You can't hide from fear itself

Have you ever had that feeling, when you just know something is going to happen, and there is nothing, not a thing you can do to stop it? You just sit there, helpless; knowing something bad is going to happen. I gathered my legs beneath me, and pulled the blanket tighter around my arms. It was one hour left to midnight. I had one hour left.
The lights had gone out a long time ago, I didn’t know exactly when. I was too afraid to think clear. All I remembered was that the voice had said twelve o’clock. And that now, it was eleven. The grand clock in the hall stroke, and with each stroke, it grew colder. I had tried to lid candles and even the fireplace, but it just went out again.
I could hear my breath, hard, and irregular. I didn’t dare to go out. I didn’t dare to move from the corner I had barricaded in, I felt safe there, I could see all the windows, and the doors, but the persons that entered, couldn’t see me.
All hallows eve. It had to be that day. When I was younger, I went trick and treating. But this year I was to old, and I had to stay at home. My mom and dad had gone out. Enjoy yourself, they said, have some friends over. 
Yeah right, I thought to myself. The rain was pouring down outside, and now and then, a lightening cut across the sky. Normally I would have been fascinated with the lightning, but not tonight.
I decided I had to move, my legs were sleeping, and I almost couldn’t walk. It felt like small needles in my legs as I got up, I still held the blanket around me, like it could protect me. The living room was completely dark. I waited for a lightening before I moved. The white light lighted up the room in a scary way, all the furniture looked white, and the shadows were almost alive.
It was almost as I wanted to sit down and cry. But then, the clock suddenly stroked again, 11.30. My entire body froze. Just half an hour left. They would come and get me. They would come, all of them.
I didn’t have any chance. In desperation, I torn the front door opend and ran out. My mind was thinking of a way to escape. The forest was around the house as a cage. Trees were locking me in on ever side. I stood in the middle of the garden, my pulse high, and tears ran down my cheeks. What was I going to do? A lightening suddenly stroke. I backed away from the house. I had seen a face in a window, the in room I had left just seconds ago. The wind and rain were blinding me, but I turned around and ran to the forest. All the way, I heard voices behind me, calling my name, whispering to me. Hand was reaching out for me, trying to pull me down, stop me. I cold run as fast as the wind, but they would still be there. They were always there. They never left my head alone.
I couldn’t scream, just run, I was too afraid, too afraid….
The rain was pouring down around me. I was sitting under a tree, in the middle of the dark forest. I was singing a song, a small song, that my mother had told me when I was a little girl, long before the voices had come. The song disappears in the thunder, and I just sit there. I am always afraid.  I always am. You can’t protect yourself from voices in your head. Especially not on all hallows eve.


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