I am soo tired...
Tired of being that girl who's "just a friend", "the little sister" or "one of the guys"
I want to be the girl who's "yeah she's mine" Or "I love her soo much"
Why is it that every time I feel like I could love someone they turn right around and tell me that they love someone else? Why can't I ever be the one who's loved?!
Damnit! I'm tired.. And as of right now I give up...
I give up on looking, I give up on trying to find "Mr. Right" because as far as I'm conserned, he doesn't exsist!
Or at least not for me anyways...
If he did exsist, wouldn't I have found him by now? Wouldn't I be happy?
I know one thing's for sure, I wouldn't constantly be getting my heart broken over and over.
If it breaks any more there isn't gonna be any left!
All around me my friends are in love and happy, they've all got boyfriends, and are engaged, and are pregnant or already have kids.
Me I've got nothing!! But splotchy eyes, and runny nose, tear streaked cheeks and a heart that's ripping at the seams...
I'm happy for my friends, I can't be nothing but happy for them. But I do feel a pang of jelousy when I see them, their eyes shining with love and a smile on their faces.. I wish it was me... I wish so bad that I was in love and was loved back...
But I guess that's not for me...
and its not fair!!
Ok well I think this is where I'm gonna end this..
Sadly your's
~Kristen
a.k.a. ladynightengal
Ok, I know that I just left an entry but I just found this and thought it was really good, so I thought I'd share... Hope you like it....
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasnt supposed to ever let us down probably will.
You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts.
You'll fight with your best friend and maybe even fall out with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt.
Life comes with no guarentees, no time outs, no second chances.
You just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someones hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt and smile until your face hurts.
Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry is a second of happiness you can never get back !
Wow! Haven't made one of these in a while... what to type down?
Lets see.... A diary entry...Well, I think I'll just start by telling you how I've been doing and go from there. How does that sound?
Ok, well, I am wonderful. I have been very busy with church and play practice.
I'm in the process of becomming a member of my church, and that's really exciting! And, I'm also preparing for my baptism on the 12th of November, which I'm also very excited for! However, I am kinda nervous...
Oh! I am also in a play at my church. It's a chiristmas play; called "I'll be home for Christmas" and its about a bunch of people who live in an appartment complex, who have become friends over the years and consider eachother family!
It takes place in the year 1941, around the time of the December 7th attack. Its really, REALLY good. I love it, and the first time I read through the script I cried.
Ummm... What else.... Oh! I'm looking for a job, so that I can pay my doctor bills and my phone bills... Hopefully soon I'll get one...
But, other than that folks...My life is pretty boring...
So I guess that brings my diary entry to a conclusion, Wouldn't you say?
Ok well have a wonderful day all...
~ladynightenga
a.k.a
Kristen
well accoriding to this message i should leave a diary note...
{Message to all: Isn't it time to write a diary-note so that all your friends get reminded about you? ;)}
...but now that i am i have nothing to say so i guess i'll leave a better one someonther day ^.^
so can somebody tell me how to earn cool points? what are they for? i've been gone for too long.