[Inspiration]'s diary

13279  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-15
Written: (7163 days ago)

  So here it is folks! Elfpack is back up and running...*jumps for joy and trips* Oi! *limps slightly* Now then I have a bit to tell you.
   To star this I'd like to first state one new development. Since talking to Tyan I picked up my 'Flogging Molly' CD. Now normally I only listen to them when Im sad, but Im starting to liek them more and more, and Im tellin you they are starting to be my favorite. Heh...So Id liek to say "[?] Richard and his court of kings, stole my heart and many other things, But me I stole his crown. I wish he was here to steal it now..."
   Now on to the important things. I finally came to the conclusion of my Ally dilemma, yes I know how I feel. I found a few days ago that I am inlove with Ally. sweet sweet Ally, shes, well Ally is so special. If I could explain to you the wonders that she holds, the greatness she fills me with, the most wodnerful love I would only be coming up short because the feeling I have of her cannot be described cannot be shown, known, unless felt. I've never felt so happy in all my life. For once i have it all planned out and know where I want to be in a few years from now. I want to be dating Ally and giving her everythign I feel for her. she is so special and I dont know if she knows it. Mostly I want to tlka about the difference of Loving someone and being IN love with someone. See Loving someone is simplicit, you love them and would be there for them, but being IN love with someone is deeper more spiritual. Being In love is like being in the most wodnerful situation ever. I always knew what love was, but never knew what it was liek to be IN love 'til now. Tingles guys! F'in Tingles, You ever felt Tingles? Oh man let me tell you its liek beign excited and anxious at once and it feels liek yer whole body fell asleep, and you feel liek its all a dream because something like that feels so wodnerful it must be a dream. I dont want to ramble but I just wanted to update and tell you how much I love that precious gurl Ally. "The window is the east, and Ally is the sun. Arise fair sun and kill the envious moon who is already sick and pale with grief that thou is more lvoely than she." *grins*

13105  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-04-11
Written: (7168 days ago)

Yes Ally is aborad on my mind, SO! You wanna make soemthin of it? lol...Yeah well lately more than ever cuz ims lowly getting closer to that point...you knwo what that point is right? Well for those of you that dont know its that point where yer just ready to fall but you need to think it over before you do. You're thinking, okay sure lets do it, lets jump, but you say now what does that mean if I do? Its a long thought process but takes little time. But Im taking a long time. See I think soemtimes its stupid to fall for a gurl whos over this computer screen, no gurl to touch, no gurl to hold, but shes still there right? well Im not sure how this whole thing works but Im gonna lay this down Alright and you can make of it what you will...

Okay when I first ever started getting good at RP I fell for this Asian gurl, her name is not important for you to know but regardless i fell for her, and she and I ended up losing contact til i moved to OH for the first time. i was ina three month relationship at the time, but this gurl had a promising future so I felt, so I ended my three month relationship and pursued a quiet tragedy witht his asian gurl. Well she told me she was getting married to someone and it was right before I went to Michigan with my best buddy Dan. So when we went I thought the whole ordeal out and I had alot of time and I concluded I wanted her so bad I would marry her to have her. Well approximately 3 seconds later a car wrecked right infront of me in dan RIGHT INFRONT OF US! That was a bad omen for sure...so I did not marry the gurl. We lost contact and she got married, we lost contact purely of her choice and since then its been two years. Int hat tiem I moved to florida for seven months and came back here.

Well now Im here and I had decided since that ordeal no relationships over the net. Good choice and it held true, held so true. I have tlkaed to the Asian gurl a few times but really not much. Well Im Rping and sticking to my rule of no net realtionships until. Ally. Yes the very same. She hit me like a f'in shark attack people. it was like blinsiding me with something special and cute...I sit and I think how I feel every second of everyday of every week of every month. Slowly but surely Im concluding things and Im finding that I want to be with her very much, and Id almost do anything to make that possibility a reality. Thats what sacres me so much, its almost liek the situation with the Asian gurl and that means, maybe I'm starting to fall in...*gulps*...love with Ally. That is the scariest F'in thing in my life.

Now as some of you might know or dont I've only truly loved a few people in my life, and love is on all levels but true love for soemone more than friends the three cases were...Audra, A gurl I gace alot too and dated for a while, The asian gurl I already went on about, and the third was Victoria, yes victoria i havent tlaked about her, but she was possibly the greatest love in my life. But those three are the only one I have ever said i lvoe you and meant it so deep i would have gave up enternity for them. Maybe Ally will be the ofurth and final love. People never understand how I can love more than one person, htey dont udnerstand I lvoed them all on different levels...even those three I lvoed on different levels but i would have gave anything to lvoe them that way. Im not sure how I feel about Alex and I probably wont know for awhile but Im hoping Ill figure it out and when I do she'll be the first to know, whether I love her or something else is yet to be discovered, but no matter what i hope we stay freinds til she decided shes ready to love me or not...If I believe anything is possible right?


                          -BD

13019  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-04-09
Written: (7169 days ago)

So Ally went to Florida today...*sighs* You have no idea how much im gonna miss her for the next 8 days? I thinkt hats right lol. I went to the concert last night wooo...Consoling dara was f'in awesome! I loved 'em. Want to know more go to www.consolingdara.com My friend dan knows Jerimiah, and I met the guy so I sorta know him, there gonna be a live acoustic show at sips this staurday and I think em adn dan might go. The volume was a bit loud so you couldnt hear the lyrics but otherwise they were great! There were two other bands but I thought Consoling Dara was the best, marksjet wasnt too bad. The first band that played we didnt hear much but they sounded good, but I liekd Consoling Dara the best, maybe Im byist? They seemed to have more energy, I mean sheesh me and Dan seemed to have more energy then the crowd yanno? no bouncing no nodding...a little bounsing..but no jumping...its was sad and so not energetic, but oh well...
For those of you who dont know Ally is a gurl I really like and met through RP. Kind of wierd the way I met her, even more peculiar is the fact that I think Im falling for her. I never have seen her and dont even know too much except what we talk about every night. I mean sheesh I was lookin out the window on the way home and say this backyard with swings and stuff and said, "awww I used to swing on swings like that when I was little, I wish I could be little again, but then I wouldnt have found Ally yet. When I'm older I need to have kids to get swings liek that...Kids with Ally someday maybe." And I just got warm tingles, what do those mean, is that the tingly feeling people tell you about when yer in...the four letter word. I refuse to say that word 'til i know I really, you know...Ally. Well maybe one day, one day soon, Ill see you, Ill see you soon. Come back from Florida, by the way my dad lives in OP in Jacksonville, FL. Coincidence her mom lives there? Oh I think not, maybe its written in the stars, but then again I am a believer, and have a serious Peter Pan complex...lol
                                   -BD

12951  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-04-08
Written: (7170 days ago)
Next in thread: 12957, 12958

So I guess I'm joined up the rightful way eh? I feel like Im initiated into soem secret organization *grins* like that show what was it...on Nickolodeon a long time ago, after dark or whatever...man this is cool stuff..so I suppose you guys would liek to know about me maybe alittle? Well My name is there so you knwo that but my friends call me BD...lol...Im int he AF just havent gone to basic training yet awaiting my recruiter grrrr...thing is hes lazy lol...sad huh? lol...anyways Thats about it oh and I play bass in a band...or I would if I could gte me a new bass...The band is Intentionally left blank and we are unofficialy not a band hahaha...and unofficialy are a band...wierd that way huh? anywyas..thats msotly about me just waiting to go the airforce..int he mentime Ill be RPing in Ayenee (yahoo)...so maybe see ya then...

 The logged in version 

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