie about Crystal Meth today for school, and my friends think that out of all our other friends I'd be the funniest to watch tweaking out on Meth. Not that I wanna try it or anything, that's sick what tweakers do. We watched a video about a tweaker. He beat the crap out of his friend because the friend was trying to help him, and then he picked at his flesh for a few hours. Can you say NaStAy? Lol. Anywho, bored out of my bloody mind. I think I'd better get some DS work done, afterall, I am in DS class anyways.
Lub ya'll friends of mine! Lub my Mistwess Jessica x infinate squared though! So there! Haha. :P

Current Mood: I wanna go home.. v.v
Current Music: The aggravating sound of 40 computer fans in one room. o.O

Lately has been much more of an aggravation than it's been worth. My computer, though it be "sort of" operational is stil la very taxing.. Piece of crap? >.< -Sigh.- It'd be easier just to buy a whole new system, lol.
More importantly... I feel kinda bad..
Because my computer has been tweeking so much lately, and had sooo many problems.. Jess has gotten slightly neglected of my attention.. >.<
I wish she was here, I wanna cuddle my love again for a while.. <3
I had the worse dream.. remember World War II when the Nazi's occupied Jewville(s) and stole all the Jews from their towns and baked em' up?
I had a dream that it was the same thing, only modernized, and the Nazis somehow invaded Canada first, instead.. It really mad no sense what so ever, but this Nazi guy came to my door and was like, "I am authorized to take any man, woman, or child from this home to the 'Paint House', by force if required."
I was like, "What the...?" And then my mom was stalling him and the first thing I did was get on the computer and start balling my eyes out about probably not getting to see Jess forever, and telling her about what was happening. >.<
See! See! I told you I'm stupid! But but! At least I love my love. ^.^ Oh.. and about the paint house.. dont ask, I dont know either.. >.< I'm definitely wierder when I'm asleep. Lol.
Anyways.. I hope Jess logs on soon.. I ReaLLy miss my lovergurl, lol. ^.^

I'm even more aggravated than before. Wanna know why? In the past three days I've had to reformat my computer about... 5 times in order to get some lame hacker to stop screwing with my computer, and it's really annoying! He destroyed the harddrive, I mean, Christ, how far would anyone who is a respectable, non-psychotic queerbate go just to make someone unable to come online? Anyways, it's getting REALLY fricken' annoying! Lol.

Secondly, I had to leave early again today to reformat again. -Sigh.- I'm sorry Jess, I love you. >.<
I'm bored out of my mind. Where's the entertainment in this world?! >_<
Maybe I should get back to re-installing my programs.. >.< I dont feel like it anymore though.. -Sigh.- ... Stuff happens, I guess.. v.v

Current Mood: Missing Jessica.
Current Music: None, Reformatted, remember?

I am aggrivated. Not by the factthat I am sick of school, and yet am still required or being forced to suffer through it, but for the simple fact that I miss my Jess more than what is imaginable. I haven't seen her for like.. nearly a week, I think, and I miss her soo much. I wonder when I'll get to see her again...

Anyways, school's going great, a jerk I hate got kicked out of Design Studies for not doing his work, that's always a positive part of my day. (Kicked out permanently, he doesn't have enough stuff done to pass no matter what.)

I've decided to take the graphical side of DS, which would be... visual animations and effects, instead of the arcitectual form of DS, do you all think that's a good choice for someone like me? o.o;

I'm tired. Definately not hungry though..(people gave me a lunch because I forgot mine at home) But.. I'm still slightly bitchy. I get this way when I dont see someone I love enough. -Hint, hint!- Lol.

I miss my Jess. I love her so much.

Well, am I to be honest, or lie? Honestly, i would simply love to say that i am bored, and not talking anymore in capitals at correct intervals because the shift key on this keyboard is making me angry, and that i will probably stop backspacing and correcting my typos because the backspace key is aggrivating, too.

Also, honestly, i would like to say that i miss my jess, and am wondering where she is. this is the worst time possible, well, except period two to have a spare, and its really getting me ticked off. i wanna sleep in or go home early or something, but no, that'd make my life too easy.

they put me in a library, with a spare, on period three, because i got kicked out of design class for a week.. lol. fun, fun!~

anyways, ia miss \jess and im sorry for my typing errors i just hate this bloody keyboard, if you know me you'd know that im not normally this horrible. it hurts my arm to type on this keyboard. it sucks horribly. i hope jess gets here soon.