My PoEmS

Slowly Fading To Dust

Roses Are Red
violets are blue
i can not believe..
i got so attached to you

You were like barbed wire
wrapped around my heart
with every breath i took
you ripped me apart

Each little beat
is another small cut
i dont know what it takes
to sew it all shut

Drip drip away..
losing all my trust
just another broken memory.
slowly fading to dust.


Dont Fall In Love

Have you ever fallen in love,
but knew they did not care?
have you ever felt like crying,
but knew you'd get no where?

have you ever watched them walk away...
not wanting them to go?
and whispered"i love you"softly...
not wanting them to know?

you cried all night in a misery,
and almost went insane.
theres nothing in this world
that causes so much pain.

if i could choose between love and death,
i think id rather die.
love is fun,but it hurts too much
and the price you pay is high.

so i say dont fall in love,
youll be hurt before its through.
you see my friend i ought to know,
i fell in love with you.


Goodbye Every Memory

To much time together
yet to much time apart
I'm sick of all this suffering
its tearing at my heart..

i gave you everything
but still you want more
i have no energy left
as i slowly fall..

memories flashing through my head
remind me of the past
i wish i could relive those days
i wish it would have last..

i remember all the good times
the ones that i loved best
but now its time to ease the pain
to put my soul to rest..

no more will you hurt me
no more will i cry
GOODBYE EVERY MEMORY
no more will you lie..

its time to let you go
its time to ease the pain
GOODBYE EVERY MEMORY
i have so much left to gain..

this time its going to happen
I'm finally letting go
GOODBYE EVERY MEMORY
its time you finally know..

i never once needed you
but still you were always there
showing me what happened
and acting like you care..

but memory that is over
its time you finally know
i don't want you no more
so just F U C K ING GO!!!


Story Of A Girl

She sits in her corner
singing herself to sleep
wrapped in all of the promises
that no one seems to keep.

she no longer cry's to herself
no tears left to wash away
just diaries of empty pages
feelings gone astray.

walking through life unnoticed
knowing that no one cares
to consume and then masquerade
no one sees her there.

she doesn't want your pity
she just wants to be heard
but no one takes the time to listen
they don't even hear a word.

she has no one to turn to
no one there at all
she slowly starts to stumble
she slowly starts to fall

she hates this life shes living
she just wants to fade away
but no one seems to care
that her lifes become this way


As She Takes Her Life Away

There she sits so helpless
Just waiting for that special day
The day she set aside
When she'll take her life away

Up until that day
She'll screw her life up more
Taking all the drugs
And cutting like before

Stories of her messed up life
Are written on her skin
Keeping count of all the times
The knife just tends to win

Scarlet scars upon her wrists
Tell of all the times
She tried to go but something
Stopped her suicidal crimes

Her blood shot eyes tell of all
The countless times she's cried
She has no more tears to cry
So her end she will decide

As that day comes around
When her precious life she'll take
She'll bring up all the pain inside
And one more cut she'll make

Never will she stop to think
Of all the people she will miss
You can call it ignorance
But ignorance is bliss

As she starts to think about
The story of her life
She wants to end if faster
Just to end all her strife

She curls up in the corner
And she begins to cry
All the while voices whisper
Just f u c k ing go and die

Mascara tears leak from her eyes
And stain her pale, white face
Trailing down her satin cheeks
Depression's line they trace

She sinks her nails down in her arm
As she begins to shake
Substituting physical pain
For the pain from her heart ache

As she slowly falls apart
She starts to crave her blade
She takes it out and wastes no time
To add to the cuts she's made

She drags the blade along her skin
As she watches the blood pour out
She feels control run through her body
And the voices cease to shout

She puts away her razor blade
With no sign of regret
She knows that she will do it again
For the pain she can't forget

As she starts to breathe again
And her shaking finally stops
Her weak and fragile body goes
To her bed and drops

Her eyes begin to slowly close
As she thinks about that day
Where all her struggles end as soon
As she takes her life away


He Loves You

Forget his name, forget his face,
Forget his kiss and warm embrace.
Forget the time you spent together.
Forget it all he is gone forever.

Forget the fact that he once cared,
Forget the love that he once shared.
Forget his love that once was true,
Remember now there is someone new.

Forget you cried all night long,
Forget him when they play your song.
Forget how close you once were.
Remember how he chose her.

Forget you memorized the way he walked.
Forget the way that he talked.
Forget the times he made you mad.
Remember how he made you feel so sad.

Forget the thrills when he said, Hi!
Forget the times he made you cry.
Forget the way he said your name.
Remember now he is not the same.

Forget you saw him yesterday.
Forget his gentle and teasing way.
Forget the things you had planned to do.
Remember now he is not with you.

Forget the times that went so fast.
Forget it all it is in the past.
Forget he said, I'll leave you never.
Remember now he is gone forever.

Forget the past that I once knew.
Forget it all leave it too.
Cause he no longer loves me...
..He loves you...


Suicide Note

Sorry! for all Ive done
i wont get in your way
and by the time you read this
on my death bed i will lay

I'm worthless and lonely
so i think this is for the best
i needed to kill myself
and put myself at rest

its not like anyone will care
or anyone will bother
i was just a silly kid
that was hated by another

i do not want a funeral
don't go to the expense
just chuck me away in the rubbish
you know that it makes sense

give all my stuff to the poor
and burn the pictures of me
i don't want anyone to know
what i was like, i don't want them to see....

My Life

In a state of depression
i try to clear my mind
sanity is barely visible
common sense is hard to find

the pain is so unbearable
sometimes i want to die
all that i can do
is lay in bed and cry

i need someone to trust
one true friend
maybe they can help me
to put this to an end

my mind is going blank
my memories turning hazy
if i don't find some one soon
i think i might go crazy

the pain is quickly growing
I'm feeling kind of weak
i just want someone there for me
love is all i seek

i look at the shiny blade
stained by all my tears
thinking about my life
and how this will end my fears

then the memories come flooding back
its stuck in my head
theres no use in killing myself
cause I'm already DEAD!!!


Broken Doll

I am a broken doll
average i am no more
on the outside perfection
but my heart is bruised and sore

they call me broken doll
because of my broken heart
my heart broke long ago
now its in two parts

the only visible sign of hurt
is the sadness in my eyes
no one knows how i feel
my smile is my disguise

i am a porcelain doll
with a very broken heart
my thoughts are what broke it
and its tearing me apart

inside my tears are falling
continuously non stop
my broken hearts getting heavier
with every single drop

inside my broken heart
is swimming in my tears
its thinking of all the tragedies
sadness and fears

i am a broken doll
who'll be broken evermore
on the outside you'll never notice
but my heart is bruised and sore...

When Im Gone

After I'm gone
how will you cope?
so much emotion
with not much hope.

I'm losing it slowly
but you cannot see
the scared little girl
inside of me

everyday
i wish to die
to spread my wings
i wish to fly.

i wish to leave
this awful place
i wish my life
was full of grace.

and when I'm gone
don't ask why?
cause your the reason
i had to die!!


Angel Of My Nightmare

The angel of my nightmare
keeps me dark within
there with her broken wings
a face full of sin.

the angel of my nightmare
is turning out to be
a scared little girl
no one will ever see.

the angel of my nightmare
is messing with my head
with every cut she made
imthe one who bled.

the angel of my nightmare
is hurting me deep inside
she just wants to run away
she just wants to hide.

but the more i try to help her
the more i cannot see
laying there with the broken wings
that little girl is....ME!!

now i understand
now i know why
with all the hurt shes feeling
im the one to cry!!!


My Heart Lay Bleeding

I feel as though my heart lay bleeding
On a counter-top.
The pain is like a flooded scream
That cannot, will not stop.

I cannot live, I cannot breathe
Pain is all I do.
I cannot think how I can be
living without you.

Ah, God! I want you back so bad
That I would gladly die.
To hold you in my arms again
And not care how or why.

To hold you in my arms again
And tell you of my love,
and as I slowly drift away
"I'll see you up above!"

Its Over

It's over
What else can I say?
You made your choice
And walked away.

It's over
There's no turning back,
And my heart was broken
Just like that.

It's over
And there is nothing I can do,
But gather up the memories
Of the things we used to do.

It's over
How else can I explain?
You went your separate way
Now nothing is the same.

It's over
And all the tears I've cried,
Wont bring back the love
You used to feel inside.

It's over
I have to forget you now,
To stop loving you is hard,
But I must do it somehow.

Because it's over
And I'll never have you again.
No matter how much I begged you
Our relationship came to an end.

But it's over now
No matter what I try
You just wont come back to me,
No matter the tears I cry...

I just need to let you know,
That you will always own my heart,
Although shattered and broken
You'll carry it, all torn apart....

Sweet Angel Of Death

Sweet angel of death
Please come, take me away
Guide my soul to your gates
Don't let me suffer another day

Caress me with your strength
Shelter me with your wings
Take my life in your hands
Give me the pleasures that death brings

Don't let me cry another tear
Don't let me draw another scar
I'm exhausted from all this hurt
Please take me where ever you are

Don't let them see my mistakes
Don't let them hurt me one more time
Have mercy on my soul
Death is all I crave to find

Sweet angel of death
Take pity on this worthless heart
Take my last breath with your lips
From this world I wish to depart

If anyone understands me
Is this blade in my hand
Your instrument to make this wish
Part of your command

Don't turn your back on me
Your the only one that can set me free
I need your angels touch
To finally complete this destiny

I cut my wrist, blood flowing freely
Taking me slowly far from this place
Finally I am on my way to paradise
Finally I'll see my sweet angels face

The Way I Am

Do you know what its like,
to wish everyday you were dead?
to listen to the lies and torments,
of the voices in your head?
do you always wish, just to stay asleep?
or do you feel the pain of your wrist,
while your cutting it to deep?
do you ever wonder, does anybody care?
or have you ever fell to deep,
with no one even there?
have you ever loved someone, so much it hurt?
or even tried to kill yourself,
but the blood failed to squirt?
i hate the way i am, and who i was before..
i built myself this room, but i forgot to build a door..
now i cant escape, my minds begun its war..
insanity taking over, digging its way inside..
I'm trying to escape, this corner is where ill hide..
but hidings not enough, i begin to die..
as i slowly fall to my knees, i ask myself why?
then all the memories come flooding back,
as well as the tears i cry
so much hate and anger, frustration and pain
now I'm lying on the floor, with nothing left to gain
I'm trying to imagine, but still there is no door
i have nothing left in life, as i slowly die on this floor
i need someone to help, but they never hear me scream and yell
i don't know who i really am, but only time can tell
i know you'll never understand, I'm not asking you to
but this is who i am and this is what i do

OtHeR sTuF!

["Lie to me"] she whispered ["I love you"] he said...

[*:. .:* .:* *:. *:. .:* .:* *:. .:* *:. *:. .:* .:* *:. *:. .:*:. .:* .:* *:. *:. .:* .:*] Love is when you miss him even before he leaves, when you could listen to him talk all night and never get tired of hearing his voice, when the sound of his name sends chills down your spine, and you see his smile the second you close your eyes [*:. .:* .:* *:. *:. .:* .:* *:. .:* *:. *:. .:* .:* *:. *:. .:* *:. .:* *:. *:.]

[Can you raed tihs?] Olny srmat poelpe can.I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the [olny iprmoatnt tihng] is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a [taotl mses] and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. [Amzanig huh?] yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot [slpeling was ipmorantt!]

I’ve been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I’ve come to believe my souls on the other side.
the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me, To sharp to put back together.
To small to matter, But big enough to cut me into little pieces

You’re [killing me] inside... and... I’m [scared to die].

People like you are the reason people like me need medication.

[*:. .:*:. .:*]You once told me that whenever i needed you and you werent there, just look to the stars and there you will be... Well tonight i needed you, i looked up but not once did i see you[*:. .:*:. .:*]

Always [forgive] your enemies -- Nothing [annoys] them so much.

[*:. .:*:. .:*]Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes... just be an illusion[*:. .:*:. .:*]

Im gonna [give up] again.. cuz thats all [i] can really do.. so here i will say it [out loud] for you.. im finally [ Giving Up]..

[ laughing ] is good exercise. It's like [jogging] on the inside

I WOULD RATHER BE [ HATED ] FOR WHO [ I AM ] THAN BE [ LOVED ]FOR SOMEONE [ I'M NOT.]


In truths that she learned
Or in times that he cried,
In the bridges he burned
Or the way that she died…

[*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:.*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:. .:*:.]