Autozone Idiots

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2006-10-21 06:45:01

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<img:http://www.signresource.net/images/press_release_photos/autozone.jpg>

As you all know, I work at Autozone. And throughout my everyday experiences, I have come across some really stupid people. Here are my stories.

Stupid things customers feel the need to do.

They always feel the need to call me up JUST to tell me what kind of car they drive. Example: "Yeah I drive a 96 Plymouth Voyager" And?? Your point?

For some reason, quite a few of them call to ask this question. "Yeah I need, a uhh, 2001 honda accord." ....And? Your asking the wrong place, you might need to try a dealer for that item...

Then there are the ones who think I am a robot, they call and say this. "Yeah I have a 2005 Dodge Stratus, front wheel drive, 4 cylinder, 2.5 liter engine, It comes with blah blah blah blah blah." And of course they have to list off everything the damn car came with all within 10 seconds. And usually the part they want has nothing to do with any of it, such as brake pads. It's okay because I make them repeat it at least twice hehe.

Then there are the cocky guys who have to say the name of their car as often as possible. "Yeah I have a Ford Mustang blah blah blah blah my Mustang came with a 5.0 blah blah I need brake pads for my Mustang blah blah And that is for a Mustang correct? Blah blah blah my Mustang this my Mustang that." I dont care about your goddamn Mustang! It sucks!

And of course we cant forget the guys who will walk up to the counter and ask me "You have any guys around who can help me?" What do you need? "I dont know if you can help me but I need...." No I cant help you, I'm just paid to stand here and look pretty. They just hire morons girls here who dont know what their doing for your sheer annoyance. Now what do you want!

And then we have the retards who come in looking for parts for their SAAB's and such. We look up the parts and then they get mad when we tell them we dont stock it! Sorry we dont stock parts in our American stores for your Swedish shitbox! The SAAB dealer just so happens to conveniently get shipments of parts for your car directly from Sweden! Well how about that!

Oh! And we have the idiots who dont know what kind of car they drive! They come in and they will tell me what they want and magically expect me to know what they drive! Ill ask them year, make, and model, and they look at me like I have 5 heads! Or they will say "I have a Honda" Yeah? Honda what! "Uhh Civic" What year? "I dont know..." Well then I cant help you sorry! Take your dumbass elsewhere! Or they cant grasp the simple concept of engine size. Ill ask if they have a 4 or 6 cyliner, and they look at me like im speaking Japanese! And then I tell them to go find out, they will walk outside, start at their car for a few seconds, come back in and tell me they dont know lol! So I have to go outside and look under the hood for the morons!

Then you have the foreign guys who come in and you cant understand a damn word they say! I have no examples because I cant even pronounce the crap they say!

Oh and the guys who dont know what the part is called! "Yeah I need the thing that goes inbetween here and here" What? What the fuck are you talking about? And then they get mad at you for not being able to figure it out! Or the people who will say one thing and mean another! Like this one guys who called and put a wheel cylinder on hold and came in to pick it up. I bring it to the guy and he says "this isnt it". So I look it up and tell him "this is the correct wheel cylinder for your car." So then he tries to describe it to me and I grab him another part "This isnt it either its a wheel cylinder". So I tell him that I already brought out the wheel cylinder. So then he randomly whips out a brake caliper from out of nowhere and says "It looks like this". Omfg! You just wasted 20 minutes of my damn time! Damn idiot!

And you cant forget the pervs who come into Autozone and have to wink at you every chance they get, or compliment your smile or your eyes. Its fucking disgusting! Damn pervs!

Oh and there are the idiots who have to call three times for the same part! Such as this moron who called for an alternator and I needed to know if it was an 11 o' clock setup or 4 o' clock setup. So as im on the phone with him my friend says "that guy just called a minute ago about the same thing" So I hang up with the guy and the phone rings 20 seconds later and she answers and its the same friggen guy asking the same damn thing! So they hang up and 20 seconds later the guy walks in the door with the alternator from his car! Like he must have called three times from the damn parking lot! Moron!

Then there are the ones who come in who are just plain nasty. Like this one woman who came in with an International brand battery and asked if we could "Pro-rate" it for her. So I tell her "we could if this was an autozone battery but it isnt". So for about a minute she argues that she bought it not too long ago and blah blah so I tell her again that it isnt an autozone battery. She then wants to buy one from us so I look it up and tell her that the cheapest one we have is 49.99. She then proceeds to argue that she called two weeks ago and was given the price of 39.99 for the battery, being very nasty about it. So I tell her "Im sorry but our systems say that the cheapest one is 49.99." And I even looked it up for different engine size and such to see if maybe the person she talked to looked it up wrong, which it was 49.99 no matter how you looked it up. I ask her "Do you know who you talked to?" To have her reply, "If I did I wouldnt be standing here" with her nasty attitude again. SO she continues to argue and I go in the back and get one of my managers to deal with her rudeness, so he comes out and tells her the same thing. And then she wants the battery checked, so he checks it and such but she never buys a battery. And so im told, before she left, she told my manager that I had an "attitude problem" HAHAHAHA! All of us laughed for about 5 minutes! Stupid wench! Yeah like im making up prices because I just feel like ripping you off! Like Im pocketing the other $10 or something! Im not pulling prices out of my ass you wench! Its put plain and simple in big bold numbers on our computers! God I feel bad for the guy that ends up with that miserable bitch!

Then there are the men who like to blame us women for their parts not being available. Like this one guy who called looking for a pitman arm for his truck. I look it up and say "im sorry that part is not available through autozone", hence im seeing the words NOT AVAILABLE next to the part. So he aruges that he bought one for the truck not too long ago, so I say, "Im sorry but our systems say that it is not available for your application" To which he replies, "women should'nt work at Autozone" Now here is what I dont get....If he bought one "not too long ago" then why the fuck does he need another one? Fucking Shovanist fuck!

But let's switch things around for a minute.

Lets take a look at the morons who run Autozone.

First of all there is the "dress code". Its more like uniforms but they cant call it uniforms because then THEY would have to pay for it. So what do we have to wear? We have to wear a red button up polo shirt, and a pair of black Dickies. Fair enough, but THEN they require you to wear black socks, one earing in each ear for females that are no bigger than a dime and no earings for males, one ring on each finger if that, black polishable shoes, no bracelets unless it is a watch and you have to wear a belt. Like WTF! I have seen buisiness firms with less strick dress than that! Now the Dickies cost $20 at walmart if your a male, but I have tried them on and they dont fit females very well. So I had to buy mine at Hott Topic where they sell Dickie Chicks...thats about $50. The shirt goes for about $7 in the little boys section of walmart. Belt is $10. Socks $10 for a pack. Shoes are $15 So im looking at about $90-100 just in fucking clothes! Now mind you Autozone is in the fortune 500, which means it is a BILLION DOLLAR company, yet they make their employees buy $100 in clothes so they can "look" professional while looking up parts, and working on customer's cars. Bullshit! I come in and I always wear my promise bracelet because I never take it off. And they always have to attack me! "How many earrings you got in yer ear?" I had one extra one in my left ear that day because I always have 2 small hoops at the top where the cartilage likes to close up. So they made me take it out, yet they ignore the hairtie I wear on my left wrist and the bracelet I wear on my right. If I forget my belt they will attack me about that. ITS A FUCKING BELT! You dont need a fucking belt to work sufficiently! Morons! And they occasionaly check my socks. They usually are white. Yeah like the customers are going to JUMP over the counter to look down at my socks which are covered by my pants anyway! Fucking morons!

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: No, you just don't have common courtesy/common sense.

2006-10-24 [Andy8178]: Wrong, I am more than fucking courteous.... You just remember all the shit that I don't do right, like two things. What about the food I brought you, the driving I do to go out of my way just to see two people that I thought were friends, well one of them at least, I would have been there for you in a fucking heartbeat when you thought you had TSS fuck... That's all I got, but seriously, what have you done for me? All I ask for is a little sympathy, and you can't even offer that, Now what was that about common courtesy?... Jesus... My heart is huge, I give, that's all I do, and I've never gotten anything back... that's what is depressing me now... My friends can't even make time to let me talk to them, well gee, thank god I have you, I mean sure, you smack me around sometimes, but at least you listen... for 10 minutes. I can't even get my other friends to do that, they're busy with all their other friends and busy making their fucking senior togas.... Damn, if they were in need of someone right now, I'd drop what I was doing just to listen. Don't you get it? .... Nevermind, I'm talking to myself, no one understands me, therefore no one can be my friend, I've always relied on myself, and that's what I gotta do now, because I'm not going to pay someone to listen to me (psychologist).

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: Being courteous and having common courtesy is different. And you didn't come online to talk. You came on, I made a comment as a joke, and you brought up the one thing you KNOW I hate, which caused all this. Not once, in that entire time, did you mention anything about needing to talk to someone. So I dont understand what you want here. And I smack people around because that is how I was raised. I was raised around guys, and guys smack each other around. Sorry for being more of a friend a guy would want than an annoying "lets go shopping!" kinda girl. You can't take the face that I'll smack you on the arm when you make fun of me or say something I don't like, well then you should't be around me, becuase that it how I am.

2006-10-24 [DeeJay™]: errr . . with no dis-respect, is it not time for PM?

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: Umm, is it not MY FUCKING WIKI!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-10-24 [Andy8178]: Sasha... I don't know how else to tell anyone that I need to talk to someone... Diary... First phone call... Late night phone call (sorry, I DIDN'T know Adam gets up early... and it was at 1:30....) Told you last night. What more do you want? Like I said... You don't care about me obviously. Just like everyone else..

2006-10-24 [DeeJay™]: wow . . sorry i spoke. just an idea . .

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: I dont freely go about reading non-friends diary entries. Yeah you called me, but you didn't seem THAT upset about it. You have called me a couple of times late at night, not just last night, and I was online, you could have IMd me. I care about you, just not when you keep talking about the ONE subject you know I hate, and it puts me in a bad mood, where I no longer give a shit/care.

2006-10-24 [Andy8178]: I don't remember calling you after midnight ever... And I did need to talk, and I wasn't on the computer, I was in bed... I even told you that *refer to your messages on aim* I didn't know you were online. You're offline now, so you're not ALWAYS online... anyways.. Whatever... Call me a bad friend all you want... Maybe I am.. but bad friends don't call eachother out and kick the other when they are down. I was upset about it, in fact... We were on the phone for 20-30 minutes just talking about that. I talked about that one subject, because I knew it would grab your attention when you thought I was playing around, because that's what you obviously thought I was doing... Now seriously.. I'm going to bed, if you care enough about me, then fine.. Do what you want. I need someone to talk to.. I need someone to cheer me up, I'm fucking Andy, and this is what I need... Not someone to break me and my ex down and tell me why we were failures or psychos or whatever, I don't need that... Anyways... Goodnight... Seriously.

2006-10-24 [Ł â Đ ŷ √IN Р ι п Ķ]: wow she is a bitch.

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: Im not a bitch, he is making me seem like such, which is really pissing me off. IM NOT FUCKING KICKING YOU WHEN YOUR DOWN MORON! I HAD NO CLUE YOU WERE DOWN! And I AM always fucking online! Im online on HERE arent I!?!?! And I didnt think you were playing around, I just didnt want to FEED your depression by making you talk about it! And you have called me at LEAST twice after midnight. And I get yelled at! And im not telling you youre failures or psychos! You are so delisional! you are pulling this shit out of nowhere. Im not kicking you when you are down! Im not TRYING to make you sad. Your just snowballing in your own fucking depression and are trying to blame it on me! So fucking STOP! I don't need your shit! So stop blaming all of your fucking problems on me! Im sorry I dont answer my phone at 2 in the fucking morning so I can listen to you mope about your ex-girlfriend who lives 1500 miles away! So seriousely, stop trying to blame shit on me because I HAVENT DONE ANYTHING! Oh gee, I made a comment on how you ended your elfpack relationship with me because your girlfriend told you to. OMG its the end of the world! Gee I didnt know you were upset when you corrected one of my friends! Its not like you messaged me saying you were upset! And then you expect me to read your diary like I have nothing to do but read my non-elfpack friends diaries! I shoudl just be a goddamn psychic to make you happy right! And then directly after you had to bring up 9-11 and start a fucking argument about that! Oh you sounded real fucking upset let me tell you! It seems that you give me no hint as to anything and then automatically BLAME EVERYTHING on me! For what? Because I tolf you that you cant call me at 2 am? You make no sense. If you need to fucking talk, tell me! And by starting a 9-11 argument, that isnt fucking telling me! So grow up! I havent done shit! You make things seem 2378562857634 times worse then they are. Get over it and PLEASE go to bed so you can stop coming here and BITCHING and BLAMING shit on me. Because by doing so you are proving nothing but the fact that you can't handle friends!

2006-10-24 [Ihsahn]: I feel like I am on a bad soap Opera right now.

2006-10-24 [FireGypsy]: I know, its fucking stupid! I didnt even do anything!

2006-10-24 [Ihsahn]: All we need now is some cheesy ass music...

2006-10-24 [Kaos101]: *grabs a kettle of popcorn* You said it. But I feel like I'm reading the same stuff over and over.

2007-01-02 [Frosty French Fry]: Everytime I go into an Autozone, I get shitty service, the people dont seem to know shit.....Now thats just my experience with Autozone, but no matter where Im at, I stray away from it and go somewhere else

2007-01-02 [Andy8178]: Wow we were bickering like little bitches ^_^

2007-01-02 [FireGypsy]: Yeah, because IIIIII quit! I was the ONLY person who knew ANYTHING about anything working there! I knew that system inside and out! And they treated me like some stupid female who should go do bitch work all day. So I QUIT!

2007-01-02 [Frosty French Fry]: haha, one of my friends would go in and just start using the stores computer cause he knew more than the people that worked there..

2007-01-02 [FireGypsy]: I do that now ^_^

2007-01-03 [Andy8178]: Hahaha!

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